Post here when you feel like cutting

[bubblefish]

Katey You can get through it Hun. I know you can. How are you doing?

 

[katey]

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Be Gentle with yourself.

 

[Gareth]

I cant do this.
every single night get harder.
& i dont have much will power left to keep fighting.

Never going to beat this

You may be in lots of peoples prayers, but are you doing it yourself? If so, keep it up. The worst thing you can do is give in. If you do, who won? Remember the Apostle Paul? He went through an awful lot as a Christian. He was beaten, whipped, stoned, shipwrecked 3 times and so on. Once whould be enough for most people. Yet he had an affliction that he wanted removed. The Bible doesn't reveal what it was, but Paul prayed for it to be removed.

Like Paul don't expect an instant cure or release. It may take time. So throw your burden on God, let Him sustain you. He will help to cope. He will help you to endure. He will make you strong. See Proverbs 3:5,6.

 

[Gareth]

I have just done it after not doing it for 4 yrs... the urge is strong and I keep calling to God to give me strength to resist and I am at a bad place and I want to do more than cut but really slice myself open and I know it is because of the darkness inside, because of the abused me. I have pushed it to the back of my mind for 4 yrs as I couldn't live with knowing what was done to me, and now is the time to try again and resolve my pain.. for I need to in order to be free in Jesus, free to be vulnerable again, free to trust.

I just hurt

Hey Crunchy. Sorry have not been around lately. Just try to hang in there. It's easy I know to say such from where I'm sitting, but really you have to try. You seem to be taking action, seeking out help. This will boost your self-confidence which is taking quite a beating. Don't give up on prayer. See Proverbs 3:5,6 to get started.

Try this exercise in addition to prayer and talking to your Pastor and counsellor. When you feel you're hurting, write down how you feel. Write it down. If you feel like swearing, put it in writing. However you are feeling, write it down. Then when you have written down how you feel, why you feel it, then destroy it. Tear it up, burn it, do whatever you can. In this way you get out of your system whatever negative feelings you have, why you feel it and so on. You have pushed "the abused me " to the back of your mind. But it wants out, and so the fight is on. You must fight back. This exercise will help because it gets the negative emotions that are inside you out into the open where you can gain the mastery over them and be rid of them. See how it goes. Much love, Woden.

 

[LadyOfMilkweedManor]

I'm tired... of everything... of trying to stay postive, of distacting, of feeling so alone.
I'm triggered beyond belief because of my EDNOS diagnoses today, I feel sick, dizzy. I knew I shouldn't have taken those laxitives. Oh I hope something bad doesn't happen.
I just want to give up. I mean God doesn't really care if I self injure, right?
I just feel so alone and I hate that feeling.
I just want to be a happy normal 19 year old girl? Why can't I be happy?

 

[bubblefish]

I'm tired... of everything... of trying to stay postive, of distacting, of feeling so alone.
I'm triggered beyond belief because of my EDNOS diagnoses today, I feel sick, dizzy. I knew I shouldn't have taken those laxitives. Oh I hope something bad doesn't happen.
I just want to give up. I mean God doesn't really care if I self injure, right?
I just feel so alone and I hate that feeling.
I just want to be a happy normal 19 year old girl? Why can't I be happy?

*hug* I know what it feels like to be alone, but you are never trully alone. And there are people who do care about you and want to help you get through this - God, friends and I am sure many people here including me.

I know it is hard but you can do this. I promise that one day things can and will get better. Don't give up *hug*

If you ever feel alone and just want to talk please feel free to PM me as well, or add me to MSN if you have it. My details are in my profile

Blessings,

Katie

 

[Terax]

I can't get rid of the urges..

 

[Arianna]

I really can't resist it anymore :-(

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

You can do it... you can hang in there and resist. Do the things that have helped you to resist in the past. Try to find new things that you haven't tried or haven't thought of.

Tell yourself you can resist... you can get through this. You are strong and can continue to be strong.

 

[Arianna]

Thanks Kristen,
I don't know what to do apart from run away from everything..but i can't

 

[LadyOfMilkweedManor]

I hate feeling like this. So alone and hopless. My mom confronted me about my eating disorder last night. Told me that I was being selfish and hurting everyone in my family. She made me feel incredibly guilt and disgusting. I wanted to cut so much I was even suicidal at one point.
I just ate fast food, and I can't purge I don't have the privacy so I now I feel like I have to cut.
Why is this so hard?

 

[ChristInAction]

Thanks Kristen,
I don't know what to do apart from run away from everything..but i can't

Hun, I know how easy it is to run, its all i do too.
but just hang in there.
the temptations will go. even if you have to wait for morning, then you can do life again. without having to hide & be ashamed.
try to face little things, like if you work, your customers & co-workers. if you have an argement with a friend, fix it. if you face the little things, it'll be easier to face the bigger problems.
this wont go on forever.
love & prayer.
ally xox

 

[Gareth]

I hate feeling like this. So alone and hopless. My mom confronted me about my eating disorder last night. Told me that I was being selfish and hurting everyone in my family. She made me feel incredibly guilt and disgusting. I wanted to cut so much I was even suicidal at one point.
I just ate fast food, and I can't purge I don't have the privacy so I now I feel like I have to cut.
Why is this so hard?

There is nothing worse than being made to feel guilty and judged and almost convicted. It's an unreal situation. There you are feeling down and someone makes you feel even lower. No wonder you feel suicidal. But take a step back. Why are you in this situation? Or rather how did it get to this situation? Only you know.

So how do you view what your Mum said? Look at it from where she stands. She see's you wasting away, apparently unconcerned to the position you are in, the damage and stress it causes your body, mind, emotions and spiritual life. It in turn gives your Mum stress too, plus she has to deal with the comments from others who will never tell you face to face, " What's the matter with...."? So this is maybe why your Mum reacted this way. She isn't judging you. She has pent up inside her many negative emotions and it one moment they have come out. We have all done that and five minutes later regretted it. But we cannot turn the clock back.

So what to do. Ask yourself, "Do I always want to be a victim"? Or do you want to leave behind what you are now. If you are a Christian, first and foremost you need the support from your family, congregation members, prayer and supplication to God and a clean conscience. The last will be the hardest. Because your current state is/was caused by something. Although God knows everything about us and He wants to help, He can't unless we put forward the effort. All the help God can give us does not come all one way. We have to go and meet it halfway. We have to be as proactive as the help given will be. If you have seen the other posts I've placed, one contains an exercise well worth doing. Don't forget to pray tonight to get God's Spirit to start the help process going. Much love, Woden.

 

[Arianna]

Hun, I know how easy it is to run, its all i do too.
but just hang in there.
the temptations will go. even if you have to wait for morning, then you can do life again. without having to hide & be ashamed.
try to face little things, like if you work, your customers & co-workers. if you have an argement with a friend, fix it. if you face the little things, it'll be easier to face the bigger problems.
this wont go on forever.
love & prayer.
ally xox

thanks Ally

xxx

 

[Arianna]

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

 

[ChristInAction]

i got out of bed havin a bad day & its only got worse since then & its only 7:20am, So i'v been awake for an hour.
all mums done since I got out of bed & the last so many weeks is yell at me.
its so hopeless.
I dont want 2 go 2, I just wanna wag. Get on the train & go out to geelong to see my bestie.
I wanna cut so so bad & its only getting harder not to.
Mum informed me last night that while my grandparents ( house live in a granny flat in the backyard) are on their road trip around australia, she will be living @ her bfs. she'll bring us food & to yell at me about whatever she feels like yelling at me today about but thats it, other then that. she wont be around. although thats a lot like what happens now, its going to be worse.
I want her gone, but I need a mum.
I need a mum, just not her.
She's no mum.

If I didnt need 2 leave 4 the bus, I'd cut.
hope you guys have a better day then me.

 

[littlenova]

i feel tense and nervous but i'm not going to ruin a week

 

[goldenviolet]

i got out of bed havin a bad day & its only got worse since then & its only 7:20am, So i'v been awake for an hour.
all mums done since I got out of bed & the last so many weeks is yell at me.
its so hopeless.
I dont want 2 go 2, I just wanna wag. Get on the train & go out to geelong to see my bestie.
I wanna cut so so bad & its only getting harder not to.
Mum informed me last night that while my grandparents ( house live in a granny flat in the backyard) are on their road trip around australia, she will be living @ her bfs. she'll bring us food & to yell at me about whatever she feels like yelling at me today about but thats it, other then that. she wont be around. although thats a lot like what happens now, its going to be worse.
I want her gone, but I need a mum.
I need a mum, just not her.
She's no mum.

If I didnt need 2 leave 4 the bus, I'd cut.
hope you guys have a better day then me.

i'm glad the buss stopped you. bless your heart. surround yourself with as much support as possible! xo dee