*possible trigger*....just me venting again...

[NoddaProbBob]

well, we'll start with the fact that my cutting is getting way outta hand.
I normally will only make one cut a day or I'll try to cut every other day, or every other two days or what not, and yesterday I ended up cutting 10 times consecutively.
I'm so mad at myself. I just can't seem to fight this anymore.

Its officially taken over my life. no ifs ands or buts about it

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

Hi JJ,
Hun, have you told someone about this? You know I've suggested a therapist or a counselor before and I really believe you need to tell someone what's going on. Cutting is very serious regardless of the time interval and only you can make the pro-active decision to tell someone about it. What's more though, I know you've got what it takes to do just that. I've seen how, even when you're totally exhausted, you don't give up. You can do it JJ!

 

[Everlasting33]

^^ I agree with seeing a counselor if you haven't already...and also please please don't give up. I know how hard and tiring depression/mood disorders can be but keep fighting. I am living proof that fighting is worth it!!

Hang in there my dear friend.

 

[NoddaProbBob]

Steffi. thanks for the encouragement. but theres just one thing...
I don't want people to know. I mean, yea, Its becoming a problem, but I just don't want people to know.
most of all, I don't want my parents to find out.
I just don't and I wouldn't be able to ever face them again like I do now.

I just can't do it

 

[berry2000]

Wow it is scary to tell someone for the first time. Anytime I knew I had to tell someone like a counselor, therapist or friend my palms would sweat my stomache would hurt and I would start to shake. But with each safe person I found...I moved one step closer to recovery. I had one more person to be on my side in this battle. Soooo soooo hard to fight this alone.

I always tell my husband this about his addiction...isn't it better to find a confidential safe person to talk with...then for your secret to be exposed and not have control over whom finds out?

Just a thought. And sending warm fuzzies your way. I know first hand how difficult hiding this secret and living with this secret and fighting against these thoughts can be.

 

[kathleenmary]

you can get throigh this. i know you can. you have to pray wen u get these feeling, until they go away. this may take some time, but i know it works for some. if taht doesnt help, talking to someone usually helps me. i hope you are feeling better soon.