Possible OCD, and stress with prayer. Need guidance and help.

[Freedom0401]

Have you had any obsessions/scrupulosity about trying to figure out what to do about "gray" areas, or lifestyle/discipline issues mentioned in the Bible? This seems to be the most common type of obsession I have these days. My first reaction is to do a lot of research to "figure it out," but that almost seems to be a compulsion, because it leads to more and more questions. But it feels so weird to just do nothing, except for pray and ask God to keep "recalibrating" my mind so I can think about the issues logically again. Do you have any advice for dealing with this kind of obsession, if you've experienced it?

Hi Mari17,
For sure there are "gray" areas that have been, and still are, challenging to me.

I'd like to share some perspectives/viewpoints/beliefs that have been used to bring comfort and freedom to me. To be honest though, I don't always walk in line with these perspectives. But I'm a work in progress

So many of us want to please God. We want to be within His will. But we struggle with these "gray" or "grey" (what is the correct spelling btw) areas. We struggle because we don't want to mess up... to be in sin. But sometimes we aren't too sure, you know?

Dear reader, I have a question... What does it mean to become more and more like Jesus? Maybe somebody views this with a slightly negative connotation, as I think I've sort of done. For example, somebody may think it means I'll have to sacrifice more, live a more unpleasant life, give up desires, etc. But think about this, Jesus always pleased His Father. There were no issues with "gray" areas. There was no confusion within Him. His mind was perfectly sound. Jesus was as inwardly healthy as one could be. Actually, being made more like Christ is something so sweet and pleasant. It truly is desirable! And it certainly does not mean that desires will have to go unfulfilled.

What amazing news this is, for not only do we have a hope that is coming (paradise and perfection), but we also have a present hope in the truth that we are becoming more and more like Jesus. Romans 8:29 shows this. We are becoming more like Jesus. And this is not because we are trying so hard to become like Jesus, nor is it because we are "figuring out" all the gray areas via our research; rather, it's because this is our destiny. HE is doing it. An apple tree does not produce apples because it works its tail off to produce apples, rather, it produces apples because it's woven in the apple tree's DNA to produce apples. As reborn believers, we have a new DNA, so to speak. We can not stop becoming who HE wants us to become. I believe an outcome of becoming more and more like Jesus is that we do what pleases HIM more and more, and what displeases HIM less and less (possible reference 1John 3:8). Not perfectly, but progressively. We are improving. We are growing. And again, it is not necessarily because we are trying harder. No, no, no... the credit belongs to HIM. HE is changing us. We are becoming more loving. We are becoming ppl who are more willing to forgive. Those sweet fruits mentioned in Galatians 5 are being produced in us more and more. We are becoming people who please God more and more. If there is a gray area that we are not seeing correctly, that we are not behaving in a way that pleases Him with -- HE will... actually, HE is growing us there, too. (I know that doesn't directly answer the question of what one should do regarding their specific gray area, but it does give us hope regarding it). (Proof that we are growing and becoming more like Him can be found in Romans 8:29 and 2Cor 3:18).

In addition, in 1John 5:14-15 we see that we should have confidence when we pray if we ask for things "according to his will" (ESV). To paraphrase these two verses, when we pray according to God's will, we have what we have asked for. And I would guess many are familiar with Jesus' encouraging words in the Gospels to ask and receive.

We want His approval in every area of life (including those gray areas). If we are asking God that He would lead and guide us... if we are asking God that He would help us (maybe even cause us) to do according to His will, how will He not? (And that does NOT necessarily mean that if a person prays about a gray area, that the first thing they think or feel is GOD giving HIS answer). HE has provided us with common sense, and HE provides us with wisdom. And I believe HE has provided us with people whom we can confide in to bounce our questions off of, as well.

Something else to chew on...

Take a look at 1Tim 4:3-5. Paul talks about receiving things "with thanks" (ESV). I do not want to misinterpret anything here, so if there is a reader who disagrees with me, cut me some slack (I don't know what this emoji is doing, but I kind of like it)

But maybe we can apply this to our living... if we can reasonably thank God for something, maybe that shows it is within His will (and that doesn't mean we should twist things, for example, stealing something and then thanking Him for the stolen item...). But maybe we can find even more wisdom, discernment, and peace in giving thanks. Can you thank Him for what you want to do in the gray area? (Doesn't mean you have to go this way or that way with it, but if you can reasonably thank Him for it, maybe it's within His will / approval).

May we all find even more wisdom, discernment, and peace in these gray areas. In Jesus' name; amen.

 

[Mari17]

Thanks for responding Mari! That’s really helpful and encouraging. Could you explain more the “issue itself is not the problem?”

I really love Dr. Osborn’s website. I’ve read almost all those blogs lol. I met with him on FaceTime too several times and really appreciate him.

I’ll check out the other site too. I’m hesitant on some sites that are strictly “biblical counseling.” Not at all that I don’t love the Word! I read it daily, and memorize frequently, but I feel like some “biblical” approaches are from well-intentioned people that have no idea what OCD is like. They really lack professional understanding also. What are your thoughts on strictly “biblical” counseling?
Thank you for your help, I may have some more questions later if that’s ok

Thanks for your response. I guess what I mean by "the issue itself is not the problem" is that OCD always brings up something for us to worry about. So, it doesn't matter so much what it is, although OCD would like us to think that whatever we're worrying about is the problem. But really, the problem is that OCD is making it a big deal. We think we have an unsolvable problem, but it's OCD that is making it seem unsolvable, or rather that is tampering with our thought process so that we are unable to deal with the thing logically and rest in a reasonable amount of uncertainty. Does that make sense?

I agree, I tend to be cautious of completely spiritual approaches to OCD. But this speaker doesn't seem to be against medication or therapy, though he does lean heavily toward attributing OCD to a spiritual root. But, in my mind, he differentiates it enough to not make it out to be a spiritual "problem" or deficiency on our part. The issue is that we depend too much on ourselves and not enough on God - which is true. Anyway, I've heard so much of the therapy/ERP side of things, and while I do agree that those strategies work for reducing fear, I guess I felt like I was lacking a bit of the "trusting God" part. I know how to reduce my fear, but that still doesn't help solve my questions. I think what I need to focus on for now is NOT trying to solve them myself, and resting in God and trusting that He will help me solve them - or get me to the point where my mind is able to solve them - in His timing.

Not entirely sure what I think about strictly Biblical counseling. In my mind, a balanced approach is beneficial. So, knowing how to employ ERP strategies, but also learning how to trust God more, and building our relationship with Him. I'm still trying to sort it all out myself, but in my opinion sometimes meds or ERP are helpful to get us to the point where we CAN use more spiritual approaches. Perhaps it's different for everybody, though.

And yes - definitely ask more questions as you have them!

 

[Mari17]

Hi Mari17,
For sure there are "gray" areas that have been, and still are, challenging to me.

I'd like to share some perspectives/viewpoints/beliefs that have been used to bring comfort and freedom to me. To be honest though, I don't always walk in line with these perspectives. But I'm a work in progress

So many of us want to please God. We want to be within His will. But we struggle with these "gray" or "grey" (what is the correct spelling btw) areas. We struggle because we don't want to mess up... to be in sin. But sometimes we aren't too sure, you know?

Dear reader, I have a question... What does it mean to become more and more like Jesus? Maybe somebody views this with a slightly negative connotation, as I think I've sort of done. For example, somebody may think it means I'll have to sacrifice more, live a more unpleasant life, give up desires, etc. But think about this, Jesus always pleased His Father. There were no issues with "gray" areas. There was no confusion within Him. His mind was perfectly sound. Jesus was as inwardly healthy as one could be. Actually, being made more like Christ is something so sweet and pleasant. It truly is desirable! And it certainly does not mean that desires will have to go unfulfilled.

What amazing news this is, for not only do we have a hope that is coming (paradise and perfection), but we also have a present hope in the truth that we are becoming more and more like Jesus. Romans 8:29 shows this. We are becoming more like Jesus. And this is not because we are trying so hard to become like Jesus, nor is it because we are "figuring out" all the gray areas via our research; rather, it's because this is our destiny. HE is doing it. An apple tree does not produce apples because it works its tail off to produce apples, rather, it produces apples because it's woven in the apple tree's DNA to produce apples. As reborn believers, we have a new DNA, so to speak. We can not stop becoming who HE wants us to become. I believe an outcome of becoming more and more like Jesus is that we do what pleases HIM more and more, and what displeases HIM less and less (possible reference 1John 3:8). Not perfectly, but progressively. We are improving. We are growing. And again, it is not necessarily because we are trying harder. No, no, no... the credit belongs to HIM. HE is changing us. We are becoming more loving. We are becoming ppl who are more willing to forgive. Those sweet fruits mentioned in Galatians 5 are being produced in us more and more. We are becoming people who please God more and more. If there is a gray area that we are not seeing correctly, that we are not behaving in a way that pleases Him with -- HE will... actually, HE is growing us there, too. (I know that doesn't directly answer the question of what one should do regarding their specific gray area, but it does give us hope regarding it). (Proof that we are growing and becoming more like Him can be found in Romans 8:29 and 2Cor 3:18).

In addition, in 1John 5:14-15 we see that we should have confidence when we pray if we ask for things "according to his will" (ESV). To paraphrase these two verses, when we pray according to God's will, we have what we have asked for. And I would guess many are familiar with Jesus' encouraging words in the Gospels to ask and receive.

We want His approval in every area of life (including those gray areas). If we are asking God that He would lead and guide us... if we are asking God that He would help us (maybe even cause us) to do according to His will, how will He not? (And that does NOT necessarily mean that if a person prays about a gray area, that the first thing they think or feel is GOD giving HIS answer). HE has provided us with common sense, and HE provides us with wisdom. And I believe HE has provided us with people whom we can confide in to bounce our questions off of, as well.

Something else to chew on...

Take a look at 1Tim 4:3-5. Paul talks about receiving things "with thanks" (ESV). I do not want to misinterpret anything here, so if there is a reader who disagrees with me, cut me some slack (I don't know what this emoji is doing, but I kind of like it)

But maybe we can apply this to our living... if we can reasonably thank God for something, maybe that shows it is within His will (and that doesn't mean we should twist things, for example, stealing something and then thanking Him for the stolen item...). But maybe we can find even more wisdom, discernment, and peace in giving thanks. Can you thank Him for what you want to do in the gray area? (Doesn't mean you have to go this way or that way with it, but if you can reasonably thank Him for it, maybe it's within His will / approval).

May we all find even more wisdom, discernment, and peace in these gray areas. In Jesus' name; amen.

Thank you so much for your response! A lot of food for thought!