Pop that question :)

[Sadiegrl]

So i'm getting just a tad anxious...lol. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years, and we're raising our 3 year old daughter. Well in the beginningish of our relationship (say 6 months) he made a comment about not getting married til 25 or so. And i was completely fine with it, i dont want to rush him into anything hes not ready for, plus i want to make sure we belong together. God has pretty much confirmed that, so i'm not worried. We've been living together this whole time, and we get along perfectly. We practically are already married! But he is already 25, and he makes comments like calling me his fiance. And that totally wouldnt bother me, if he were to actually ask me! When he says that, i just simply smile and say nope not yet. So i dont know if hes getting closer to marriage by getting himself comfortable with that thought by saying it aloud. Pretty much i just want him to ask already, we dont have to rush to the wedding, but we are practically married, but he hasnt officially committed. And that kinda worries me. Well that enough of my anxious rant, but i was just wondering your thoughts on his actions, or if you've experienced the same things and how you dealt with it. Thanks guys!

 

[RobinRedbreast]

Talk to him about it.

Seriously, that's my only advice for you. Bring it up, and don't be afraid to bring it up either. This is important Just talk to him about it I could sit here and try to "guess" for you if he's thinking about marriage, but why not just seriously ask him! "You say "fiance" a lot, is your mind on the track of marriage lately?"

 

[Sadiegrl]

lol yes yes your right i just didnt want to hear the answer...hmm i think i want to wait til i'm 27 or something like that lol. But i will ask him, and unfortunately he is completely lacking in the romantic department....boo! Some guys it just comes naturally i guess. Thanks Morning Glory!

 

[Sadiegrl]

bah, double posting

 

[DanC922]

plus i want to make sure we belong together. God has pretty much confirmed that, so i'm not worried.

With all due respect and love to you, God is not ok with sin. Extramarital sex is sin, and God is not ok with it, whether you think He is or not. If you love Jesus as much as your signature says, you won't love to disobey Him.

 

[Lino]

Why don't you ask him if he wants to marrie you?

 

[dobieman0488]

it really sounds like this guy's kind of playing games, teasing the idea of being engaged, you deserve better, so set him straight and at least be serious about getting engagd, in a loving way tell him. and if you think you're gonna spend the resst of your lives together, get engaged, because your little girl dceserves to have mommy and daddy be married if they love each other.

 

[K9_Trainer]

Oh I doubt that....It sounds like he's just a little skittish with the idea of commitment. Which is completely understandable of course, but at this point, a tad silly since they are already acting as husband and wife, living together and raising a child.

Sadiegirl, I agree with Morning Glory, talk to him!

 

[seashale76]

You have a three year old daughter together, you've been living together, and you wonder whether or not he wants to marry you because he calls you his fiance sometimes? Is that right? You're anxious because he hasn't asked you to marry him? Seriously? Why not ask him to marry you? Why bother with clinging to any traditions now? Better yet, why don't you sit him down and explain how (you know) since the both of you are supposedly Christians it might be novel to not live in sin anymore and get married straight away.

Seriously, human nature hasn't changed in 2000 years since the Resurrection and neither has the teachings of Christ's Holy Church.

 

[The Nihilist]

Wait, what? You've been together 2 and a half years, and you have a 3 year old daughter together? Maybe my math is off here, but I'm a little confused.

 

[Blank123]

me too... anyhow sounds like you're both too scared to actually discuss but obviously marriage should be discussed given the fact that you're even admitting to already living like husband and wife why not actually make it official?

 

[tessas212]

I'm confused about the child and amount of time you've been together as well, but that is besides the point.

I would sit down and seriously talk to him. Ask him when he thinks would be the best time to legally get married. If he wants to. How he wants to. In fact, I'd probably ask HOW he wants to first - that tends to be more of "some day" kind of thinking, dreaming and planning it together with no strings attached. And theeen go in for the kill. Ask him how soon he thinks this will happen.

Every now and then I'll say something to my boyfriend that suggests he should/could ask it anytime now. And for us, there's nothing uncomfortable about such a conversation as we both know it will happen (because of previous conversations), now its just him finding the right time - he's sooo nervous that it won't be perfect.

 

[cgid3]

You live together, presumably sleep together and all that that entails. The reason he hasn't proposed yet is because he doesn't have to. He already has everything marriage will offer, with an easy out. No legalities or paperwork if times get tough.

The whole point of marriage is to be with the one you love. Its so you can have sex, sleep together, live together, and share every aspect of your life. If he has that now, why would he bother with silly little "vows" and a ring that confines him to you. He's got a good situation, and an open back door he can leave out of anytime he chooses.

You let the horse run wild for 2 1/2 years, breaking him won't be easy.

 

[Starting again]

You live together, presumably sleep together and all that that entails. The reason he hasn't proposed yet is because he doesn't have to. He already has everything marriage will offer, with an easy out. No legalities or paperwork if times get tough.

The whole point of marriage is to be with the one you love. Its so you can have sex, sleep together, live together, and share every aspect of your life. If he has that now, why would he bother with silly little "vows" and a ring that confines him to you. He's got a good situation, and an open back door he can leave out of anytime he chooses.

You let the horse run wild for 2 1/2 years, breaking him won't be easy.

Hahaha, I totally agree with you on this. you're great!!


*

 

[ImperialPhantom]

I don't agree. So marriage is all about sex now?

 

[RobinRedbreast]

Mod Hat On

This thread was dormant for two, nearly three, months, and just got a very random awakening in the wrong direction (toward being off-topic). I assume if the OP has any updates, she will make a new thread.

Closing this out at this time.

Mod Hat Off