Polygamy problematic?.

[coffee4u]

For the record, I would never take multiple wives for myself. I am content to marry one woman for life. However, I cannot in good conscience argue against what scripture teaches on the subject of polygamy. And from what I've read and understood, scripture teaches that polygamy is perfectly acceptable.

As I said in my earlier post, Deuteronomy 17:17 addresses this subject; it says that a believer cannot take many wives. Which is to say, he cannot take an excess amount of wives, but he is permitted to take a few of them if he so chooses.

Again, polygamy is not something I wish to practice, but I feel like it's wrong and immoral to argue against the Word of God. Therefore, I believe polygamy should be legal for Christians wishing to enter into a plural marriage. It isn't adultery.

God intended marriage to be one man to one woman for life.
Matthew 19:4-5
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
Two become one, not three or four or more. Marriage only ever applies to one man to one woman. Anyone else it outside of this union and sex outside of marriage is adultery and fornication.

1 Corinthians 7:2-5
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Husband singular, wife singular.

Deuteronomy is part of the Old Testament laws. God allowed certain things then only because of the state of the people. He didn't allow it because he found it a pleasing thing. These people were barbarians and the Holy Spirit had not yet been given. God holds us up to much higher standards.

In the same way, God also allowed them to divorce in Deuteronomy as well, but Jesus brought in a new command.
Matthew 19:3-11
“The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?’
And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’
They said to Him, ‘Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?’
He said to them, ‘Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.’
His disciples said to Him, ‘If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.’
But He said to them, ‘All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given …’
There has to be first a divorce- then a new marriage and even then that second marriage is only viewed as marriage when there was immortality in the first marriage. If there was no immorality in the first marriage and he marries again, that marriage while being legal in human eyes is not legal marriage in God's sight. In God''s sight he is still married to his first wife.

 

[Nine of Spades]

God intended marriage to be one man to one woman for life.
Matthew 19:4-5
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
Two become one, not three or four or more. Marriage only ever applies to one man to one woman. Anyone else it outside of this union and sex outside of marriage is adultery and fornication.

1 Corinthians 7:2-5
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Husband singular, wife singular.

Deuteronomy is part of the Old Testament laws. God allowed certain things then only because of the state of the people. He didn't allow it because he found it a pleasing thing. These people were barbarians and the Holy Spirit had not yet been given. God holds us up to much higher standards.

In the same way, God also allowed them to divorce in Deuteronomy as well, but Jesus brought in a new command.
Matthew 19:3-11
“The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?’
And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.’
They said to Him, ‘Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?’
He said to them, ‘Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.’
His disciples said to Him, ‘If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.’
But He said to them, ‘All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given …’
There has to be first a divorce- then a new marriage and even then that second marriage is only viewed as marriage when there was immortality in the first marriage. If there was no immorality in the first marriage and he marries again, that marriage while being legal in human eyes is not legal marriage in God's sight. In God''s sight he is still married to his first wife.

Explain where those scriptures explicitly prohibit polygamy.

 

[coffee4u]

Explain where those scriptures explicitly prohibit polygamy.

Where it says one man to one woman, over and over again.

You can't even so much as look with lust (includes pornography) upon another woman outside of your wife (singular) without it being counted as adultery, let alone sleep with her.
Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
That is how high the standard is for us.

 

[Kylie]

More mouths to feed. Each wife and her children would be like a separate household.

You do realise that women are able to have jobs of their own and make their own money, right?

And I've heard of lots of polyamorous people who all live together, which saves a lot of money on things. Easier to find a babysitter, they can share cars, etc...

 

[Sabertooth]

And I've heard of lots of polyamorous people who all live together,...

"Polyamory" is a different culture than "polygyny."

 

[HelenScot]

I do not believe that Bible supports the latter, but there were instances in OT Israel where God required a man to marry his brother's widow, even if he already had his own wife.

The only obstruction to that, now, is the local laws of the land (which I am fine with), not the Bible.

God requires us to look at the entirety of His word, as a whole, to discern His truth, not just single verses.
As has already been mentioned in previous threads, Polygamy is not God’s design due to its devastating consequences.

As already mentioned, Genesis 2 reveals the pattern of a man leaving his family to “be joined to his wife,”(singular) not wives. This union is then described as becoming “one flesh.”


The first reference to polygamy is found in Genesis 4 in the lineage of Cain who was a murderer. The fact that it was introduced via the lineage of an unbeliever clearly shows that it was flawed.

Just because some of God’s chosen adopted the practice afterwards doesn’t not make it right; as indicated before, the consequences of Abraham’s sin of marrying Hagar has been detrimental to the whole of history.

Polygamous relationships are never mentioned in a positive light, and, indeed, the problems of such relationships are clearly presented.

Just because the Bible records polygamous relationships does not mean that God approves of such things.


1 Corinthians 7:2, demonstrates God’s expectations regarding marriage, which says, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.”


1 Timothy 3:2, 12 and Titus 1:6 also explain that one spouse is God’s intention.

The text that you are referring to in Deuteronomy 25:5-10, only has two examples in the bible of where this did happen and both ‘brothers’ were unmarried: The first is with Judah’s son Er and daughter-in-law Tamar (Genesis 38). The second is with Ruth and Boaz ( Ruth 2-4).

Furthermore, the word brother didn’t necessarily mean a brother in the sense of a brother from the immediate family. In the case of Boaz, he is referred to as a “relative” or “kindred” and there was a kinsman nearer than Boaz who did refuse. So the fact that Boaz married Ruth to fulfil this law shows it means someone in the same clan, not necessarily a brother, i .e. sibling of the deceased husband. This is attested to in other laws as well (See Numbers 36:8). It is believed that to fulfil the requirement in Deut 25, there would be at least one unmarried man in the entire clan who could fulfil this duty, so this text does not and cannot be used to justify polygamy.

 

[coffee4u]

Exactly, the Bible does not hide people's flaws, even the great men and woman of God were not glossed over. Noah got drunk, David committed adultery and murder, Solomon had many wives (and notice it was his downfall) Just because the Bible shows something does not mean its saying 'this is good'. It's showing it so we can see the consequences it brings and also so we can see even men like Noah were not perfect, they too were a work in progress. Faulty human beings not some kind of idol up on a pedestal.

 

[Kylie]

"Polyamory" is a different culture than "polygyny."

But it still falls under the same umbrella of non-monogamous relationships.

 

[Sabertooth]

But it still falls under the same umbrella of non-monogamous relationships.

Not when you are arguing for Old Testament polygamy (a.k.a. polygyny).

To be clear, I believe that polygyny is less-than-ideal and it is even discouraged in the New Testament, but I can find nowhere in the Bible where it is actually deemed a sin other than "we must obey the laws of the land" in Romans 13.

 

[Kylie]

Not when you are arguing for Old Testament polygamy (a.k.a. polygyny).

To be clear, I believe that polygyny is less-than-ideal and it is even discouraged in the New Testament, but I can find nowhere in the Bible where it is actually deemed a sin other than "we must obey the laws of the land" in Romans 13.

I'm sorry, were we discussing polygamy purely as it is described in the OT? Because I missed that part of the OP.

 

[TLK Valentine]

My argument against bigamy comes straight from Matthew 6:24:

"No man can serve two masters..."

 

[Sabertooth]

I'm sorry, were we discussing polygamy purely as it is described in the OT? Because I missed that part of the OP.

That was the context that I understood it to be in. (Bisexual polyamory [threesomes, etc.] is off-topic at CF.)

 

[Kylie]

That was the context that I understood it to be in. (Bisexual polyamory [threesomes, etc.] is off-topic at CF.)

Who says polyamory has to be bisexual? A man can have a relationship with Woman A and Woman B, but that doesn't mean Woman A and Woman B must have a physical relationship as well. I've heard of some instances where the two hardly even see each other.

 

[Sabertooth]

Who says polyamory has to be bisexual? A man can have a relationship with Woman A and Woman B, but that doesn't mean Woman A and Woman B must have a physical relationship as well. I've heard of some instances where the two hardly even see each other.

That is the OT model.

 

[Speedwell]

Who says polyamory has to be bisexual? A man can have a relationship with Woman A and Woman B, but that doesn't mean Woman A and Woman B must have a physical relationship as well. I've heard of some instances where the two hardly even see each other.

I lived in Morocco for a couple of years (where it's allowed) next to a married couple with kids. The husband had business interests in another town three hours away where he spent about half of his time. There he had another household with a wife and kids. The two families never saw each other.

 

[Kylie]

That is the OT model.

Who said we're only talking about the OT model?

 

[Sabertooth]

Who said we're only talking about the OT model?

Maybe we should ask the OP (@Ann77), instead of going back & forth on this point.

 

[ewq1938]

MOD HAT ON

Polygamy is illegal and is not allowed to be discussed at CF. The thread will be closed.

MOD HAT OFF​