Please take a moment, I have a question.

[swingnscream]

Girls, how on earth can we approach you?

approach as friends. personally I don't want to get to know a guy who is just out to get a date.
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so true. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Even reaching out to a church short term will have its benifits. It will give you some practice in reaching out and joining a group, and give you something to do in the interim. and maybe you will stay after all

this is also true. I've always been in a demonational church and one of the huge things I love about is it that I almost always can find some kind of connection to where I move to next through the church, and there always seems to be somebody who knows someone else, so it's really cool to have those connections.

Also, get some hobbies, like joining a book club, doing community service, working at city missions, tutoring kids, go to concerts and museums. Not every place that "normal" people hang out involves drinking and other debauchery. You'll meet other splendid people just like if you do the type of things YOU like doing!

I completely have to agree with this, that would of been one of the first things I'd say too. ...but it's already been said so I'll leave it as is with a little endorsement attachted to it.

If you're really into checking out some churches but you don't want to just randomly stop in at some unknown church then why don't you like throw out what area or region or even major city that you're near or what state at least, that way maybe ppl could at least suggest something not too far from your area ...let alone on the other side of the country or something crazy like that. Of course that really depends how comfortable you are with that, but it's a thought.
I know a few good churches in different states & cities, but nothing out on the west coast [at least not yet, haven't made it out there yet]. and if I could help ya out there.. I'd love to try.

 

[zyzychyn]

Here's an example of a frappr map. They're used mostly for online groups -- say, members of a forum -- so that you can see where everyone's located. This one is for members at the collegeconfidential boards. They are public, and this does mean giving out your zip code.

Still, it's really neat to see how members are spread out across the map, and it's even neater to find out that other members live near you.

See, the site still hasn't really been decided where I'll primarily work out of - I've really just been going from place to place wherever I'm needed in the company (which is really wearing me out), so if I started attending a church - what if I don't stay in that city?

You know, that's probably the last of your concerns. =) Nothing is permanent... you can put things off on that logic forever! You never know.

Girls, how on earth can we approach you?

Haha... I take very badly to being approached by strange guys. The only time I wouldn't is if I'm at an orientation-style event where nobody knows anyone anyway and it's completely normal to be greeting strangers.

Since you're into IT, maybe you could find the local ACM chapter, or 2600 club? LAN parties would be fun, and might spill over to lunch or movies or whatever guys do for fun.

Good luck!

 

[Alenci]

2600 = Nerd club.

Bad for the 'ole image.



But seriously, do pursue your interests, especially the interests that will expose you to other people. Maybe you can make a list of things you've always wanted to do- and take a class. Maybe you can join a club. Maybe you can volunteer.

The absolutely crucial thing, however, remains to find a church family.

 

[zyzychyn]

Hey, hey. 2600 people aren't that bad. They're pretty nice. Granted, the Indy group met in a coffee shop.... and nearly everyone brought their own laptop/handheld and chatted on IRC while there... but still!

 

[Sketcher]

I think that small groups (we called them "home groups") are possibly the best environment, (although to acknowledge what someone else said, there are lots of opportunities in a large, well-organized church) but those are even harder to find. There are churches advertised virtually everywhere, and you can find them if you look hard enough. Small groups are often held in people's own homes, and what I've seen is often only advertised in monochrome pamphlets at churches that encourage it.
Really, the reason there's so much focus on church, church, church is because it's one of the best-known places (that I'm aware of) where Christians... well... congregate.

Well, I've got news for you. You're unlikely to find a small group unless you go to a church first. Some churches (especially big ones) stress small groups so much that all you need to do is check the right box on the bulletin and give them your contact info, and they'll hook you up with a small group. At others, you'll have to dig a little more, but it should be easy to discover whether the church offers a small group or not and easy to get into one that is appropriate for you as well. But you've got to start with "big church."

 

[sherri]

I've been the in the same boat too most of my life - ie the good little church girl who felt like an alien.

Luckily I grew up in a great church full of great friends who shared my values, however I've since moved to a big church that I wasn't able to really get involved in due to chronic illness so I've spent the last 6 years or so mostly alone.

I find the internet a good place. Because at least there's always someone to talk to online either in a chatroom or forum. It doesn't come close to face to face but at least it gives you something while you're trying to find your feet.

I've always hated church shopping too so I can relate to how you feel. lol - although I never actually found finding a good church hard. It was getting settled in that took the work.

Hope you find some like minded friends soon

 

[BlueSpectrum]

Zyzychyn, thank you so much for your suggestions. While I'm not sure if those groups exist in any nearby area to me, I will certainly look into them.

The absolutely crucial thing, however, remains to find a church family.

It is certainly not good to be alone for so long. There is accountability and support in the church that you do not otherwise have.

and take a class. Maybe you can join a club. Maybe you can volunteer.

Also good ideas. Still, classes and clubs require prior knowledge. I will try and keep my eyes open for those kind of things, but where would you go in a city entirely new to you to find those things? The only place I have thought of so far is that one of these places I might potentially live at is very close to a university/college/whatever.
I have only toured a college campus once ever about a year ago when things were a little different. It's a very foreign environment to me so I would not really know what I was doing - are you "allowed" to walk around a college campus just however you like if you aren't enrolled/accepted in it? Dumb question, maybe, but my excuse has always been, "You don't know if no one has told you."

You're unlikely to find a small group unless you go to a church first.

Isn't it ironic then? Find a big group to join a small group.

the good little church girl who felt like an alien.

(o..o) \/
I'm sorry, and I'd invite you to PM me or something if you like. That sounds really rough.
May I ask what sort of illness that is? Are you getting better?

I will continue to be open to finding a church, and even actively look. In the meanwhile, where would you guys look for a church? I will mention two of the places I might be looking as was suggested by someone earlier.
Murray, Kentucky.
Aurora, Missouri.
If you know how small these places are, know that I would never have chosen either of them! XD If I ended up in either, I will certainly have to trust God that He knows what He's doing. ;_; It's hardly civilized /dramatic.exaggeration()
Thanks again for responding to my messages. I'm very glad that there are people out there like me, and even more so that some of those people are willing to take a few moments to help me.

 

[zyzychyn]

are you "allowed" to walk around a college campus just however you like if you aren't enrolled/accepted in it? Dumb question, maybe, but my excuse has always been, "You don't know if no one has told you."

'Course you are! Interested high school students and their parents visit college campuses all the time. Sometimes people just TOUR campuses because they're historic or something. Many campus events are open to the general public. I know at my school, most of the buildings are public -- anyone can go in or out during the daytime. Some of the buildings lock at 6pm and you need a student ID to get in. But there's nothing that says the campus is off-limits to nonstudents.

As for where to find classes, volunteer work... I see lots of signs on the subway around here. There's also newspapers. If you find a church to check out, they usually have events in their bulletin; most of the ones I've visited also have like an announcement board in the lobby. Also -- even if your peers at work *cough* socialize in ways that you avoid, they may know of places you could get involved.

I dunno -- do you like sports at all? My church at home had a pretty neat recreational sports league. Or you could help coach Dad's club/little league or something? Or... not. =)

 

[Super Gnat]

Also good ideas. Still, classes and clubs require prior knowledge. I will try and keep my eyes open for those kind of things, but where would you go in a city entirely new to you to find those things?

Nah, a lot of the time they'll have adult classes for beginnners. So you can learn dancing, or cooking, or pottery, or art, or music, or swimming, or gymnastics, or bowling, or another language, or CPR, or chess, or knitting, or how to invest your money, or ice skating, or whatever. (And if you pick something girly, you'll be the only single guy there, which has its advantages .) To find out about them, go to the website for your county and poke around a bit, or type [county name here] adult classes into Google. I just did it with my county, and the Parks and Recreation webpage with registration details and a link to the guide to classes popped up as the very first link. Apparently they also do adult sports leagues, publish a calender of cool things happening around the county, provide a guide to trails, and things like that. Your tax dollars are paying for these resources; you may as well take advantage of them.

 

[Super Gnat]

Okay, Murray, Kentucky:
Here's the link to their website; they're also the seat of Calloway county

Here's a list of their churches

Looking at adult classes didn't bring up that much, but you could volunteer at the hospital, join the Humane Society, if you like animals, or chill at Murray State University.

Aurora, Missouri is a little harder, mainly because Lawrence County doesn't have a webpage. But there's still stuff there:
Here's their Chamber of Commerce page

Here's a list of churches

I'm sure the New Life Women's Center could use a volunteer.

And I think there's an extension of the University of Missouri in Lawrence county (sorry, no link), so you might be able to do some continuing education classes there.

Also, you'll be near Joplin, Bronson, and Springfield, which are kind of biggish, so I'm sure there'll be stuff going on there.

There won't be as many resources as you get living near a big city in either place, but there are still things you can do. And wherever you go, God will provide.