Please pray!!!

[Treewolf]

I am going to try to keep this as short as possible, but I need to get this out. I should have gotten this out a long time ago before rock bottom came.

I have an addiction(s) that are idols
I have been struggling with mental health (depression)
I have been struggling with ADHD
I have been struggling finding time to deal with all of this. I have been asking God for the help I need to battle all of this, and I know the nicotine addiction is a stronghold that will not go away until He delivers me from it. I have been asking Him a lot lately for this, but I was scared to death of hitting rock bottom and losing my family, so I actually prayed to God for a heart of repentance before rock bottom came.
I have a heart problem

I have tried to quit nicotine/self medication my entire marriage but have never been able to kick it for good.

My wife and I have a great relationship, but with any addictions, I have hid things from her, lied to her about nicotine usage and broken trust.

Friday night I had a legit medical emergency related to a new anti depressant. She thought I had self medicated with a hard drug and I think I scared her, she thought I was going to die. I basically lost my motor skills and was slurring, stumbling, etc. She called my buddy that came and got me and I have not seen her since. I had been self medicating with marijuana occasionally late at night when my mind wouldn't slow down. I should have been praying. During the course of this, she found it and was beyond upset at that as well. I'll never touch it again but the damage was done.

I reached out to her for the first time last night (She worked Sat-Monday) so I knew she hadn't had time to process so I waited until yesterday, but she asked me to work on divorce paperwork. She is a strong Christian and we have always said divorce isn't ever an option. I have been holding out hope that she just needs some time, but she will forgive me. Now I am sitting here praying as much as I can at work and trying to hold it together. We have been married for over 20 years (good years) and I know that God works for our good and he would never desire divorce. I know that ultimately everything will work out, but the thought of not having my best friend with me anymore is the hardest thing I have ever faced.

I've lurked on this forum quite a bit but never posted. I am desperate for prayers of reconciliation and that He is indeed sharpening both me and the relationship and we will come out stronger than every (One kid is 19, the other is 16, so sort of a transitional period of our relationship as it is.) I am desperate for prayers for strength, wisdom and peace as well for both us and the kids.

Thank you for reading, I think I needed to get it out. I would greatly appreciate any and all prayers for my relationship with God, my marriage and that Jesus deals with whatever wound I have inside me that has caused all of this pain (addiction, depression) for my family.

 

[Pop D.]

Heavenly Father, we pray You will deliver Treewolf and his family from his addictions, mental issues, and bring about reconciliation, in the Name of Jesus, as only You can. Amen and Amen.

 

[Jo555]

Praying.

I would also suggest to surrounding yourself with uplifting people. You may want to listen to Joel Osteen too, who has his own network. He's very uplifting and his message is always hope and faith filled.

God has a good plan for your life, one where you will find fulfillment even in the midst of the trials in life. Ask Him to reveal your place in his body and work with Him to fulfill it.

Just some things for your prayerful consideration.

Praying.

 

[Treewolf]

Praying.

I would also suggest to surrounding yourself with uplifting people. You may want to listen to Joel Osteen too, who has his own network. He's very uplifting and his message is always hope and faith filled.

God has a good plan for your life, one where you will find fulfillment even in the midst of the trials in life. Ask Him to reveal your place in his body and work with Him to fulfill it.

Just some things for your prayerful consideration.

Praying.

Thank you. I have been talking to my strongest Christian friends and gaining counsel from them. I would be in an even darker place without them right now. I don't think my wife has been seeking out advice though, she is probably only getting it from the other nurses at the hospital she works at and I know "sanctity of marriage" didn't come up

 

[Jo555]

Thank you. I have been talking to my strongest Christian friends and gaining counsel from them. I would be in an even darker place without them right now. I don't think my wife has been seeking out advice though, she is probably only getting it from the other nurses at the hospital she works at and I know "sanctity of marriage" didn't come up

I'd say pray and give her time to process what is going on. Sometimes we need space from others to heal from any ill-feelings we may be dealing with and pressures we may be feeling.

Just an advice, I wouldn't throw the bible at her because God is an intimate God and his Spirit is a live force in our lives. The knowledge of scripture alone in the sense of "I have to do this because that is what scripture says" will not touch her heart and may actually make her bitter. And not saying you are doing this, but it can also be used as a form of manipulation. God is a real and relational Spirit that wants to engage us on an intimate level.

Give her the time and space she needs. Don't make her feel bad or guilty for needing that. Let her know you understand, if you do. Take responsibility for your part with her as you have done here, then let God work.

Once trust is broken, it often takes time to repair, but this is nothing for God, just let Him work.

 

[Treewolf]

I'd say pray and give her time to process what is going on. Sometimes we need space from others to heal from any ill-feelings we may be dealing with and pressures we may be feeling.

Just an advice, I wouldn't throw the bible at her because God is an intimate God and his Spirit is a live force in our lives. The knowledge of scripture alone in the sense of "I have to do this because that is what scripture says" will not touch her heart and may actually make her bitter. And not saying you are doing this, but it can also be used as a form of manipulation. God is a real and relational Spirit that wants to engage us on an intimate level.

Give her the time and space she needs. Don't make her feel bad or guilty for needing that. Let her know you understand, if you do. Take responsibility for your part with her as you have done here, then let God work.

Once trust is broken, it often takes time to repair, but this is nothing for God, just let Him work.

I appreciate the advice, I wouldn't ever throw it at her. She knows the Bible and what God says about marriage is so you are very right, she would feel attacked (and manipulated).

 

[Jo555]

I appreciate the advice, I wouldn't ever throw it at her. She knows the Bible and what God says about marriage is so you are very right, she would feel attacked (and manipulated).

I can't tell you how many times in past I was treated poorly, then when I needed space they come with scriptures regarding the bible says we need to forgive and such.

God had to teach me that forgiveness is given freely, but trust is earned.

And no condemnation if we have to go through the process of forgiveness.

I just went through the most scariest situation in my life, and still there in ways. I wanted a solution and direction asap as the fear was mounting and the exterior voices were piling it on, as if the situation wasn't enough. God really just kept on me about working on my fears with Him. He taught me that fear will open doors to other forces robbing you from hearing from Him, and what He has equipped you with to overcome in Christ.

I prayed, i read his word, i listened to Joel Osteen as the Lord years ago gave me a "heads up" that this season in my life was coming, and Joel Osteen was featured in it, so I put him on and it made perfect sense because although I may not agree with everything he says exactly (rarely do with anyone), I felt his message was really on target, basically not focusing on the problem, but on God because He is leading us to some place good. This I knew, but it helps to hear it when you need it, especially when the dark clouds begin to roll in to block out the sun / Son.

So that would be an additional advice I would give. During this time, work on your fears and worries about your future, including your marriage. Let God grow your faith in Him and remove the spirit of fear in your life and replace it with his love, peace, and sound mind. Don't focus on the problem, but the solution.

I can't even begin to tell you how bad my fear was and seemed like a nearly impossible thing to overcome, but He specializes in the impossible and it really didn't take too long for Him to replace my fear with the peace that passes all understanding. We can fight it by insisting in having our way, but let Him guide you in his love.

 

[Treewolf]

I can't tell you how many times in past I was treated poorly, then when I needed space they come with scriptures regarding the bible says we need to forgive and such.

God had to teach me that forgiveness is given freely, but trust is earned.

And no condemnation if we have to go through the process of forgiveness.

I just went through the most scariest situation in my life, and still there in ways. I wanted a solution and direction asap as the fear was mounting and the exterior voices were piling it on, as if the situation wasn't enough. God really just kept on me about working on my fears with Him. He taught me that fear will open doors to other forces robbing you from hearing from Him, and what He has equipped you with to overcome in Christ.

I prayed, i read his word, i listened to Joel Osteen as the Lord years ago gave me a "heads up" that this season in my life was coming, and Joel Osteen was featured in it, so I put him on and it made perfect sense because although I may not agree with everything he says exactly (rarely do with anyone), I felt his message was really on target, basically not focusing on the problem, but on God because He is leading us to some place good. This I knew, but it helps to hear it when you need it, especially when the dark clouds begin to roll in to block out the sun / Son.

So that would be an additional advice I would give. During this time, work on your fears and worries about your future, including your marriage. Let God grow your faith in Him and remove the spirit of fear in your life and replace it with his love, peace, and sound mind. Don't focus on the problem, but the solution.

I can't even begin to tell you how bad my fear was and seemed like a nearly impossible thing to overcome, but He specializes in the impossible and it really didn't take too long for Him to replace my fear with the peace that passes all understanding. We can fight it by insisting in having our way, but let Him guide you in his love.

Thank you very much for sharing! I definitely need to let go of the fear/anxiety and learn how to lay it at Jesus' feet. And God was aware of this, as Ive been asking for the help to learn to trust and rely on Him alone among other specific things. I just didn't know the help would be so extreme!

 

[Treewolf]

I can't tell you how many times in past I was treated poorly, then when I needed space they come with scriptures regarding the bible says we need to forgive and such.

God had to teach me that forgiveness is given freely, but trust is earned.

And no condemnation if we have to go through the process of forgiveness.

I just went through the most scariest situation in my life, and still there in ways. I wanted a solution and direction asap as the fear was mounting and the exterior voices were piling it on, as if the situation wasn't enough. God really just kept on me about working on my fears with Him. He taught me that fear will open doors to other forces robbing you from hearing from Him, and what He has equipped you with to overcome in Christ.

I prayed, i read his word, i listened to Joel Osteen as the Lord years ago gave me a "heads up" that this season in my life was coming, and Joel Osteen was featured in it, so I put him on and it made perfect sense because although I may not agree with everything he says exactly (rarely do with anyone), I felt his message was really on target, basically not focusing on the problem, but on God because He is leading us to some place good. This I knew, but it helps to hear it when you need it, especially when the dark clouds begin to roll in to block out the sun / Son.

So that would be an additional advice I would give. During this time, work on your fears and worries about your future, including your marriage. Let God grow your faith in Him and remove the spirit of fear in your life and replace it with his love, peace, and sound mind. Don't focus on the problem, but the solution.

I can't even begin to tell you how bad my fear was and seemed like a nearly impossible thing to overcome, but He specializes in the impossible and it really didn't take too long for Him to replace my fear with the peace that passes all understanding. We can fight it by insisting in having our way, but let Him guide you in his love.

and I am sorry for how poorly you were treated in the name of Jesus.

 

[Jo555]

and I am sorry for how poorly you were treated in the name of Jesus.

It's ok, but thank you. It was a good learning experience. Learning isn't always fun, but always beneficial as He teaches us.

You and your marriage are in my prayers.

 

[RileyG]

Loving God, holy is your name, surround this man with your loving presence, holy angels, and fill him with your abundant grace. Take away al of his worries, anxieties, and fears, and give him a deep sense of peace in your presence. In the name of Christ I pray. Amen!