please pray

[Susan]

I cannot meet the math requirements necessary to get my high school diploma. I've tried studying it, but I don't have the intelligence to understand algebra or the Pythagorean theorem and I'm possibly borderline autistic.

The problem is that my parents either wanted me to be married or to get a college education and a good job. Since I look horrible and have bad homemaking skills, my chance of finding someone foolish enough to marry someone worthless like me is less than one percent.

My chances of finding a good job are limited, because even though I have average or better than average ability in other subjects (science, social studies, English and writing, literature comprehension, Bible except for verse memory, and others), I can only do basic addition and subtraction by memory.

I can do higher numbers in addition and subtraction on paper, but that's it. Basically the only math I know well is just enough to calculate age as compared to years (I use that in my writing) and to win in the RPGs I play (like you can't have 1000 subtracted every 30 seconds from 500 if you want to see anything but the game over screen, LOL).

My only hope of doing anything other than a "retarded job" (like watering plants, packing boxes, that sort of thing) or living with my sister as a dependent on her was to get an education. Now that is gone.   

I have no reason to even live anymore.

 

 

[Mr.Cheese]

*hug*

( Just a note from Holly, Mr.Cheeses wife, have you tried Sylvan Learning Center? They should be able to help. It's okay if you don't get your diploma when you're done with all the other schooling! *hug*)

 

[Auntie]

Susan, sweety! You have got to get a better opinion of yourself! You've got tons of good stuff going for you, so concentrate on the good stuff!

#1- YOU ARE PRETTY

#2- YOU ARE INTELLIGENT

#3- YOU HAVE A GREAT PERSONALITY

#4- GOD LOVES YOU

#5- GOD HAS GREAT PLANS FOR YOUR LIFE!

 

[Susan]

I'm 18 BTW, 19 on November 30.
I don't want to be in a class with 100 6 year olds. . .

 

[Susan]

#1- YOU ARE PRETTY

Yeah, right. And Chihuahuas have wings, LOL. . .Have you ever seen my profile photo?

#2- YOU ARE INTELLIGENT
That is an even better laugh. I don't even know enough math to graduate from high school. LOL

#3- YOU HAVE A GREAT PERSONALITY
Yeah, if your idea of "great personality" is based on. . .never mind.

 

[psycmajor]

Come now. Could you explain how you're not intelligent enough to understand math? How hard have you tried? Have you seeked out help, such as a tutor? Does the teacher(s) know you're having difficulty? Before diagnosing yourself as "borderline autistic," have yourself tested by the school to see what your strengths and weaknesses are. It may or may not be true that there is something wrong with your brain. Do not assume; find out. If you believe that there is nothing you can do about it, then of course you are going to feel hopeless. I'm not convinced that this situation is beyond help.

Being a wife is more than just looking good and cooking well. Your worth should not be measured like that. Any "man" who is that superficial and holds tradition that highly is not worth your time, and you will probably not feel satisfied in the marriage, anyway (depending on how much you stick with tradition). It really is what's on the inside that counts. "Looks" fade. Your personality and brains last much longer. A man who loves you for those qualities will make you happy.

Until something is found that shows that you indeed have a disability, I would encourage you to practice math whenever you can. Get a study buddy, and/or someone that will hold you accountable.

You aren't slime and never have been. Stop telling yourself that.

Let me tell you something. In college so far, I've retaken 2 math courses. Two different math courses. It was because my grade was lower than a "C." So I retook them, and got a C or higher on both (I forget the exact grades). The point is, I did it. There were certain circumstances in one case, but anyway... There's a course that I have to take again, but it's not math. I got a D- in it. Everyone does poorly in that class. But I still have to take that course or one similar to it to make up for that D-. And I will start towards that effort in less than a week. This summer, I thought that I would have to take a 3rd math course for the second time. I felt pretty bad about myself and was upset. But I was willing to do it again in another month and a half. Fortunately, the problem was with the teacher's grading, so I won't have to take it again. The official go-ahead for the teacher's assistant to change my grade (the professor said it was okay to do so) is still pending, but it will happen.

You only fail when you give up. You're only 18. Give God some time, and do your part as well to meet Him halfway.

PS> I don't think that success is necessarily measured in education. I think it's measured in how many lives you touch and the number of people you help. Our common suicidal friend (you know who) felt very uplifted when you publicly voiced concern for them, and they were grateful that you cared so much. Does that not mean anything? Works won't get you to heaven, but it will make your life feel worthwhile.

 

[Susan]

BTW I was homeschooled. I've never gone to a "normal" school since 1st grade because my parents wanted me to have a Christian education, and I didn't do good in the school setting as a little kid. . .and by the time I finally got enough social skills to be considered something more than the boring, bossy nerd that I was even at that age, I didn't care.

 

[psycmajor]

Okay. So what are you thinking now?

 

[Susan]

I know success is not measured by education. However I need to know something more than packing boxes or other "retard work" to support myself in my missions work. Also, no one reads writers with no credentials.
Also, my parents insist on my being graduated from high school and on getting some college education if I'm not getting married.

 

[psycmajor]

That does ring of truth.

Remember, it's easier to make excuses for ourselves than to change our attitudes.

Have you REALLY milked your options dry? I'm not convinced that you've done so and tried as hard as you could have, sorry...

[edit:] Things will not just fall into your hands, as nice as that would be for all of us.

[edit2:] I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and am now taking Adderall. Since I was a pre-teen, I have had difficulties staying focused. It is really hard for me sometimes. And I'm Bipolar, with some interesting mood swings and such (medication has stabilized me a great deal). If I can do it with those handicaps, you can too.

 

[will_wait4Him]

God has a plan and a partner for every single one of us. Don't think you'll find it right away, it may come tomorrow, it may come in a year or more. Have patience. Are you a Christian? If so, then if you can wait for our Lord and Savior to come, then you can wait for the one.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Susan, have you tried looking into a tutor as someone mentioned? That way, you could have one on one help instead of being in a larger group.

Hey, we all have some areas that we are not great in. But we have other areas we excel in. God gives us all different gifts and abilities. Maybe getting a tutor will help you pass your GED and then when you get to college (if that is truly what you want to do) you can take classes that emphasize your strong points. And it isn't a bad thing to even have a tutor in college to help with the rough subjects. What about vocational school? Many different trade skills are taught there. Or if you want to do missions, what about the Peace Corps? Susan, you have all kinds of options. Just let God take the gifts and abilities He has given you and let Him lead you in what He has for you. As Auntie Bell Um said, God has great plans for your life!

I'll be praying for God to open your eyes and your heart to the possibilites He has for you. You just might be amazed where He will lead!

P.S. I agree with psycmajor-you are not slime!

 

[Auntie]

wvmtnkid,

I really really like your signature!