Please pray for us :(

Zhen

Active Member
Feb 21, 2019
170
204
Singapore
✟31,863.00
Country
Singapore
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Christian
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Single
Hello everyone :/

I’m not sure if you remember my story, but i was raised in a dysfunctional, non-Christian family.

After I first went to church and walked with God ten over years ago, my family and i began getting attacked by satan, and my home was getting wrecked by third parties and my dad’s adultery. My family became very hostile towards me, and seemed to hate me. I was also bullied by people in school and felt worthless. My family also restricted me a lot and tried to control my life, including where i worked. I wasn’t able to do what i wanted to do and ended up feeling lost, and worthless.

at the same time my dad began emotionally abusing me and made me feel like i could not even breathe or make a sound or he would get angry with me. i felt so trapped at home, and gave up on myself. I wanted to die many times but did not in case i traumatized my family. Instead, i chose slow suicide by neglecting myself. My dad was also watching inappropriate contentography alot and looked at me strangely when i was growing up so i felt unsafe. i thought that if i neglected taking care of myself, that he would get turned off by me and i would be safe.

my walk with God was also very short lived. i was plagued by thoughts that God was not real and only in my imagination, after a close guy friend i met in school rejected Jesus as i shared Jesus with him. that guy friend made Jesus and God seem unreal and rejected Jesus cos he wanted someone tangible instead. i ended up getting influenced by him. i then had thoughts that i had to play God and save the world, that i had to do Gods work then give Him the glory. I began focusing on people around me to ‘save’ them but ended up only getting hated and after having received so much hate, ended up hating people, God and myself.

i was in a severe state of depression when my mom suggested that a relationship might help. She wanted to introduce me to a guy from my dads workplace. i later came across an ex classmates facebook profile, and he was working at my dads company too, and as the same designation as the guy my mom wanted to introduce me to.

i wondered if he was the one, so i gave it a shot and contacted him. he replied, we talked, and i grew attached to him. i also began to see a future with him, that he could help me out of the situation i was in. i ended up abandoning God for him when God told me he wasnt the one for me after a while of our re acquaintance.

i had already seen hope in my relationship with him, and thought that being with him could give me a purpose in life (that i could have someone to care for), and that i could feel safer as well.

After i left God for him, i heard God tell me that He would use me to bring him and another girl together. What transpired after that, was that as i continued to go out with him, i began seeing that he was not really nice. At the same time, he was going out with someone else but lied about it and said many strange things that confused me.

i wanted to stop seeing him so i thought that i could use the reason that he was seeing another girl he liked, to leave him. but as i brought this up to him, he would deny that he was seeing her. it was confusing and i wanted to know the truth so much that i ended up adding the girl on facebook to find out. at the same time she looked like a nice person so i thought she could be a potential friend too. after i contacted her for a while, she suddenly turned from honest and friendly, to dishonest and guarded. Initially she said she had been contacting that guy too, but after a while insisted on the same story as that guy, that she had not been contacting him since she left his company. i trusted in her since she looked like a nice person, so i felt hurt and confused when she suddenly lied.

i wanted to find out the truth so much that i turned to things like astrology and online tarot to get my answers, cos i could not get the truth from them. i ended up getting influenced by these sources a lot, and after i found out that the guy n girl went overseas and likely were intimate together, i felt so betrayed that i used God’s word against them. i also made it seem like God was watching them and that if they did not stop sinning, that they would suffer consequences. God showed me that i turned them away from Him and wanted me to stop, but i was adamant i was doing the right thing. i thought i was correcting them. at the same time i also felt like getting back at them, especially the guy, as he had been playing the field between the girl and me, lying to the both of us, one to get sex from me, and another to be with her.

i felt so betrayed that i did a lot of wrong things, also while under the influence of astrology. God later showed me that because of my actions, i turned them away from God cos they were afraid God would punish them, and that they rebelled against Him and hated Him :(

I did not mean for this to happen.

I just wanted to correct them and get them to stop sinning. at the same time i was angry and wanted to get back at them ><
but things became horrible.

after they were afraid that i would hurt the girl, they started turning to the occult to attack me, and subsequently, my family. God initially showed me ways to bring them back to Him, but i was afraid to, unsure, lacking in faith, and influenced by other things, so i did not do as i was told :/

instead when i was severely under attack, i tried to make them stop by messaging them bible verses, but God showed me that i only ended up misleading them down the path of destruction :/ that because of this, that He would cause them to want to destroy me and my family :/

i started to see them curse my family. and see omens.

i really need help in bringing them back to God cos im afraid that bad things might happen to me and my family if i dont :(

can mature believers help me ask God how i can bring them back?

i am also estranged from God now and under severe spiritual attacks :( i really need the help of mature believers to pray for the protection of my family, as well as solutions on how to bring the guy and girl back to Him...

I would really appreciate it a lot.