Please pray for me

[authoress26]

Hello,

My name is Angela, and I'm new to this group. I posted an intro in the coffee shop thread. I just received my diagnosis at the end of February, and I've just barely started processing everything and trying to come to terms with my diagnosis. I have known for years that I struggle with depression, trichotillomania, and ocd/body dysmorphic disorder.

The medication I am on currently is 900 mg. trileptal and 5 mg. saphris (asenapine). I have been on these medications since my first diagnosis in late February, though I have been increased on the trileptal. Within the first week, I noticed a big difference in the stability of my mood and my energy level. I was no longer tired all the time during the day, I didn't feel so depressed, and my feelings didn't feel so tender and "out there" all the time. It was a good feeling. However, beginning about two weeks ago, a lot of anxiety started kicking in. I would have a racing heart and irregular heartbeats pretty frequently.

Last Sunday, almost two weeks ago, I had a full blown panic attack. I felt my heart beating irregularly, and convinced myself that I was having a heart attack and I was going to black out. At the time, I was traveling by myself back from a friend's house on the ferry. I'd had an emotional day with her, and this may have been a trigger. Later that week, on Tuesday and Thursday, I went into panic modes that lasted for several hours. I felt my heart beating irregularly, and my anxiety kicking up, and I could not talk myself down. I could feel the anxiety in waves in my stomach. I had constant anxiety before these meds, but it didn't feel like this.

I calmed down over the weekend, but today has been a bad day for me. This is also my first week with my trileptal increased to 900 mg. Previously it was 750 mg. Do you think my anxiety and the trileptal could be in any way related? Note that I have also been a hypochondriac since I was a child, and it doesn't take much to convince myself that I'm developing neuroleptic malignant syndrome from my anti-psychotic (saphris) or having mini-strokes from my trileptal. I see my psychiatrist next Monday, but she has a cell phone number I can contact her on. Do you think this could be my body and brain reacting to getting adjusted to all of this new medication?

I also have a lot of stressors in my life right now, and one of the biggest ones is that I am on my parents' medical insurance, and my coverage expires on May 30th, 2011, when I turn 26. My parents are not financially well-off at all, and have said that getting health insurance for me, even if it's only $80, is something they cannot afford. I will be looking for work, and have been, but there is no guarantee that I will find a job in time. I have been praying to God that if this is from Him, he would help me work it out. I'm really worried because I know these meds can be dangerous, and I don't want to suddenly stop taking them when my insurance runs out and lose my chances at stability. Any prayers and advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

 

[Alive again]

Hello,

My name is Angela, and I'm new to this group. I posted an intro in the coffee shop thread. I just received my diagnosis at the end of February, and I've just barely started processing everything and trying to come to terms with my diagnosis. I have known for years that I struggle with depression, trichotillomania, and ocd/body dysmorphic disorder.

The medication I am on currently is 900 mg. trileptal and 5 mg. saphris (asenapine). I have been on these medications since my first diagnosis in late February, though I have been increased on the trileptal. Within the first week, I noticed a big difference in the stability of my mood and my energy level. I was no longer tired all the time during the day, I didn't feel so depressed, and my feelings didn't feel so tender and "out there" all the time. It was a good feeling. However, beginning about two weeks ago, a lot of anxiety started kicking in. I would have a racing heart and irregular heartbeats pretty frequently.

Last Sunday, almost two weeks ago, I had a full blown panic attack. I felt my heart beating irregularly, and convinced myself that I was having a heart attack and I was going to black out. At the time, I was traveling by myself back from a friend's house on the ferry. I'd had an emotional day with her, and this may have been a trigger. Later that week, on Tuesday and Thursday, I went into panic modes that lasted for several hours. I felt my heart beating irregularly, and my anxiety kicking up, and I could not talk myself down. I could feel the anxiety in waves in my stomach. I had constant anxiety before these meds, but it didn't feel like this.

I calmed down over the weekend, but today has been a bad day for me. This is also my first week with my trileptal increased to 900 mg. Previously it was 750 mg. Do you think my anxiety and the trileptal could be in any way related? Note that I have also been a hypochondriac since I was a child, and it doesn't take much to convince myself that I'm developing neuroleptic malignant syndrome from my anti-psychotic (saphris) or having mini-strokes from my trileptal. I see my psychiatrist next Monday, but she has a cell phone number I can contact her on. Do you think this could be my body and brain reacting to getting adjusted to all of this new medication?

I also have a lot of stressors in my life right now, and one of the biggest ones is that I am on my parents' medical insurance, and my coverage expires on May 30th, 2011, when I turn 26. My parents are not financially well-off at all, and have said that getting health insurance for me, even if it's only $80, is something they cannot afford. I will be looking for work, and have been, but there is no guarantee that I will find a job in time. I have been praying to God that if this is from Him, he would help me work it out. I'm really worried because I know these meds can be dangerous, and I don't want to suddenly stop taking them when my insurance runs out and lose my chances at stability. Any prayers and advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

Welcome to the forum. My prayers are going up as I type. I have found that anxiety can be a part of this illness. Had to take some anxiolytics for awhile and then found some herbal items that my doc thought would be safe to take and have helped me. I am also facing the possibility of losing insurance as my hubby is losing his job. You can look into patient assistance program for your meds.

 

[Christownsme]

The irregular heart beats are something you can't hardly produce from anxiety unless the medicine is doing it. I would definitely call and try some other medicine.

I was on Seroquel for a while, like probably a year. At the end of the year I started having irregular heart beats and fast rythyms. I couldn't have done that with anxiety if I tried.

My prayers and love goes out to you.

 

[mum24]

Anxiety sucks. I'm praying for you tonight. I'd call the dr and explain everything. They are there to listen and to help. This is a new psychiatric or pharmacologic symptom and the doc will figure out which. Or if it's a medical symptom they'll deal with that too. In any case anxiety is debilitating.
In the meantime if you have a bible with a concordance, look up fear.... There are so many amazing calming verses that God speaks to us in His word about fear. It's in there so much. He knows that we have fear. He wants us to know that he is our comfort.
Prayers

 

[LifebyChrist]

Hello, I am really intrested in giving you some advice so please try to bear with me and read this if you can.

I am taking a college course on health right now, and my health books says "Stress may be one of the single greatest contributors to mental disability and emotional dysfunction in industrialized nations."

Now of course this is not scripture but now let me show you some scripture, namely from the book of Galatians (NIV version)

Galatians 3:3 "Are you so foolish? After beginning by means of the Spirit, are you now trying to finish by means of the flesh?"

Galatians 3:5 "So again I ask, does God give you his Spirit and work miracles among you by the works of the law, or by your believing what you heard?"

Please disregard the foolish sentiment, what I am trying to convey is faith versus works.

God's grace is not something that you earn, it is not something that you can brag about.

Galatians 3:10 "For all who rely on the works of the law are under a curse, as it is written: “Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do everything written in the Book of the Law."

Galatians 5:1 "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

Galatians 5:2 "Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all."

Galatians 5:13 "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love."

Galatians 5:14 "For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself."

Galatians 5:15 "If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other."

Galatians 6:13 "Not even those who are circumcised keep the law, yet they want you to be circumcised that they may boast about your circumcision in the flesh."

Not even the circumcised keep the law it is written

Romans 3:10 "As it is written: "There is no one righteous, not even one;"

This is in no way a license to just go do whatever you want but look what Paul said in Galatians 5:13 You are called to be free.

What does this mean? You are called to be free from all your stress and anxiety, you are called to be free from all of your mental and emotional problems as well as your psychological problems.

I say this because what I notice about your posts is, I read your coffee shop post too, I noticed that your struggles seem to be more emotional and mental, not exactly physical or circumstances but it seems to start manifesting itself in other areas too.

Galatians 5:9 "A little yeast works through the whole batch of dough."

What I mean is your emotional problems can be manifesting themselves into physical illness and stressors, weakening your immunity system and this could keep you from working or doing all the things that you would have liked to do. This is why all aspects of health are important, not just one area.

The same thing with the Body of Christ.

1 Corinthians 12:17 "If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?"

1 Corinthians 12:18 "But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be."

So what can you do now? You have been praying to God, good this is what you should be doing. Because it is by faith.

I am sure if you could hear Jesus then this is what Jesus would say

Luke 7:50 "Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

Because you have faith in God and you come to God for refuge, it is written,

Psalm 2:12 "Kiss the Son, lest he be angry and you be destroyed in your way, for his wrath can flare up in a moment. Blessed are all who take refuge in him."

Blessed are those who take refuge in him. So if you are turning to God, then you have come to the right place. God will heal you of your sickness by faith, you don't have to kill yourself trying to be perfect, take care of your needs. It can be summed up in this.

Galatians 5:14 "The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

What does loving your neighbor mean? It means if you want a friend, then be a friend. It means if you see someone who looks like they are hurting, stop by and say hello. Ask how your friends are doing, volunteer, just make time to socialize with other people, it may be hard for some people, I myself am not exactly a social butterfly but I still try to be a friend. You don't have to be perfect, in fact no one is perfect except Jesus Christ and we are made right by our faith, that does not mean we just do whatever we want, but it means if we did sin we don't have to beat ourselves up for it because God has forgiven us, you have to find balance in your life and make sure what your doing is for God and not for the wrong reasons.

Matthew 15:9 "They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.'"

If you still need some clarifacation, I strongly recommend you read the book of Galatians, not a very long book and it is quite good. If you want even more to read then I suggest you hit the book of James, both books are not that long.

Also if your intrested in reading the Gospel, reading the book of Mark is a good way to start. It is the shortest of all the Gospels and I like to call it the OCD Gospel, because it tends to use the word immediately alot, is the shortest Gospel and was written for the Romans who were soldiers, so sort of all action.

Luke is a bit more detailed orientated as Luke was a doctor, Matthew has a strong focus on old testament, and John is sort of like a best friend perspective of Jesus. I hope this helps you get the most out of your Bible and prayers, thank you for reading this and I hope you overcome this stress!

It may also help you to try exercising, for example you can try to walk 10,000 steps a day, do some stretches, lift weights twice a week and go running or swimming every once in a while. If 10,000 steps is too much for you try 5,000 or anything you feel comfortable doing.

 

[jsrdrnr]

Hey and welcome. I know what anxiety feels like. I will be praying for you. Sometimes panic attacks happen as we are getting used to the meds and a new way of life. I would probably put in a call to the doc and get his/her take on it just to be sure though. You dont want to trade one problem for another.

 

[SinkingShip]

Welcome to the forum.
Anxiety disorders are often comorbid with bipolar (I'm a Type II). I was having major anxiety and frequent panic attacks until I started on Luvox and Lorazepam, you may want to consider talking to your Dr about going on some anti-anxiety medication. Anxiety is an incredible stressor in-and-of its self and for me it can actually trigger a depressive cycle, I think you'll find you need to treat the anxiety also to fully treat the bipolar.

 

[authoress26]

Thank you for all of the replies everyone. Having the irregular heartbeat, where it is one big beat rather than two smaller ones, is definitely an anxiety symptom for me. This, and the rolling waves of anxiety, have definitely calmed down for me the last few days. My doctor put me on 1.5 mg. of Klonopin a day, and this has helped me a lot with that. I think a lot of it is getting used to everything feeling so differently. I am not used to my mind being quiet and not full of racing, interconnected thoughts. I miss that feeling at times.

I have gone off of my antipsychotic (Saphris) because I was freaking out about various muscle twitches. I think that my doctor thought I was developing tardive dyskinesia because she had me stop taking it right away and started me on the Klonopin. I am still having twitches, however, and it may just be normal for me and/or related to my anxiety.

My insurance coverage ends on May 31st, 2011. Does anyone have any advice for me in this situation? I have my last day of my 5 hr./week job this Wednesday, and then I will be looking for work. Does anyone know anywhere besides McDonald’s that is always hiring? I have heard that Walmart is a good option. My Trileptal costs $400 for a 3 month supply without insurance. This is something my parents and I can’t afford, unless I miraculously find a job of at least 20 hours/week in between now and May 31st. The cheapest insurance that I have found in my state is $120 a month, not including prescription costs, and there is a 9 month waiting period for preexisting conditions. I think prescriptions are covered in this waiting period, however. I am looking into applying for DSHS Medical, but there will probably be a gap in coverage before I qualify for this, if I am eligible. I am already receiving food stamps, which I use to help my family out because I can’t pay rent.

I don’t know if it’s a good idea to apply for SSI because I plan to have an active working life in the near future, and am hoping to move out from my parents’ house within the next couple of years. I also know that the application process takes forever, and people are often denied. I graduated with my Bachelor’s Degree in June 2009, but because of economic conditions and deep depression, I have never worked more than 20 hours/week except for a temporary job in December 2009. Please pray that I will be willing and able to take any job that comes my way in the next month. I am still so new with all of this, and a lot of times I feel like my life would be better if I never would have been diagnosed. Everything is so complicated and confusing right now, and I keep second-guessing that I am doing the right thing by being on medication. I am having trouble feeling God’s peace, and I’m still fighting that deeply ingrained belief of myself and others that I shouldn’t be having mood disorder problems/depression as a Christian. I still functioned before I was on bipolar meds, I was just always depressed and anxious at the same time, and my anxiety was getting worse.

 

[Alive again]

This is a link for pt assistance programs for trileptal, you should be able to get meds free for awhile until you get an income. I have had one in the past that helped me for over a year. Novartis is the drug company that makes the medicine. You should not have to pay anything for this program at all!!!

https://www.rxhope.com/pap/info/paplist.aspx?drugid=709&fieldtype=drugid

https://www.rxhope.com/pap/info/paplist.aspx?drugid=709&fieldtype=drugid

 

[authoress26]

Thanks for the Trileptal patient assistance information, Alive again. I notice that we are both from the same area of the US. That's pretty cool. Thankfully, I was able to get cheap insurance through the state that starts on July 1st. One of my meds is still pretty expensive on there, but I contacted the company, and might be able to get some assistance.

I am now on 500 mg. Depakote as well as the 900 mg. Trileptal. I have been having a lot of depression and lethargy lately, and don't feel like my med combo is working that well. I see my doctor tomorrow, and one more time this month, but I'm feeling pretty discouraged.

 

[Live In Stereo]

I will be praying this all works out for you.