Please..I need your help with someone who wants to kill himself....

[Rising_Suns]

He is on this forum and has posted a thread in which he contemplates death. This child of God needs your help! Please give him support and love....anything you can do...pray for him to turn to God and build a new wonderfull foundation...

His name is Broken Machine.

His thread is; "Almost Gone".

 

[broken mach1ne]

You see, no one replied to this because no one cares.

 

[broken mach1ne]

I've tried to be optimistic, prayed to God and asked Him for forgiveness and to help me depart from evil. Tried to be kind and grateful. I've received nothing. I haven't felt any better. I had dreams I wanted to accomplish and I knew the only way I'd meet them would be through God and his wisdom. I prayed to God and I've been prayed for and I have not gotten better and actually worse. Everyday I tried to put a smile on my face and positive outlook in my mind but it never worked.

I then tried the religion of psychology. Tried to believe their idea's of just an imbalance in the brain. I toyed with that as much as I could; pushed myself to believe it. After the anti-depressants failed so did my desire to move on. I've been at that spot for about ten months now. Hating life day in and day out, cursing God for creating me and hating everyone and thing I laid my eyes on. I've been going in a circle the last past ten months with my stupid psychologist. We too have accomplished nothing in our sessions. He reaps his money while I sit there in front of him falling apart.

I try to blame myself and say that I am the problem and that I'm just not cooperating whereas I know I am and a 100% at that. I don't want to be an atheist nor do I want to hate God. I want to know why we long for this thing called happiness and why we would hurt others to get to it. I think there is more to life than happiness. I think I am living what is better than happiness in a true sense: misery. I've dissected life so much that I lost the big picture because I found it false. I didn't believe life was just about being happy because I found it selfish and meaningless.

I've surpassed pity and too found it meaningless as I have found everything meaningless: the seen and the unseen. If time is infinite, than what meaning can exist? There is no such thing as meaning. Just pleasure aimed toward ourselves and God. In eternity, heaven or hell, what meaning lies there other than those who are granted pleasure and those denied it? How can someone as corrupted as me be told to just listen and not ask why and live a happy life when I don't believe in happiness myself? I don't mean Christianity any disrespect but it just seems to come out me insulting it.

May God have mercy upon my soul.

 

[Susan]

 

[Josh777]

Mr.Machine You seem to want to label yourself and make yourself worse then the rest of us,im shure most of us have had the same doubts and feelings as you at some point in our lifes.You just have to Give your life to him 100% you cant expect all your problems to just go away but if you give him a chance and start trusting him you will see him move in your life.And just be happy that Jesus died for you!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Life has always been something I've had to fight. I don't let it beat me because I don't want to give it the satisfaction of beating me. I'll live to 100 just for spite.

 

[Rising_Suns]

Machine,

You're right in the part that there is more to life than just happiness. Life is about the struggles, the triumphs, the trials and tribulations, and everything in between. You are experiencing a side to life that is very real and very present. What you could learn from this, can help greatly in the future. The knowledge and wisdom that you can gain from your own trials will make you grow stronger. But make no mistake about it...the way you are going is a deadly downward spiral. It will get worse if you let it. There really is no point in life where you can hit rock bottom because everything can get worse. No matter how hopeless you feel, you must be persistent and keep your faith. It's clear you have faith, just hold onto it ok? Don't let that slip away or you will find yourself in a place that makes your current state look like mickey mouse in diseny land.

 

[daughter of the king]

we do care we all love you very much.

 

[KeepTheFaith15]

we love your broken machine, i wrote you a pm and never got one back. but we love you and we dont want you to harm yourself.

 

[Blessed-one]

come on, stand up man!
don't beat yourself down, this kind of attitude will not help and you know suicide won't help either. What do you face after death? the thing is you can't suicide after death, life is much better.
Have faith, life is so much better, you only need to find it.

um, have you read the book of Ecclesiastes? it may help.

 

[broken mach1ne]

Yes I have read Ecclesiastes many times.

 

[KeepTheFaith15]

*biiiiiiiiig hugs* we love you! jesus loves you!

 

[Rising_Suns]

Have you read any C.S. Lewis books?

"Screwtape letters" would be a good one for you to read. It's a fictional story about this high ranking devil (named Screwtape), and his student (named wormwood). In this book, Screwtape writes letters to wormwood instructing him on how to go about winning humans over for satan. It's quite interesting seeing the other side of the coin, and it's quite true also. You may be able to see how Satan's followers are picking at you. Give it a read.

P.S. "Mere Christianity" is another good one--one of his most popular I believe.

 

[GodOwnsMe]

wow..........I so care about you I'm almost in tears to just hear from you !! *hugs*

 

[GodOwnsMe]

hey... wow ..psychology... I guess how that would freak me out..
th reason why I'm 'always' talking about God (well to be honest it's not like I've always been thinking about that but you know what I mean )
is that he's so much smarter than I am (eh ) and ..wow when I once start thinking about life or 'meaning' without trusting in God I mostly get freaked... I won't ever see thru this so I'm just trusting in God to know exactly what he's doing all the time and to love me... I know it's not hard and there are times the uh.. negative thoughts and confusin kinda gets too much... it's just like a feeling but I know it's hard to trust just..... well I don't see thru stuff but God knows everything

you're very right it's not about happiness it's 'rather' or all about love.. ya know God is love....
God invented happiness so it's not a bad thing but............. whew.......

there's one thing that can 'fill and satisfy' you and thats God, love, his spirit just Him.
when you don't have that you'll be trying to fill it with something else, happiness, whatever. But thats not what it's about.

God's full of mercy for your soul !!
so glad you're just there and stuff
I'll be praying please don't give up !!!!

 

[Blessed-one]

God loves you, and we all love you.

don't give up the fight!

 

[broken mach1ne]

I can't take the madness any longer! The sexual desires, the hate, the aggravation, sadness, and failure. I can't think, sleep, eat or even go to school. I've decended even lower than I ever imagined and the thoughts are becoming worse and worse. For once I seek redemption but know it to be in vain. I made it ten miles high, can't tell my truth from my lies. My contemplation of suicide has reached new extents with even the actual plotting. Maybe I wish I could try.

It won't give up it wants me dead.

 

[GodOwnsMe]

wow *bug hugs* please don't give up !!

wow... I know I sometimes feel desperate about way little bad things....

just try to trust.......I'll so be praying for you......... if you can try to tell someone so they can just be there for you

God wants you alive and he won't give you up aswell............ whatever it is He's stronger than that.

I'm not exactly sure what you mean by redemptation.........but if that's a 'good thing' (salvation something like that ??) don't give it up...................
I know you'll always get to think about how nothing happened in the past but
there is a way out !!!!!!!

don't please don't I love you & God does !!

*hugs brokenmach1ne*

 

[4jc]

hey broken machine,
I your brother in Christ and I care for you. You say you can't sleep right? Well what do you do in your spare time? do you read alot? Cause if you do, here is a good book, Kenneth Hagin: The Triumhant Church. A real real good book.
If you really want help, try your pastor, or read any of Kenneth Hagins books. I'm telling ya, his knowledge is marvelous. His relationship with the Lord is great. He has a lot of good advice and tips.
I don't know what else to say except take care bro.
I'm Praying...

 

[4-low]

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