Please help.

[SkyBlade]

Well, according to my Exposure and Ritual Prevention therapy, I shouldn't be reassurance-seeking. But I can't take it anymore. It's possible I don't have OCD and was misdiagnosed. More importantly: I REALLY may not be a Christian.

I've been doubting God's existence on and off for several years. Even though I've been looking up evidence lately, I also have come across opposing arguments, and I'm actually doubting His existence MORE. I'll be doing a Christian thing or lying in bed at night when I worry that "What if God doesn't exist?", sending me into waves of fear. All my emotions scream that God doesn't exist and I'm tempted to quit Christianity (I know; it's deplorable). I weakly cry back that I'll never give up on God until the feelings fade. But I'm still tormented by the reality that I can never be sure that God exists (I know; this is also deplorable).

But what if I already have turned my back on God? Or maybe I wasn't saved in the first place. My faith is terrible; I keep worrying that God doesn't exist. What if I don't believe in Jesus?

I just messaged seven people about this; what I'm doing seems a bit...weird. Maybe I'm not asking people right, or I haven't done it enough. This time, for example, I should've mentioned that I'm doubting my salvation because I doubt God's existence. I messed up again! Each time I say, "This time it'll be different." Uncountable times later, I'm still here...

I just want to know I'm a Christian. I want to evangelize to my lost loved ones, but I keep thinking, "What if God doesn't exist and it's for nothing?"

Please pray and help.

 

[tienkhoanguyen]

Well, according to my Exposure and Ritual Prevention therapy, I shouldn't be reassurance-seeking. But I can't take it anymore. It's possible I don't have OCD and was misdiagnosed. More importantly: I REALLY may not be a Christian.

I've been doubting God's existence on and off for several years. Even though I've been looking up evidence lately, I also have come across opposing arguments, and I'm actually doubting His existence MORE. I'll be doing a Christian thing or lying in bed at night when I worry that "What if God doesn't exist?", sending me into waves of fear. All my emotions scream that God doesn't exist and I'm tempted to quit Christianity (I know; it's deplorable). I weakly cry back that I'll never give up on God until the feelings fade. But I'm still tormented by the reality that I can never be sure that God exists (I know; this is also deplorable).

But what if I already have turned my back on God? Or maybe I wasn't saved in the first place. My faith is terrible; I keep worrying that God doesn't exist. What if I don't believe in Jesus?

I just messaged seven people about this; what I'm doing seems a bit...weird. Maybe I'm not asking people right, or I haven't done it enough. This time, for example, I should've mentioned that I'm doubting my salvation because I doubt God's existence. I messed up again! Each time I say, "This time it'll be different." Uncountable times later, I'm still here...

I just want to know I'm a Christian. I want to evangelize to my lost loved ones, but I keep thinking, "What if God doesn't exist and it's for nothing?"

Please pray and help.

I know Jesus Christ exists! When I pray I get answers.

 

[rockytopva]

You don't have any trouble! All you need is faith in God! Wonderful testimonial of how this phrase was coined @ 8:00

 

[SkyBlade]

Thank you both

Are you saying I'm not a Christian, though? Please give me advice on that...

 

[pdudgeon]

Well, according to my Exposure and Ritual Prevention therapy, I shouldn't be reassurance-seeking. But I can't take it anymore. It's possible I don't have OCD and was misdiagnosed. More importantly: I REALLY may not be a Christian.

I've been doubting God's existence on and off for several years. Even though I've been looking up evidence lately, I also have come across opposing arguments, and I'm actually doubting His existence MORE. I'll be doing a Christian thing or lying in bed at night when I worry that "What if God doesn't exist?", sending me into waves of fear. All my emotions scream that God doesn't exist and I'm tempted to quit Christianity (I know; it's deplorable). I weakly cry back that I'll never give up on God until the feelings fade. But I'm still tormented by the reality that I can never be sure that God exists (I know; this is also deplorable).

But what if I already have turned my back on God? Or maybe I wasn't saved in the first place. My faith is terrible; I keep worrying that God doesn't exist. What if I don't believe in Jesus?

I just messaged seven people about this; what I'm doing seems a bit...weird. Maybe I'm not asking people right, or I haven't done it enough. This time, for example, I should've mentioned that I'm doubting my salvation because I doubt God's existence. I messed up again! Each time I say, "This time it'll be different." Uncountable times later, I'm still here...

I just want to know I'm a Christian. I want to evangelize to my lost loved ones, but I keep thinking, "What if God doesn't exist and it's for nothing?"

Please pray and help.

think about this:
What would you do if you were saved,
what if you haven't turned your back on God and Jesus,
and what would you do if you knew for sure that they (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) did in fact exist?

your doubt has put you in a prison of unbelief that is of your own making.
In fact the door to that prison is standing open for you,
but the choice to walk through that door and out of your captivity is yours to make.

so what one thing is necessary for you to see standing outside that door that would free you from the chains of unbelief and doubt?

 

[rockytopva]

Thank you both

Are you saying I'm not a Christian, though? Please give me advice on that...

You are a Christian... Your faith is under attack... I worry more about the dissipating faith more than anything else. Father I pray blessings on this request, healing of this condition, and for total restoration of faith and life in Jesus name I pray. Also taking these needs before God in prayer on the 4:00AM bbnradio.org Family Altar program.

 

[Tempura]

I've never had an OCD, but I've been through times of doubt. Some of them were tough and I was a wreck, the anxiety was through the roof. Couldn't even sleep.

And every time...after a while, I always realized the nature of faith. The nature of faith is different than knowledge. I know that in this life I will never KNOW, as in that I could lay it all down and prove it to everyone. I cannot know how many changes some scriptures have gone through, and sometimes I don't understand all of them. What I do know is that I have never met the kind of wisdom and comfort than what Christ represents for me.

One more thing. When I worried about these things, scrutinized scripture like I was obsessed, doubted so much, it was always God I turned to in the end. I asked for guidance and help for my unbelief. Remember the person, when Christ asked "do you believe I can do that for you", and the person answered "yes, help my unbelief". That is important, realizing that our faith isn't always that strong, and that it's okay to admit it to God. In that state, we realize our limits, our weakness and helplessness and we turn to the very God we are doubting, because we are drawn to Him. Sometimes we need to get a little lost in order to see the right paths, and sometimes we need to admit our weaknesses. That way, we become more honest and more humble, instead of wallowing inside the prisons we make for ourselves.

So freely admit it all to God and ask Him to help you with this. In time you will be stronger with your faith. It will be tested again, that's the case for all of us, but every time you will be stronger for it. And you will know when the bad feelings or tormenting thoughts come. Let them come and let them go, no need to panic. I'm not immune to it myself, but I'm stronger for what I've been through. Every time I just choose to have faith, like a child. WANTING to have faith, while realizing how weak I can be and how I much I really need God. In the end, it's about Christ and what He did and does, not about our own abilities. So freely go to Him with your troubles.

No need to lie to anyone - especially to God - about it. You don't have to pretend. I believe you are honest in your search.

Said a prayer for you, for guidance and comfort to come your way in time. One day at a time. Do not fear. God bless.

 

[AlexDTX]

Well, according to my Exposure and Ritual Prevention therapy, I shouldn't be reassurance-seeking. But I can't take it anymore. It's possible I don't have OCD and was misdiagnosed. More importantly: I REALLY may not be a Christian.

I've been doubting God's existence on and off for several years. Even though I've been looking up evidence lately, I also have come across opposing arguments, and I'm actually doubting His existence MORE. I'll be doing a Christian thing or lying in bed at night when I worry that "What if God doesn't exist?", sending me into waves of fear. All my emotions scream that God doesn't exist and I'm tempted to quit Christianity (I know; it's deplorable). I weakly cry back that I'll never give up on God until the feelings fade. But I'm still tormented by the reality that I can never be sure that God exists (I know; this is also deplorable).

But what if I already have turned my back on God? Or maybe I wasn't saved in the first place. My faith is terrible; I keep worrying that God doesn't exist. What if I don't believe in Jesus?

I just messaged seven people about this; what I'm doing seems a bit...weird. Maybe I'm not asking people right, or I haven't done it enough. This time, for example, I should've mentioned that I'm doubting my salvation because I doubt God's existence. I messed up again! Each time I say, "This time it'll be different." Uncountable times later, I'm still here...

I just want to know I'm a Christian. I want to evangelize to my lost loved ones, but I keep thinking, "What if God doesn't exist and it's for nothing?"

Please pray and help.

Eph 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Submit under to God and resist the devil and he will flee. James 4:7

You have the authority in Christ. God will not make the devil flee. You must resist him by remembering the Word of God and counter his lies with God's word (temptation of Jesus in the wilderness Matt 4).

 

[Lulav]

Thank you both

Are you saying I'm not a Christian, though? Please give me advice on that...

Concentrate on these words and Believe them!

Don't let the enemy deceive you or try to steal that from you, that's what those thoughts you are having are coming from. Remember Jesus himself was tempted, but did not succumb.

 

[pdudgeon]

Concentrate on these words and Believe them!

Don't let the enemy deceive you are try to steal that from you, that's what those thoughts you are having are coming from. Remember Jesus himself was tempted, but did not succumb.

^^^this is excellent!

 

[SkyBlade]

Thank you, everyone.

I've been fighting for years - still am. I'll keep fighting.

think about this:
What would you do if you were saved,
what if you haven't turned your back on God and Jesus,
and what would you do if you knew for sure that they (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) did in fact exist?

your doubt has put you in a prison of unbelief that is of your own making.
In fact the door to that prison is standing open for you,
but the choice to walk through that door and out of your captivity is yours to make.

so what one thing is necessary for you to see standing outside that door that would free you from the chains of unbelief and doubt?

I have some ideas, but I would really rather hear the answer from your mouth so I don't have to second-guess.

 

[Griswold]

Hello SkyBlade,

First, I thank God for what you are going through. Obviously it's not fun going through it but having gone through what you are dealing with, it comes down to this. God is faithful. You may feel unfaithful but you feeling unfaithful is in no way a condition for God's faithfulness. God's faithfulness to you depends 100% on Himself therefore it's always reliable and never fails (2 Timothy 2:13). God will make good on His Romans 8:28 promise, even this fiery ordeal that doesn't make since to you now (1 Peter 4:12).

Doubt: Doubt is not the same as unbelief. Doubt is questioning what one believes. Unbelief is choosing not to believe despite the evidence given. To quote Martin Luther, "only God and certain madmen have no doubts" for doubt is rooted in our humanness, because we do not have total knowledge there is always room to question what one believes. This is normal. To quote C.S. Lewis “The soul that has once been waked, or stung, or uplifted by the desire for God, will inevitably (I think) awake to the fear of losing Him.” It is out of this fear that we wish to make certain, therefore questions surface such as "does God actually exist", "how do I know I'm saved", "does God actually love me". Doubt actually testifies to faith as a person cannot doubt without first having an embodiment to stand it, that is a belief to question. For more information an extensive write-up on this subject can be found here. There is also a write-up there regarding OCD and how it relates.

OCD: For the person with OCD we feel that even if we could provide proof to answer every question that surfaces we would still question, we still doubt, even in the face of reasonable proof. The person with OCD has an interesting pitfall. They no longer trust their sight yet they walk by sight. Therefore in our OCD we make demands of our senses that they cannot provide answers too. I believe Job struggled with this. If you re-read the book of Job you will find you can relate to his anguish; Job knows the pain you feel in this struggle. God also answered Job in the last 4 chapters pointing out with authority Job's futility in relying on his own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5).

Feelings: Don't be surprised that you would have ill feelings toward God during this struggle. This is natural and again this does not affect God. You haven't let God down either, God exists outside of time and therefore He knows all that you've done, are doing, and will do and He still chose to call you. Your failure does not catch God off-guard. We feel God should be acting one way and He doesn't. We then are tempted to feel resentment and potentially bitterness. Let God know how you feel, He can take it. Consider Asaph the Psalmist and read Psalms 77. I suspect you may feel similar to how he felt as he pinned the first 10 verses.

Growth: Many "heroes of the faith" (Martin Luther, John Bunyan, C.S. Lewis, etc.) struggled similar to what you are describing. There is a reason, a good and perfect reason. There are many old testament examples as well as new testament examples of God's people having similar struggles. I won't claim to know what God's purpose is exactly in your life during this, but I will hold to scripture that reiterates God is faithful and since He is also good He will carry out His good purpose for you. Jesus came across many who needed reprogramming. Thank God He is faithful to His seekers to carry out just that!

I'm praying for you and I'm also thanking God for you.

It sucks to go through pruning, especially these long periods of it. But thank God He's willing to do what's best for us even when we ask Him not to.

 

[kane_watson55]

Well, according to my Exposure and Ritual Prevention therapy, I shouldn't be reassurance-seeking. But I can't take it anymore. It's possible I don't have OCD and was misdiagnosed. More importantly: I REALLY may not be a Christian.

I've been doubting God's existence on and off for several years. Even though I've been looking up evidence lately, I also have come across opposing arguments, and I'm actually doubting His existence MORE. I'll be doing a Christian thing or lying in bed at night when I worry that "What if God doesn't exist?", sending me into waves of fear. All my emotions scream that God doesn't exist and I'm tempted to quit Christianity (I know; it's deplorable). I weakly cry back that I'll never give up on God until the feelings fade. But I'm still tormented by the reality that I can never be sure that God exists (I know; this is also deplorable).

But what if I already have turned my back on God? Or maybe I wasn't saved in the first place. My faith is terrible; I keep worrying that God doesn't exist. What if I don't believe in Jesus?

I just messaged seven people about this; what I'm doing seems a bit...weird. Maybe I'm not asking people right, or I haven't done it enough. This time, for example, I should've mentioned that I'm doubting my salvation because I doubt God's existence. I messed up again! Each time I say, "This time it'll be different." Uncountable times later, I'm still here...

I just want to know I'm a Christian. I want to evangelize to my lost loved ones, but I keep thinking, "What if God doesn't exist and it's for nothing?"

Please pray and help.

Dont worry brother he definitely exists! after all the fool has said it in his heart that there is no god