Please Help

[Hermit7]

Hello,
I suffer from the specific OCD type known “scrupulosity”.

I know this may sound insane, but one of the obsessions that I suffer from is the fear that I lost my salvation. Personally, I firmly believe in the doctrine of once saved always saved, but despite my own belief, I’m constantly living in the fear of “what if?”

So for all of you out there, please bear with me, when I ask these questions:

1.) I had an OCD fit with locking and unlocking the car door while I was going out to lunch with co-workers. I then had a thought in my head that if I did not lock and unlock my car again before my co-workers got in the car, I would be dealing away my salvation. To say the least, I did let them in before I could lock and unlock my door. Because first off, a.) it would start looking weird and b.) I was just afraid that it would offend/startle my co-workers for me to just tell them to get out of the car so I could just do that ritual again. Did I just deal away my salvation?

2.) My youth leader asked me how my testimony with parents went. I had a thought in my head that if I told him that it was better than I expected then I would be dealing away my salvation. I told him that my testimony went better than expected, not just once, but twice (first time I told him, he didn’t hear me). Did I just deal away my salvation?
In Christ,
Hermit

 

[zingiber]

Hahaa! Well do I know these thoughts. Today they came to me on the way home; if I turned left and not right, or went right when I should go straight ahead, or if I didn't stop beside the road to look in a ditch, I would (my mind promised me) definitely be condemned to hell. I am sad to admit that I gave in a few times!

This is one of those cases where the truth is blindingly obvious, yet still the fear in our minds causes us to doubt what seems so simple. The only basis of salvation is Jesus' sacrifice; any other cause is not sufficient. What our OCD is essentially saying is 'Do this and you will save yourself (or "keep yourself saved")'. Such a thought does not match what Jesus said: 'For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.' We know that God alone is the source of our salvation, and he alone is the cause of our security.

You believe all of this, but it seems that, as always with OCD, the solution may be simple, but it is not easy. I am sure you know how to deal with these thoughts - accept that the thought is OCD, ignore it, and then focus on something else. Good luck to you on this - it sounds like you are having a bit of a nasty time at the moment. I will pray for you, and hope you get over this soon!

 

[Jesusisgood]

Hi there!(big hugs) i used to have that same ocd and I know EXACTLY how you feel. No you did not lose your salvation. i had a similar ocd where i thought if i didnt do certain things, that i would lose my soul. i talked to a close Christian friend I really trust and she explained to me that I can't ever lose my soul because of these thoughts and because my soul is me and I belong to God now. i feel alot better now and I am trusting God to keep me. You are still saved

 

[Jesusisgood]

Oh i forgot to add that it happened last year. I recovered and came along way for then to now. I am taking medicine but one of the main things that set me free from my ocd was that I decided to trust God and continue to grow as a Christian.
I will pray for you and for these thoughts to stop. Dont focus on them no matter how strong they seem. When we dont focus on them the thoughts lose their grip on our brain.