please help

[Jo1]

I dont really know if this is to do with self-esteem guess it is..
I play some worship for my church. I hate talking in front of people so I avoid looking at their faces. Has anyone any suggestions how I can overcome, my shyness, or lack of esteem in this area? thanks

 

[bccc06]

Jo1, While I can't give you a quick fix for your dilemma, I can certainly relate. I play in a worship band at my church as well, and I also don't talk to most people at my church (I do know what my problem is though). I don't speak to most people because I feel like a failure as a Christian, (I keep thinking they don't sin like I do) and it's easier to avoid talking to them, instead of than lying to them, when they ask how I'm doing. I know this isn't really related to your dilemma, but felt it was necessary to respond. God Bless you.

 

[HeavenAnn]

Trust me,your not as bad as you may think you are.
we are our hardest critic.worst even.Your not a frailer BC!...
Dont think that your the only one there that sins.
we all do,rather its spend to much money or eat to much.
man is simple and sometimes even simple things are sins.
dont be to hard on your selfs.

 

[rvsl]

If you wear glasses, take them off! I always found it easier to speak to large audiences when i couldn't focus on any individual faces! Just a collection of blurry heads!

If you can't do the first suggestion, the next one may help, but don't reveal this to any of your audience. Simply imagine that everybody in the audience is naked, with the exception of socks. Try not to laugh out loud.

HeavenAnn is right, you are no where near as bad as you think!

Also, you are your own worst critic.

 

[18candles]

Remember, God is always stood right next to you. If you think of that, you know you'll never have to face anyone alone. With God you are a strong individual who can tackle anything- of that I have no doubt.

'God is my refuge and strength an ever present help in times of trouble, therefore I shall not fear'

Next time, take 3 deep breaths, say this to yourself, smile and go for it...

 

[Psalm13_5-6]

I dont really know if this is to do with self-esteem guess it is..
I play some worship for my church. I hate talking in front of people so I avoid looking at their faces. Has anyone any suggestions how I can overcome, my shyness, or lack of esteem in this area? thanks

Well, I have social anxiety and have for all my life. So...I feel for ya.

I'm sure the people in the church are grateful to you for your music. So why not look at the faces and think, "Those people want me to succeed. They are thinking only positive things for me." I'll bet its true.

I SO enjoy music and wish I could participate in some way, but I don't have the talent. Even if I had the talent, don't know if I could be brave enough to do what you do. So kudos to you for getting up there week after week to serve your fellow Christians. I know when I listen to the worship service I only feel gratitude, not anything negative.

 

[Lem29]

Jo1 --

I would not assume, absent other factors, that this is a self-esteem issue. Anxiety talking or performing in front of people is incredibly common, so please go easy on yourself. There is an old saying that many people fear public speaking more than they fear death. I have no idea if that is true, but it would not surprise me if it was.

As far as I can tell, the best cure for it is practice, practice, practice. Maybe read one of Dale Carnegie's books, such as "The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking." (Your library probably has it.) His books are not recent, but they are easy to read, understand, and to put into practice, and they have stood the test of time.

Another great resource is Toastmasters (just type that into google). They have local chapters all over the place where they get together to discuss and practice speaking in public. It is apparently very low-pressure and really helpful. I haven't tried it myself, but I have a friend who loves it and I am considering giving it a try, if I can find the time.

I'd provide links, but I am too new!

Best of luck!

Lem

 

[Popcorn99]

Practice, Practice, Practice Baby Steps too. Inch by inch. Just look at someones face for a second while not in choir. When you start feeling nervous on a scale from 1 to 10 as soon as you reach a three. Then stop and go relax. Then do the same thing again. When you reach a 3 on a scale from one to 10 just stop and go relax. Keep doing this over and over and soon you will feel much more comfortable looking into peoples faces. It worked for me!

 

[SMacGregor]

There is a simple answer. Become aware of your own self talk and when it’s negative, change it. So ask yourself a positive question and you’ll get a positive answer. It can be a challenge, in the middle of experiencing or re-experiencing a negative event, to think of a positive question.

Regards,
Sandy MacGregor

 

[jsimms615]

When I first started public speaking I would look at the wall in the back of the room. the more confident you feel about what your saying or doing the more comfortable you will tend to feel. You could try practicing in the sanctuary or place where your going to speak when nobody is there to get a feel for what it might be like.