Please Help

[InGodsHands86]

Hi all,
My name is Cyndal and I think I may have bipolar disorder. I have in the past been dignosed with ADD and always just put all my emotional problems on that however I am now thinking there is something else wrong. I really don't know where to start or how to get help. I am a christian and have been praying about it constantly and I think that God is really opening my eyes to get help. When I was about 13 years old I started picking/pulling at my hair and have not been able to stop no matter what I try and now its worse than ever I am scared I am going to start having bald spots and it sounds so stupid like I should be able to just quit but I cant I have tried to controll it but the more I try the more I do it. I always feel nervous,anctious,like my mind is running there are a million thoughts and pictures in my head in one second I cant slow down. Then it hits the time where I am worn out tired and don't even want to move. My grandmother and great aunt have been dignosed with bipolar and my family has always looked down on it as if they should be able to just turn it off. They look at thereapist as conartists just messing people up more than they already were. I am 23 now and have a 4 year old sweet daugher and 1 year old boy/girl twins my husband is wonderful we are a christian family and they are my world and I love them with all my heart but I feel like no one around me understands. I am screaming for help but no one hears. I get little sleep if any. I dont know what to do I feel lost. If anyone can give me some insight or advice I would greatly appreciate it. I have never wanted to be on drugs but I am getting to a point where I would give anything a try my family deserves better and I want to do everything I can to be better. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Thank you all and God bless,
Cyndal

 

[dark struggle]

Hello Cyndal,
I can almost feel all those emotions all over again. I have the hardest time sleeping because I can not turn my brain off. It is constantly going from here to there on random and sometimes very stupid stuff that means nothing. I get anxious alot and in these rages that I can not control quiet often, it is worse when I am off my meds, I used to be against all drugs, I wouldn't even take a caugh drop but now I am thankful for them. I also have OCD and PSD which make life that much harder, but through Christ I am able to go on. Though there are times when all I can do is beg him to kill me and we all know how far that has gotten me. Anyways there is so much more that I can not even put into words but I would say talk to your DR. about it and maybe he/she can diagnose the real issue. It took my Dr. several years before coming to this diagnosis. I have suffered since I could remember and no one understood, no one got it and my dad did not believe in dr.s counsolers ect. So I just hung on and often cried myself to sleep because I knew there was something wrong with me and there was no help. Anyways hope this helps some, let us know what happens.

 

[InGodsHands86]

Thank you so much for your reply, I thank God for leading me to this forum! It feels so good to have people to talk to who actually understand. I don't currently have a doctor right now I don't even know which kind of doctor I need to go to. I am also a stay at home mom with three sweet little ones and don't have a baby sitter ever so its kinda hard to go to the doctor. I do know that I am going to have to some how go so I can start getting better. I can't live like this anymore I try so hard to hide it from my family and friends and that too is also stressful. We just had a death in the family too and I feel like the last thing my family needs is to hear about my problems. I just want to be me again I don't feel anything any more just anger and anxiety even though I act like I am happy and ok. I do get joy from my kids but just not like I should. I am also not good with words or expressing myself so I don't even know what to say to them when I make an appointment. I live in east texas longview tyler area if anyone knows any good doctors. I would love to find a christian doctor. Sorry so long again its just my first time really talking about this.
Prayers Please
Thank you!

 

[Alive again]

Welcome to the forum. I look forward to learning more about you. I have actually been in your little corner of Texas as my dtr went to Le Toruneau! LOL. Minirth and Meier clinics are in Allen and Richardson Texas. Too far for you but calling their 1-800 number perhaps they could point you to someone in your area. I do not know what your health coverage is but a Psychiatrist would be the best. Here we also have Mental Health Nurse Practitioner. These both can write prescriptions and diagnose in my state.

The Minirth Clinic P.A.
1200 E. Collins Blvd. Suite 300
Richardson, TX 75081

Telephone: 972.669.1733 or 1.888.MINIRTH (646.4784)


Richardson
2099 North Collins Blvd.
Suite 100
Richardson, TX 75080
(972) 437-4698

Get Directions

Outpatient Services with
Spanish-speaking
counselors available
Adult Day Program
Adult Intensive Outpatient
Program for Sexual Addictions
Allen
c/o Cottonwood Creek Baptist Church
1015 Highway 121
Allen, TX 75013
(972) 437-4698

Get Directions

Outpatient Services




OPENS 7/1/2010

Hope this helps

My prayers are with you. I will be away for a couple of weeks on a vacation. There are many good resources out there. But the best thing for you to do is go to a doctor and speak th truth about all you are dealing with. Know it can take a bit to find the right med. But the right medicine gave me my life back.

 

[Jeshu]

Hi all,
My name is Cyndal and I think I may have bipolar disorder. I have in the past been dignosed with ADD and always just put all my emotional problems on that however I am now thinking there is something else wrong. I really don't know where to start or how to get help. I am a christian and have been praying about it constantly and I think that God is really opening my eyes to get help. When I was about 13 years old I started picking/pulling at my hair and have not been able to stop no matter what I try and now its worse than ever I am scared I am going to start having bald spots and it sounds so stupid like I should be able to just quit but I cant I have tried to controll it but the more I try the more I do it. I always feel nervous,anctious,like my mind is running there are a million thoughts and pictures in my head in one second I cant slow down. Then it hits the time where I am worn out tired and don't even want to move. My grandmother and great aunt have been dignosed with bipolar and my family has always looked down on it as if they should be able to just turn it off. They look at thereapist as conartists just messing people up more than they already were. I am 23 now and have a 4 year old sweet daugher and 1 year old boy/girl twins my husband is wonderful we are a christian family and they are my world and I love them with all my heart but I feel like no one around me understands. I am screaming for help but no one hears. I get little sleep if any. I dont know what to do I feel lost. If anyone can give me some insight or advice I would greatly appreciate it. I have never wanted to be on drugs but I am getting to a point where I would give anything a try my family deserves better and I want to do everything I can to be better. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Thank you all and God bless,
Cyndal

Be most welcome

 

[helpneedednow]

i can relate to your situation. i would really recommend you see a shrink, get some meds, im on stavzor, a new drug that is better than depocote er. this has done wonders for me as it has stablized my whole train of thinking. you can function like a normal person on it, no racing thoughts, no nervous twitching, and for me very little stuttering, which i was born with. i take that with citalopram, a generic anti-deppressent and there are no more thoughts of hurting myself anymore. dont wait to get help because i waited to long, didnt know i had bipolar and adhd, and tried to kill myself 4 times. thank god that im still here and am able to try and help others in thier fight with this illness. therapists are here to help you and while they cannot really do what a doctor does they can listen and help you work through your issues, mine is very helpful to me. i hope this helps and you can get on the road to recovery soon as you sound like a great person and mother and it would really be a shame to throw that all away. god bless you and you will be in my prayers.

 

[Chaplain.Walt]

There are medications that you can take to slow your thoughts down at night so that you can sleep and still be refreshed the next day. Besure to mention it to your doctor.

 

[lovedbeyondmeasure]

When I was diagnosed with bipolar, there was no help. So my husband I started Hopeworks, a chapter of the Depression and Bipolar Suppport Alliance. theDBSA is a very helpful resource for anyone with this illness. <staff edit>