please help

[deshadow]

i was always a freethinker/skeptic

im worried i did the unpardonable sin by denying what i knew was right
(christianity) and worse off, praying to satan, and getting an answer.

i had been hearing voices telling me to turn from my path o looking at
world religion and consciousness amd psychology. the voice said if you
keep doing this you will burn in hell forever. i heard oter voices
too, i hear people talking about me, i ave thoughts bounce around in
my head.

at one time i wasmdesperate for divine help. (previous to all of this,
i would feel moved by christians witnessing to me buand sometimes i
tohght that i t was right and i would admit it when i was older...)

so i was wanting divine help, i also thought that satan would tell me
the truth and maybwe givine me knowledge for help on a musical
instruemnt, or just tell me the truth about god

so i tried playing a devil intercal on my instruemnt a perfector
diminished 7th, i cant rmeember, its from a solo called "vox
gabrielli) the voice of gabrielle, also in a tartini piece the devils
trill

so i was high on weed at the time and overwhelmed by demonic voices
and thoughts, and i thought i heard satan. i heard voices saying "we
wil lgive you what you want"

i didnt want to saty yes but i wold hear a weak voice inside me say
yes, i heard rage and anguish and laughing, people shouting "fool" and
i eard a voice saying your soul is mine and another voice inside
saying yes, i kept on wanting to say no no, but i didnt think it
worked. becuase i have felt doomed ever since, andi have heard voices
telling me, its too late, you are doomed, you know what you did


and when i pray to jesus i hear a voice say im sorry, go away, it too
late, i cant help you, no etc









-----------------------------------------------------

before tis happeed

Sometmes I t was like people were tlaking about whatever was on my
mind, other times aboout things I didnt think I was thinking about

at first the voices had to do with fears of mine

people would talk about my sexuality (i am straight, possibly bi, I
think everyone might be bi) and voices (people around me) were calling
me gay

i had a lot of problems wit my folks and at home so people would call
me a jerk, evil child, abusive child etc

in the height of a delusion and on marijuana at the time, I started
calling out for supernatural assistance trying to stop voices and
delusions

i didnt think god was answering

so I got on a musical instrumenrt and played the devils interval
(perfect seventh) trying to get satan to respon

he did, the experience teerrified me

i had knowledge that he existed which was what I wanted (i just wanted
an answer from some form of divinity)

i heard voices inside me talking, some yelling at me

i can have your soul now! Anorther weaker terrified voice said "yes"
i didnt think I wanted to say yes

as I start to analyze my situation from a jungian situation, I think
part of me did want to live out this bizarre hopeless myth but tharts
another story

right now I am in a world where I feel doomed and hopeless, knowing
after I die I will be tormented forever, fried in oil, things of that
nature

i thik I have psychic ability, able to read others tohughts (not when
I want to of course)

i especially have a conection with other lost souls, witches, =damned,
evil children, bad seeds, etc

i try callignthe m out in public, interoggatig them without actually
asking "hey did you sell your soul too?"

i hear them say yes its true, its real, its horrible

just shut upo and stop worrying about it, turn your brain off

i guess these are all complexes from my shadow (according to jung)
talking to me

and I had an archetypal experience with the devil

my rational side doesnt beleive in christ an all rhat

altohugh sometimes voices seem to want me to go back to christianity

well im glad I found this place

i will post up my whole story from a psychological standpoint to
explain what happened

 

[LittleLambofJesus]

so i was high on weed at the time and overwhelmed by demonic voices
and thoughts, and i thought i heard satan. i heard voices saying "we
wil lgive you what you want"
im worried i did the unpardonable sin by denying what i knew was right
(christianity) and worse off, praying to satan, and getting an answer.

You might want to read through this commentary from Preston Eby.
There are many denominations in Christianity that have different views on "Hellfire" and "Endtimes" but from what I have read from PE is good so far. Peace.

http://www.kingdombiblestudies.org/savior/SOW14.htm

THE UNPARDONABLE SIN
The Unpardonable Sin
What Is The Sin?
There Is No Unpardonable Sin!
No Forgiveness To The Age
The Day Dawns

What is the sin against the Holy Spirit? In the third chapter of Mark, we have the parallel passage to the text we just read in Matthew, the same record of these men coming around Jesus when they saw Him perform His mighty miracle for the poor man who could neither see nor speak. In order to keep the people from believing Jesus, they said the miracle was performed by the power of Satan. Notice the words of Jesus in verses 28-30: "Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith so ever they shall blaspheme. But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost has never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation: BECAUSE THEY SAID,HE HAS AN UNCLEAN SPIRIT." Ah - now there's a clue - the Pharisees' opposition to Jesus was not a spur of the moment, hotheaded fit of pique. These men knew what they were doing. Their schemes against Jesus were deliberate, calculated. A leading Pharisee, Nicodemus, once confided to Jesus, "Rabbi, we know that You are a teacher come from God; for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him" (Jn. 3:2). Many of them knew better, but unlike Nicodemus they still plotted to destroy Him. They had developed an implacable contempt for Jesus because He presented a threat to their prestige and power over the people. Jesus warned them of the dire consequences of their attitude and actions. They were not just sinning against God in heaven above, or against the Son of God on earth - they were resisting, opposing, withstanding, impugning, confronting, assailing, attacking and repulsing the Holy Spirit - THE VERY ACTIVITY AND MINISTRATION OF GOD TOWARDS THEM! They were in danger of blaspheming the Holy Ghost!

Matthew 23:1 Then Jesus spoke to the multitudes and to His disciples, 2 saying: "The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. 3 "Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, [that] observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do.

 

[mnbvcxz87]

deshadow, cannabis can and will enduce psychosis, dependant on a few factors. Whether the person is sussecptable, the quantity, etc. But from your post, it's clear to me that the drugs are enducing psychosis, and you have to refrain from using, I would say, any caffeine, cannabis, or even excess amounts of sugar.

Changing your diet to more healthy, natural and organic foods and refraining from using those products - and you should do whatever you have to, for that - will solve the problems. If you don't, they will only get worse.

 

[SarcasmDispenser]

You need to see a doctor.

 

[mnbvcxz87]

And deshadow millions of people suffer mentally from drug use, from all walks of life., there's no shame in it at all. You really have to stop using them, and after maybe 2 months you will notice your mind is much clearer.

 

[deshadow]

i have stopped using canabis a few months ago. i eat mostly vegetarian, get almost enough excercise and drink a lot of water.

i dont know how to overcome the idea that i got unblessed or that i got darkgifts from the devil, like soul, or understanding, black soul to make black and world music like calypso, salsa, jazz etc.

did i sell my soul for rock and roll essentially? i t looks like im better at singing than i ever was. its freaky. maybe my mind gave itself the blues in a weird way.

 

[glo1]

I agree with SarcasmDispenser.

Will the level of voices and other people's thoughts you are hearing, you really need to seek medical help!
By all means, seek spiritual advice, but go to a doctor first and foremost!

Don't try to deal with this on your own.

Peace


glo

 

[mnbvcxz87]

You gave up drugs a few months ago, how many months? And when you were using, how long did you use for?, how much would you typically use in a session? and how strong was the strain you typically used?

http://homepages.poptel.org.uk/DrDrew/health.html#mind

Cannabis makes you aware when you use it, of thoughts in your mind that exist all the time, but without the use of drugs wouldn't register. They can imprint, and lead to paranoia and other mental symptoms. I've never suffered from long term effects, which I think you might have, so I don't know what you should do if that is the case, but honestly, talking to a doctor about what you should do in relation to the effects drugs have had, is what I suggest.

I suspect they may say that if you carry on not using drugs and eating healthy foods your mind will be clearer given more time, that's what I would guess at. But the issue really is the effects of the drugs, not the actual ideas, because the drugs caused them.

 

[KCDAD]

i have stopped using canabis a few months ago. i eat mostly vegetarian, get almost enough excercise and drink a lot of water.

i dont know how to overcome the idea that i got unblessed or that i got darkgifts from the devil, like soul, or understanding, black soul to make black and world music like calypso, salsa, jazz etc.

did i sell my soul for rock and roll essentially? i t looks like im better at singing than i ever was. its freaky. maybe my mind gave itself the blues in a weird way.

Since there is no devil to sell your soul to, you are safe there. There are no voices in your head, sounds are merely interpretations of neurotransmitters in our brains that respond to vibrations received in our ears. If no one is talking and you are hearing voices, your brain is creating interpretations of random neurotransmissions (probably from the mid brain or brain stem) and YOU are creating the voices and the words.
So, don't freak out, just go see a Doctor and watch his lips closely when he talks to you so you don't confuse your voices with his.

 

[deshadow]

i dont think there is a devil either. i think/hope i had an archetypal experience based on ideas fed into me since birth, but it was a little too weird. and sometimes its like i can spot o ther lost souls in a crowd. sometimes its like they can spot me.

i beleive that god speaks to everyone differently. although i have been moved by ministries of christ, i beleive that because the ideas, some of the ideas, in christianity are very beautiful. i think beleif andfaith and walks of faith all can help humans unlock their higher power, help them achieve beautiful things for each other.

i dont like the idea of "beleive in this or go to hell" it doesnt seem sensical, it goes against reason. i dont care what c s lewis says.

but the experience was so weird and scary, and i still think that i see other lost souls, or people that sould their soul for passion in public, like we have an unspoken solemn and freaky connection.

 

[LittleLambofJesus]

i dont think there is a devil either. i think/hope i had an archetypal experience based on ideas fed into me since birth, but it was a little too weird. and sometimes its like i can spot o ther lost souls in a crowd. sometimes its like they can spot me.

Do you believe this is a "literal" Devil in revelation?

Interesting it comes from the same greek word used for "cast".

dia-bolos (Strong's 1228) occurs 38 times in 36 verses: Page 1, verses 1 - 25

Reve 20:10 The devil/dia-boloV <1228> , who deceived them, was cast/ eblhqh <906> into the lake of fire and brimstone where the beast and the false prophet [are.] And they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.

906. ballo bal'-lo a primary verb; to throw (in various applications, more or less violent or intense):--arise, cast (out), X dung, lay, lie, pour, put (up), send, strike, throw (down), thrust. Compare 4496. 1000. bole bol-ay' from 906; a throw (as a measure of distance):--cast.

 

[Snowbunny]

i was always a freethinker/skeptic

im worried i did the unpardonable sin by denying what i knew was right
(christianity) and worse off, praying to satan, and getting an answer.

i had been hearing voices telling me to turn from my path o looking at
world religion and consciousness amd psychology. the voice said if you
keep doing this you will burn in hell forever. i heard oter voices
too, i hear people talking about me, i ave thoughts bounce around in
my head.

at one time i wasmdesperate for divine help. (previous to all of this,
i would feel moved by christians witnessing to me buand sometimes i
tohght that i t was right and i would admit it when i was older...)

so i was wanting divine help, i also thought that satan would tell me
the truth and maybwe givine me knowledge for help on a musical
instruemnt, or just tell me the truth about god

so i tried playing a devil intercal on my instruemnt a perfector
diminished 7th, i cant rmeember, its from a solo called "vox
gabrielli) the voice of gabrielle, also in a tartini piece the devils
trill

so i was high on weed at the time and overwhelmed by demonic voices
and thoughts, and i thought i heard satan. i heard voices saying "we
wil lgive you what you want"

i didnt want to saty yes but i wold hear a weak voice inside me say
yes, i heard rage and anguish and laughing, people shouting "fool" and
i eard a voice saying your soul is mine and another voice inside
saying yes, i kept on wanting to say no no, but i didnt think it
worked. becuase i have felt doomed ever since, andi have heard voices
telling me, its too late, you are doomed, you know what you did


and when i pray to jesus i hear a voice say im sorry, go away, it too
late, i cant help you, no etc









-----------------------------------------------------

before tis happeed

Sometmes I t was like people were tlaking about whatever was on my
mind, other times aboout things I didnt think I was thinking about

at first the voices had to do with fears of mine

people would talk about my sexuality (i am straight, possibly bi, I
think everyone might be bi) and voices (people around me) were calling
me gay

i had a lot of problems wit my folks and at home so people would call
me a jerk, evil child, abusive child etc

in the height of a delusion and on marijuana at the time, I started
calling out for supernatural assistance trying to stop voices and
delusions

i didnt think god was answering

so I got on a musical instrumenrt and played the devils interval
(perfect seventh) trying to get satan to respon

he did, the experience teerrified me

i had knowledge that he existed which was what I wanted (i just wanted
an answer from some form of divinity)

i heard voices inside me talking, some yelling at me

i can have your soul now! Anorther weaker terrified voice said "yes"
i didnt think I wanted to say yes

as I start to analyze my situation from a jungian situation, I think
part of me did want to live out this bizarre hopeless myth but tharts
another story

right now I am in a world where I feel doomed and hopeless, knowing
after I die I will be tormented forever, fried in oil, things of that
nature

i thik I have psychic ability, able to read others tohughts (not when
I want to of course)

i especially have a conection with other lost souls, witches, =damned,
evil children, bad seeds, etc

i try callignthe m out in public, interoggatig them without actually
asking "hey did you sell your soul too?"

i hear them say yes its true, its real, its horrible

just shut upo and stop worrying about it, turn your brain off

i guess these are all complexes from my shadow (according to jung)
talking to me

and I had an archetypal experience with the devil

my rational side doesnt beleive in christ an all rhat

altohugh sometimes voices seem to want me to go back to christianity

well im glad I found this place

i will post up my whole story from a psychological standpoint to
explain what happened

hola

it sounds like you are very confused right now and have a lot of issues you are sorting through... i just wanted to say a few short things... "the unpardonable sin" is a lie... apostacy is a grave sin, and it is true that if you die in a state of apostacy you will face hell, but God forgives everything for those who really repent and there is no such thing as a Sin he does not forgive... so when you feel like you are not forgiven and cannot be forgiven know that that is a lie, go out and do something good like helping people and have some hope

the other thing i wanted to say is please please please see a counsellor... i know a lot of people do not like to go to them but they help! i went through a lot of depression at one point in my life and i was greatful to have gone... i mean you are very confused... it sounds like you have a lot of depression and some identity problems...

okay and also i think you should mention the voices... like i do not mean to sound like i think you are crazy or anything but i do think it is kind of a rush judgment to think that the voices you are hearing are of a demonic origin... and with the depression and otehr problems you are talking about i just think there might be like a link... peoples minds under stress can do some incredible things...

okay what else... okay and the thing about demons having your soul - dont even thinka bout that, its just not true... you cant give your soul to anybody and the only person who can take it is the one who created it and gave it to you and that is God, and he gave it to you for a reason and the reason was not to feel desparaged...

and if i could make one more observation... i dont think it is a very good idea to psychologically analyze yourself because self diagnosis even with phsyical diseases is very difficult, you have natural prejudices that have to be overcome, and with psychological problems the therapy becomes part of the problem, like you diagnose yourself according to whatever provides the most hope for you... kind of a defensive mechanism, that makes it hard for psychologists to help you and address the real problems...

God Bless You...
annette

 

[deshadow]

i beleive that humans think and processa ideas. i beleive they come up wit ideas
i beleive they express ideas through words


i dont know what i beleive

i know that to beleive one has to accept and not reason much or use too much logic

i know one has to keep beleiving until he beleives.

or keep praying to something that there is no proof of, until an answer is gotten. i dont think the answer necessarily proves anything, i think the mind makes it real. this is why people of all walks of faith can get answers to their prayer

some christians think if jesus answered the prayer, it was jesus, and if anyone else answered the prayer it was the devil.

i think it was the mind


dreams seem real, the mind is very powerful the subconscious is amazingly powerful.

i dont know, i think there is good and evil. i think choices affect how we feel about things

i think good choices are good

good choices make good choices easier, you train your mind to keep doing good choices, this makes oyur mind wanrt to do more good, becuase it feels good


i think in revelations the devil could be one literal evil spirit.

i dont know if god, jesus, devil or other spirits are real or not. i thik if god the creator is real then he works on a huge scale and is not watered down by scriptures and waks of faith.

but on the other hand, i think that scriptures and walkss of faithhelp people tap into their higher power which may or may not be linked with the most high god.

i also beleive that revelation beast could be looked at as being a force of evil, like working through many people and ideas.

who knows

 

[LittleLambofJesus]

i dont think there is a devil either. i think/hope i had an archetypal experience based on ideas fed into me since birth, but it was a little too weird. and sometimes its like i can spot o ther lost souls in a crowd. sometimes its like they can spot me.

Do you believe this is a "literal" Devil in revelation?

Interesting it comes from the same greek word used for "cast".

dia-bolos (Strong's 1228) occurs 38 times in 36 verses: Page 1, verses 1 - 25

Reve 20:10 The devil/dia-boloV <1228> , who deceived them, was cast/ eblhqh <906> into the lake of fire and brimstone where the beast and the false prophet [are.] And they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.

906. ballo bal'-lo a primary verb; to throw (in various applications, more or less violent or intense):--arise, cast (out), X dung, lay, lie, pour, put (up), send, strike, throw (down), thrust. Compare 4496. 1000. bole bol-ay' from 906; a throw (as a measure of distance):--cast.

i also beleive that revelation beast could be looked at as being a force of evil, like working through many people and ideas.

who knows

By the way, may I ask if you read the Bible much or how much have you read of it

You might want to read through this commentary from Preston Eby.
There are many denominations in Christianity that have different views on "Hellfire" and "Endtimes" but from what I have read from PE is good so far. Peace.

http://www.kingdombiblestudies.org/savior/SOW14.htm

THE UNPARDONABLE SIN
The Unpardonable Sin
What Is The Sin?
There Is No Unpardonable Sin!
No Forgiveness To The Age
The Day Dawns

What is the sin against the Holy Spirit? In the third chapter of Mark, we have the parallel passage to the text we just read in Matthew, the same record of these men coming around Jesus when they saw Him perform His mighty miracle for the poor man who could neither see nor speak. In order to keep the people from believing Jesus, they said the miracle was performed by the power of Satan. Notice the words of Jesus in verses 28-30: "Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith so ever they shall blaspheme. But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost has never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation: BECAUSE THEY SAID,HE HAS AN UNCLEAN SPIRIT."

 

[mnbvcxz87]

shadow woud you give me a little backround?

First the questions about the drug use I asked.

And a couple other questions if you don't mind answering. How old are you? What ideas were you taught at a young age, in terms of religion?

 

[deshadow]

i have read most of new testament esp the gospels and stuff attributed to paul, as well as genesis exodus, isiah, proverbs and psalms, i need to read more. i will look at those links. thanks

my big problems is i dont like the idea of hell, and i dont like hte justifications i get from many people. i dont think that god "has" to send people to hell in order to "be just" i dont think the ghastlyness of hell makes god more loving that imaginable, i dont think that just because a good cop locks up criminals hat god has to send epople that dont beleive in him to hell, i dont think its as simple as "well they chose hell" yes maybe, but they didnt think they were choosing hell, their reasons were very good, and givine the nature of the human mind and the nature of the things in the real world consisting of people from all over, cultures from all ver, science, and psychology ad stuff like that, to make it seam likea "simple choice, they chose hell" shows a lack of understanding of their aargument

and i would hope that a god that is bigger than all of this and in the flowers trees and air, and before time, and all things, would understand his creations!

i know tis isnt what you asked. i wat to ask a lot of questions in chrisitan forums.

 

[deshadow]

shadow woud you give me a little backround?

First the questions about the drug use I asked.

And a couple other questions if you don't mind answering. How old are you? What ideas were you taught at a young age, in terms of religion?

23

i was taught to think for myself, iwas taught torespect world cultures ad that no on really knows the trut, i was taught to do good and treat others how i would want to be treated.

i did go to presbyterian church youthgroup, service, choir and was confirmed in the church, i had no early sunday school, this was from 6th grade or sountil highschool

my dad is athiest skeptic physicist, my mom is a free thinker who thinks jesus was a teacher ad that humans should do te best that they can, but that religion praeys on low self esteem and usses a lot of brainwasing to help people feel good, but that people wit faith are many times capable of great worls andgreat beauty

 

[mnbvcxz87]

Ok so knowing that, if from a young age the issue of religion has been one you've thought about wether because of your own interested or being taught it, and you have had conflicting thoughts about the same issue,

ie at sunday school you are taught , 'jesus is ....' and then your dad tells you 'jesus is ...' something different, your mind like everyone elses has millions of thoughts which you dont register. If therefore, without realising, you are having conflicting thought processes, by using drugs you will become aware of them and you will become aware therefore of conflicting emotions, conflicting ideas, conflicting thought processes.

And under influence , that can seem like anything, you might think because of that youre insane. That isnt the case, thats the effect of drugs. When the high leaves you, you can reflect of those thoughts and again it will be confusing, because they are confusing.

And the brain is a hugely complex thing, we know little about it, little about the potential of it. It certainly isn't beyond the potential of the brain to create thought processes and convince yourself of something which ist true, ie hearing a voice. Actually this is a well known mental sympton of drug use for some people, that if they hear a repetative sound high, the mind will create the impression of the sound continuing after it has stopped. Or possibly to create the sound out of nothing, however it isnt a sound it's only an impression.

Your thoughts show that you are delving into what your mind is actually thinking, ie

my big problems is i dont like the idea of hell, and i dont like hte justifications i get from many people. i dont think that god "has" to send people to hell in order to "be just" i dont think the ghastlyness of hell makes god more loving that imaginable, i dont think that just because a good cop locks up criminals hat god has to send epople that dont beleive in him to hell, i dont think its as simple as "well they chose hell" yes maybe, but they didnt think they were choosing hell, their reasons were very good, and givine the nature of the human mind and the nature of the things in the real world consisting of people from all over, cultures from all ver, science, and psychology ad stuff like that, to make it seam likea "simple choice, they chose hell" shows a lack of understanding of their aargument

however the other effects you describe in your first post are adverse mental symptoms of the drug use, which is why that is such a big issue.

As for the problem issues you raised in that quote, alot of people feel like that. I would agree with your mother, some religions use brainwashing tactics, and you dont have to accept them. I rejected religion, it doesnt have to be true, regardless of who tells you it is.

If you decide christianity is true, you have to find a way of reconsiling your issues which you raise to conform with the religion. If you cant reconsile them, then to you, it can't be true.

It's like someone completely unwilling to give up meat wanting to be a buddha, if you can't reconsile your issues with the belief system's issues, then reject it. If not, accept it, that's for you to know.

 

[sidhe]

Yo,

As someone who deals with hallucinations, voices, and paranoia, my advice is to go seek counseling immediately.

This isn't a question of religion. This is a question of the chemical balances inside your nervous system. The most important thing you can do is get help, before you do something like stick a knife in your arm.

Get help.

GET HELP.

If you need support or advice, PM me.

Sidhe

 

[deshadow]

no no, too scared of hell, and i like life too much for thart.

hmm but why is it that it is non christians with the hallucinations, maybe the scientists call damned/lost souls to be suffering from psychosis just to mkae them feel better? (no my rational side does not agree with this, but i see the little "other" as your decleration of faith)