I am writing this cause I am in some desperate need of some advice and some help. I am in this relationship and am currently engaged. However, my problem is that I sometimes feel that I get the leftovers of her emotionally and physically(not sexually). I am made to feel like if I want to spend time together I am being selfish. As it is we spend maybe a few hours a week of alone time getting to know each other more. Most of the other time is psent around family and church. Sometimes I feel as though our relationship is at a standstill and drifting backwards. I feel as though I have lost my connection with me.
When we first met we were so happy and enjoyed the time we spent together. We used to have fun, now it seems like a chore for us to spend any quality time together. She has a child and I know she has to spend time with the child and being there with her child, but sometimes I feel like the only connection we have is with her child. I have a great relationship with the child. We go for ice-cream and other fun stuff I watch the child a lot so that my SO can have some time by herself and for herself. I am trying so hard to be there for her. I am pouring myself so much into this relationship. So much so that I dont do anthing for myself. I help her out so much and am still made to feel like I am not there for her.
She is not a horrible person and I see that she genuinely cares for me and loves me, but somewhere along the line she started focusing on so many other people like her family that i get the leftovers, I get the tiredness, i get the frustratedness. I get what everone else left her with. There is just so much time that we are losing and drifting apart adn i can't get her to see that i am getting frustrated and tired of being left out. But she sees it as being my problem and that I am not properly rooted in God and need to grow more to be there for her. I do admit I need to do some more growing but I am there so much for her. An example in the past 2 weeks we may have spent a total of 5 hours not with other people and most of those times was driving to other places.
I knwo she loves me but I dont know what to do. I love her so much and care for her and want us to grow closer together but not further apart but thats not happening and I cant seem to share that with her. I cant get her to understand this. I am to the point where I am ready to explode. I am holding in so much and I can't share it with her cause she will see me as being weak and not being able to support her and be there for her.
I dont know what to do. please help.
When we first met we were so happy and enjoyed the time we spent together. We used to have fun, now it seems like a chore for us to spend any quality time together. She has a child and I know she has to spend time with the child and being there with her child, but sometimes I feel like the only connection we have is with her child. I have a great relationship with the child. We go for ice-cream and other fun stuff I watch the child a lot so that my SO can have some time by herself and for herself. I am trying so hard to be there for her. I am pouring myself so much into this relationship. So much so that I dont do anthing for myself. I help her out so much and am still made to feel like I am not there for her.
She is not a horrible person and I see that she genuinely cares for me and loves me, but somewhere along the line she started focusing on so many other people like her family that i get the leftovers, I get the tiredness, i get the frustratedness. I get what everone else left her with. There is just so much time that we are losing and drifting apart adn i can't get her to see that i am getting frustrated and tired of being left out. But she sees it as being my problem and that I am not properly rooted in God and need to grow more to be there for her. I do admit I need to do some more growing but I am there so much for her. An example in the past 2 weeks we may have spent a total of 5 hours not with other people and most of those times was driving to other places.
I knwo she loves me but I dont know what to do. I love her so much and care for her and want us to grow closer together but not further apart but thats not happening and I cant seem to share that with her. I cant get her to understand this. I am to the point where I am ready to explode. I am holding in so much and I can't share it with her cause she will see me as being weak and not being able to support her and be there for her.
I dont know what to do. please help.
Anyways holding back emotions is definately not a good thing. One day your gonna explode and it'll end up in a big fight (maybe in front of the kid) So just tell her that you feel that you two aren't sharing enough quality time together. Maybe set aside an evenining where you two do whatever you want. Get a babysitter and go out.
