Please help me!

[VeraJosefine]

(Please keep in mind while reading this, that English is not my native language)

How shall I start....
Music has been a huge part of my life, and it has always had a huge impact on me. I've never been the basic "mainstream" kid, who only listens to music from the top-charts, and I love to look for and discover new music. Well, lately I've gotten really into rock music.
First it started with classic rock (like 60's 70's stuff) and it has gone more "hardcore" ever since. And the impact, that this kind of music has had on me has not been very good. First I got very depressed (it wasn't just because of the music, but I feel like the music had something to do with that as well)
I'm lucky enough to go to a christian school, so I asked my friends to pray for me, and I realized that I had to let rock go.
I deleted my rock-playlists from Spotify, and lived on happily
until....
I got depressed again. And this time it was much worse and those thoughts of harming myself sadly became actions.
One night I was sitting in my room crying, and God healed me. I don't remember much from it, but after that I've fought against depression, and I haven't had suicidal thoughts in months.
Well... I've gotten really in to rock again. And the way that it makes me feel is not very christian-like. It makes me want to rebel, it makes me want to do all kinds of inappropriate and violent things, that I'm sure shouldn't belong to a christian's life. It has also made me curse more.
Now I know what you might be thinking:
"Just stop listening to rock"
It's really not that easy. Trust me. When you're not only obsessed with the music, but obsessed with the people in the band.
"Just listen to christian rock"
The only difference between christian and non-christian rock are the words. Rock is a music style, that makes you want to rebel. Rock's original cause has been to rebel, and that's not what God wants. I know, that some people don't think the same way as I do, but I don't believe, that "christian" rock truly exists. Please help me! I don't know what to do. I'm starting to love this world more than God...

I'm truly thankful, if you read that whole paragraph/ramble.
And I'm reminding you once again:
I'm not an eight-year old, I'm just not a native speaker, so my English can be a bit tacky.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

I understand your feelings on rock music. I used to play in a rock band. I also understand your fear. Problem is this:

No one here can help you.

Take your issue to the Father in Heaven. Spend time with him, meditate on him, speak plainly to him.

Father, I am struggling and unless you help me I will do nothing but fall away.

Trust in him. Persist until you know he has led you to his appointed place.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

Just to add... when you feel the urge to listen to the music, pray instead. I often use this tactic when I start to feel condemned or depressed. It does help.

Keep praying until your urge goes away. Just focus entirely on your Heavenly Father, focus on who you are in Jesus... seated in heaven, able to access the very presence of the Father because of Jesus' sacrifice on your behalf

 

[Adstar]

Well yes it is not that easy to give up on something that had developed into an obsession.. But if it is harming you then that's what you must start making moves to do.. I guess you will be in for a struggle and it will take time but the best thing to do is start the fight and keep on fighting..

But another thing to do is pray for Gods help to give you the determination and strength to fight until Victory.. And the good thing about coming to a Christian forum with your situation is that there are a fair number of Christians here will will be praying for God to do just that.. Give you the determination and strength to overcome... Or simply remove what ever pleasure you get out of listening to that music..

Now different people are affected by different things.. For some it is bad movies but they are ok with music for others they can handle movies but are badly affected by music.. So whatever it is that badly affects one to them it is sin and to be resisted and avoided.. So my response to you is specifically made for you.. In my own life Music has not affected my relationship with God adversely..

So what is a problem to some is not a problem to others.. But if something is a problem then it has to be dealt with..

May the LORD bless you with all you need to overcome..

 

[YesMe]

I found that the best thing against addictions is, well, simply, fasting, this is one of the best way to get closer and closer to God, if you can, do it, this is my humble advice, a day without food, just water, every week.You will have more and more peace, believe me, I used to suffer from severe anxiety and depression, my mind was full of lies and all sorts of dark things, but now I have more peace than ever, all thanks to God, praised be the Lord our God! I had many addictions, but today, I feel more free than ever before.

When you fast, your spirit takes control over your flesh, that's when God comes closer and closer to you.Believe me, God sees your need for Him, and He will heal you from anything, He will give you the peace that only He can give it.

Yes, I had thoughts of harming myself, I felt like dying will bring the so needed peace, my mind was a place of chaos, so many lies.. "You are good of nothing", "You are ugly", "You are a garbage", "You are miserable", "You are not a good person", "It's better to die than to live", "You will find peace in death" and so on... but God came and saved me, it can save you too!

Pray a lot, the need to pray comes directly from the Father, the prayer itself is God's way of saying, I want to talk with you.

If you choose to go with my advice, you have to do it for the Father, knowing in your heart that He will see! Also, please let me know, I fast a day a week and I feel more peace than ever, everything thanks to our Lord!

God bless you with His peace!

 

[OwainK]

It's only a style of music, it shouldn't affect your behaviour. If you want to blame music for your behaviour though, that's a different thing.

Nothing's wrong with rock, I like some hardcore and heavy types of rock. Not gonna make you a bad person just cos you have a taste in music.

 

[ub4me]

Feeding the dragon only makes him stronger.
Not everyone can listen to dark music without it pulling you further into darkness.
Since you pretty much said, it makes you want to rebel and so forth, then it has the potential to be harmful to you.
It is an addiction, and just like a drug... The user has to want to quit and seek counseling to help you kick the habit.
When you feel depression coming on, run to Jesus. Worship & praise Him. Draw near to Him, meditate in His word.
The light will get lighter
Or the dark can get Darker
Depending on what you feast upon.
Prayers that you will be delivered from what oppresses you, that your desire grows stronger to please God. He is speaking to you,
I believe you hear Him.

 

[longwait]

Rock music is mainly demonically inspired. Like everyone else I would say put in some effort and extra time to pray and fasting will also help. Separate yourself from worldliness.

 

[VeraJosefine]

I want to thank you all so much for giving me advice. Today I truly started acknowledging that truly God is the only thing that matters. I still have the urge to listen to the music, but I know that with His help I can be strong and resist it. Now that I came here and read your replies, I definitely feel like God has spoken to me. Again, thank you all so much

 

[Sketcher]

I don't think rock music is your problem. Depression, rebellion, violent thoughts - they all transcend rock music. Are you in your teens?