Please Help me

[Maxsteel]

I'm a 26year old guy and i've never had a girlfriend. I was sexually abused by a guy who was a little much older than me when i was younger, during my primary school education. When i went to a secondary school at the age of 10, i was'nt disturbed by the guy again. But, it affected me. I did the same things he did to me.I use to touch a lot also and i feel very bad remembering the things i did. But one thing i will always be grateful to GOD is, it didn't become a part of me. Somehow, i still liked girls even though i never had a girlfriend. I've been fighting those thoughts for so long, my past, questions like ''do i deserve to live when there's no girl for me?'' I really dont know whatelse to do. Please help me. I will never support gay or lesbians, because i know it's wrong. It's being so bad that, because i don't have a girlfriend, i look at lesbian videos just to try to see the feeling of being kissed by a girl or a lady. I have so many questions i wish could have answers. My dad is a member of AMORC. Is that a good thing? Please Help me. I need prayers. I just want to be happy. To be who GOD wants me to be.

 

[whinrei99]

I feel you. I've been in the same way also, but I'm a girl, 21 years old. I had a previous relation with a lesbian, but I strongly believe that I myself isn't lesbian. God made me realize as months passed by through His word that what I am doing is totally wrong. I made a decision that I will put an end to this immorality by God's help and mercy, though I know and she knows that what we felt is real, I just can't find a future with her. it has been weeks only after our break-up and I somehow managed to go along fine, though sometimes it hurts to remember, but I know God is slowly healing my scars. I kept the faith to my heart and mind and never looked back. No matter how hard temptation tries everyday, I kept praying and made myself busy. Pray, it will help you and be determined.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

You're still young. And while I'm sure you crave the relationship that you see some of your friends have, it's more important to find the right relationship. Sometimes for some of us that takes a while.

I believe Paul in scriptures sets an example of how Christ can use us when we are single. Perhaps seeking what Christ's will for your life in serving Him is, rather than focusing on being alone will help to provide direction and a focus that will be healing and fulfilling rather than lonely.

He will provide what and who you need in your life. He is faithful.

 

[Johnnz]

That early sexual experiences will have scrambled some of your thinking about sex. But underlying that you will be normally sexual. You need to develop good mixed gender social relationships, don't see yourself as weird, warped or somehow doomed sexually. Maybe some help in addressing those experiences would be helpful.

John
NZ

 

[jeffk144]

Your post really spoke to me. I see that you're in a great deal of pain and you're very confused...the trappings of youth. I think that the experiences of your childhood have had adverse effects on you in 2 prime way. First, the trauma of your being raped as a boy. Not surprisingly, that kind of experience will haunt you, and govern decisions you make for years if you don't come to terms with it. Second, I suspect that you emerged from your formative years with little in the way of emotional tools at your disposal which you could use to navigate the complicated emotional morass of adulthood. I may be wrong; only you know what your childhood was like. But, you have a strong sense of Providence. It isn't a common thing...proclaiming your sin as against God instead of rationalizing it.
But...listen to me and hear what I'm saying.
If you want to recover from this emotionally and spiritually, you have to understand a couple of things. This is going to take a long time. I can tell you from experience...time and grace heal all things. And there are people to help you...but, you have to start this process from an immovable, inviolable principle...that, no matter what your sin...no matter what...God loves you. He loved you when there was just the promise of you. And, He sent His son through judgement and death for you. Never think that His love fails...that is the greatest weapon of the deceiver. I offer you my friendship and will help you through this...because I have been there...I'm still there...and I couldn't have done it alone. Remember..."I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13

 

[transparentthought13]

Though this may seem blunt and not exactly what you want to hear, I want to make sure you understand this:

If you're seeking to find your happiness in a girlfriend or earthly relationships, you will never be happy. No earthly relationship can ever satisfy that longing in our hearts for love and affection; Christ is the only one who can do that.

Now, by no means am I saying that a girlfriend is not something you can strive for. Genesis says "it is not good for the man to be alone;" he who finds a wife, finds a good thing. What I'm trying to say is your primary, primary happiness and joy can only be found in Christ.

Above all, DON'T think that you can find happiness or satisfaction in porn. That is one of the greatest lies of this generation; it will destroy you. Flee sexual immorality. Run.

Pursue Christ above all.

 

[Bluelion]

I was molested when I was 7, I am a guy and was molested by a guy. So i know just what you are going through. I have good news I have come out the other side of that. You can move past this to a point where these feelings if I am gay because this happen won't be there.

Let me answer some of your question.

I thought does this make me gay, because my first sexual experience was with a man, and when i had it kind of felt good. I thought maybe i wanted it. So you know just what we are talking about the guy who molested me did oral sex to me and then tried to make me do him, I tried but something hit me that said this is not right, and i got away.

The reason it felt good is because that area of the body is meant to create those kinds of feelings. The body does not know the difference. Women who are raped struggle with this to, well it felt good, did i want it? The answer is NO. I did not want my first sexual experience to be with a guy. No i did not ask for it I was 7 years old, I didn't even know about that sex. I did nothing wrong.
If you are thinking these things go over my answers as many times as it takes to sink it.

I acted out what was done to me to. the guy who molested me was 16 year old kid and baby sat for a lot of my friends. Me and my friends started acting out on each other what he had done to us. Does that make me gay No. does the molestation make me gay, No. I was a kid I had no idea what I was doing. I was imitating the way a parrot would with speech.

I told my Mom what had happen that was another brutal story i won't go into. My friends didn't want me to tell there moms, but I did. The guy was never charged, but never baby sat again.

So here I was getting older and my first sexual experience happen with a guy, make it worse me and my friends did it after that to each other. I knew i was attracted to girls, but I wondered if it meant I was gay. I had started drink at 7, and smoking. I was a wreck by ten. I always wondered if I was gay. I am not gay. I was ashamed of my self, some how I was never ashamed when I talked to God. He was the only one i could talk to. i struggled most my life with it.

But those answers i now know if i had only had them then. I did not ask for it, I did not want it, I did nothing wrong. I was a child. I am not gay.

When I was 21 i started studying martial arts, and my former teacher helped me deal with stuff. Now I do not recommend his methods but they were affective. He sent one of the master of his art to my house one day. We went out had a good time. i did not know the man was gay. that night he tried to sleep with me. i told him no. i question him while he was playing with him self looking at me, What made him gay. Then it hit me he was attracted to me. I was not attracted to him in the least. he was a guy, he thought he loved me. i found that strange and unnatural. So i kicked him out of my house I realized I was not gay. i did not touch him in any way nor did I want to. There was just nothing there, i was like dude what are you doing, what is wrong with you.
So I realized I was not gay. Next day I was at the gym, and I had this feminine energy I would go into. It was the energy of my 7 year old molested child. So my teacher told me to feel something on his leg, and when i put my hand there he pushed up to his growing, be for my hand even got close i pulled it away. My teacher said then don't act like that. My teacher was not gay he was married with children, but he new i was not gay. He was showing me that.

See i thought for along time the only thing keeping me from being gay was the shame. This was the 90's so a lot of that went around. My teacher took the shame out of it. that gay guy at my house was a master of the art, if anyone would have said a word about gay to me he would have broke there arms and legs literally. My teach who I respect the most acted gay for a second to show me i am not gay. I was saved at 6 but when i was 21 i was chasing many false gods. So my teacher took the shame out of, but when I regain my faith i just see it as wrong against nature as the bible says. But I know I am not gay.
Oh yeah I was living in Hollywood when i was 21 too. That life style is accepted there.

I went through a lot of hard ship Just to find out i was not gay. All from one guys sick act. I am married with kids and 37. I have had gay guys hit on me. I feel sorry for them, but I am secure with my sexuality to know i don't have to lash out at them. I am not going to catch gay and turn gay. I have had girls tell me I look gay and say, but that's a compliment because gay guys are hot. I don't get mad i laugh. I am secure with my sexuality. I guess straight guys are not supposed to be clean shaven, well dressed. In my deepest core I know I am not gay. It took me along time to work that out, but know I am on the other side. The answers to my questions. It did feel good at moment, its suppose to my body was reacting to it as the flesh does. I did not want it. I did nothing to ask for it. I did nothing wrong. I was a child. I am not gay.

when you are molested at a young age it sends you sex drive out of control. I still struggle with a very aggressive sex drive, and sexual energy. Not toward men but women.Note here the sexual energy is aggressive, i am not aggressive with women.

Just a little bit about me maybe it will show you I am not some whippy little man, and i struggle with these things. I studied Martial arts In Hollywood Ca, One of the best and famous teachers in martial arts he goes all the way back to Bruce lee they did not get along. I was a body builder at one time, I also played football. I was in training to be a Navy Seal, but an injury kept me from service. People tend to walk on the other side of the street when i come down it. Which is funny because i am currently getting my degree to be a preacher. My heart is full of Love, peace, and mercy. I have found my peace, and the spirit of peace is literally Jesus Christ. I hope something I said helps you find yours.

Peace and Love
blu