please help. it feels like my life is falling apart.

[Godislove94]

School is starting soon and I can't find another job because God keeps saying no. My car is getting ready to fall apart and I don't have any money to fix it. I'm barely going to have enough money for the semester and may come up short even though God at one point promised me I'd be back (I posted it in advice back in June). On top of it all I've recently found out I suffer from two serious psychiatric illnesses (bipolar 2 and borderline personality disorder). I haven't prayed or read for awhile because doing so is very traumatic after leaving my other church. I feel like God is punishing me and all I want to do is run from Him and hide because I don't feel safe and am afraid that if I go back to Him he'll hurt me and I'll end up like I was in the other church. At this point I'm even hoping and begging that there's another benevolent diety out there who will rescue me from God and what is happening to me. I'm losing my mind and just feel like I want to die. Help!

 

[Svt4Him]

Help? How about pray for the fear of God as you've now put Him sub-par to a deity that will make you happy. God doesn't care if you're comfortable or happy, He wants you holy. And your story doesn't make sense. You don't pray but God just says no as soon as you want to look for a job? My advice, get help. Wisdom is found with other people, and when you are alone, the probability of getting deceived increases.

 

[mmksparbud]

He has sent you some help--you have been diagnosed with 2 psychiatric disorders--that means you've have seen a dr--and then you must have been given medication for it---are you taking it? How do you think you can get a job or keep a job with 2 serious illnesses without you doing anything about the illnesses? God answered your prayer for help, first thing that is needed is not a job you won't be able to handle, but help for your illness so you can get well enough to get a job and keep it.

 

[com7fy8]

God is not just a fixer.

"Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." (James 4:7)

I need to pray, first by being still while our Father corrects me and gets me how He wants me to be with Him in His peace, then see what He has me doing, even moment by moment > "The LORD will guide you continually," we have in Isaiah 58:11) > why go on "time out" from our Father and His continual guiding in His peace? I need to first submit to God, each day, before I can even think right, never mind do anything Otherwise, I am instant mess and my day is a mess!

Jesus says,

"'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:28-29)

So, Jesus is the One who is "gentle and lowly" with us; Jesus is not the one who wastes people with stress and frustration and unforgiveness and guilt and shame and crazy anger and lusts > Satan is the one who abuses people with that stuff; and there are people who have God and Satan mixed up, claiming that "God" is treating them badly and not listening to them. We are the ones who need to listen, in prayer.

Satan is not God!!!! Satan is the one who guilt-trips and shames us . . . or tries to. Possibly, you would not keep putting up with someone who lies to you and abuses you; so don't let Satan mess you with his worry. Worry is abusive and a pathological liar with thinking which does not bring our attention to God, does not have us enjoying our Father and our Groom Jesus while loving one another, and worry does not have us obeying God in His peace >

God corrects us (Hebrews 12:4-11) so we are with Him in His peace ruling us in our hearts >

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)

And Jesus has us loving the church people who don't know how to love us > "For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46)

These things are right in the Bible, in our basic love calling as Christians > say yes to this, and you will discover how God says yes to you

 

[madera23]

God is not just a fixer.

"Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." (James 4:7)

I need to pray, first by being still while our Father corrects me and gets me how He wants me to be with Him in His peace, then see what He has me doing, even moment by moment > "The LORD will guide you continually," we have in Isaiah 58:11) > why go on "time out" from our Father and His continual guiding in His peace? I need to first submit to God, each day, before I can even think right, never mind do anything Otherwise, I am instant mess and my day is a mess!

Jesus says,

"'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:28-29)

So, Jesus is the One who is "gentle and lowly" with us; Jesus is not the one who wastes people with stress and frustration and unforgiveness and guilt and shame and crazy anger and lusts > Satan is the one who abuses people with that stuff; and there are people who have God and Satan mixed up, claiming that "God" is treating them badly and not listening to them. We are the ones who need to listen, in prayer.

Satan is not God!!!! Satan is the one who guilt-trips and shames us . . . or tries to. Possibly, you would not keep putting up with someone who lies to you and abuses you; so don't let Satan mess you with his worry. Worry is abusive and a pathological liar with thinking which does not bring our attention to God, does not have us enjoying our Father and our Groom Jesus while loving one another, and worry does not have us obeying God in His peace >

God corrects us (Hebrews 12:4-11) so we are with Him in His peace ruling us in our hearts >

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)

And Jesus has us loving the church people who don't know how to love us > "For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46)

These things are right in the Bible, in our basic love calling as Christians > say yes to this, and you will discover how God says yes to you

 

[looking4joy]

Help? How about pray for the fear of God as you've now put Him sub-par to a deity that will make you happy. God doesn't care if you're comfortable or happy, He wants you holy. And your story doesn't make sense. You don't pray but God just says no as soon as you want to look for a job? My advice, get help. Wisdom is found with other people, and when you are alone, the probability of getting deceived increases.

HEY buddy, your story doesn't make sense! You're telling him he needs to get help from people, and this is exactly what he's trying to do by putting his problem out on a forum!! You're not helping him but telling him how wrong he is. Are you living in love, brother?

And besides, you evidently have NO idea what mental illness is about. It will cause people to have delusions. DON'T get on him like this. He needs loving support, balm for his wound, not a clanging gong like your response!

Just to straighten your response out, he already fears God. He is too afraid of Him. Perfect love casts out fear, and so he needs to see the love of God in his life. His heart needs to immersed in the flood of God's love. God will reveal His favor to him. The second deity thing is part of the delusion from having bipolar II. I have bipolar I, and I can relate. I really believe the OP is walking in the shadow of the valley of death, and Christ is holding onto him.

My response to you has been harsh, but I felt like something had to be done upon reading your response. I usually don't blow up like this, but I had to correct you, brother, because the OP is a real person with real problems and needs real support and real love. He doesn't need someone to point out his sins. I think he's all too familiar with them.

 

[madera23]

School is starting soon and I can't fiis mot why you should want another job because God keeps saying no. My car is getting ready to fall apart and I don't have any money to fix it. I'm barely going to have enough money for the semester and may come up short even though God at one point promised me I'd be back (I posted it in advice back in June). On top of it all I've recently found out I suffer from twgo serious psychiatric illnesses (bipolar 2 and borderline personality disorder). I haven't prayed or read for awhile because doing so is very traumatic after leaving my other church. I feel like God is punishing me and all I want to do is run from Him and hide because I don't feel safe and am afraid that if I go back to Him he'll hurt me and I'll end up like I was in the other church. At this point I'm even hoping and begging that there's another benevolent diety out there who will rescue me from God and what is happening to me. I'm losing my mind and just feel like I want to die. Help!

God is not just a fixer.

"Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." (James 4:7)

I need to pray, first by being still while our Father corrects me and gets me how He wants me to be with Him in His peace, then see what He has me doing, even moment by moment > "The LORD will guide you continually," we have in Isaiah 58:11) > why go on "time out" from our Father and His continual guiding in His peace? I need to first submit to God, each day, before I can even think right, never mind do anything Otherwise, I am instant mess and my day is a mess!

Jesus says,

"'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:28-29)

So, Jesus is the One who is "gentle and lowly" with us; Jesus is not the one who wastes people with stress and frustration and unforgiveness and guilt and shame and crazy anger and lusts > Satan is the one who abuses people with that stuff; and there are people who have God and Satan mixed up, claiming that "God" is treating them badly and not listening to them. We are the ones who need to listen, in prayer.

Satan is not God!!!! Satan is the one who guilt-trips and shames us . . . or tries to. Possibly, you would not keep putting up with someone who lies to you and abuses you; so don't let Satan mess you with his worry. Worry is abusive and a pathological liar with thinking which does not bring our attention to God, does not have us enjoying our Father and our Groom Jesus while loving one another, and worry does not have us obeying God in His peace >

God corrects us (Hebrews 12:4-11) so we are with Him in His peace ruling us in our hearts >

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)

And Jesus has us loving the church people who don't know how to love us > "For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?" (in Matthew 5:46)

These things are right in the Bible, in our basic love calling as Christians > say yes to this, and you will discover how God says yes to you

It seems that most so called christians get religious to get something from
GOD, THERE IS NO HUNGERING TO DO WHAT GOD WANTS FROM YOU.
WHAT YOU PEOPLE NEED TO DO IS STOP PRAYING ON THE INTERNET AN QUIETLY GO INTO YOUR CLOSETS AND PRAY THERE.. With your attitudes you are not worthy of anything.
Finish

 

[Zandy12]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this pain, I will pray for you. Living with a mental illness is hard, but you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. Don't forget that the devil is also trying to ruin your life as well. In the end, pray to god for the strength to fight this. Get back into church, get some help, and stay strong. I felt like that before, where I thought I'd be better off dead, but eventually I ended up in the ER and regret making that decision everyday. In the end you can fight this, don't believe the lies. Talk to somebody, please get help.

 

[looking4joy]

School is starting soon and I can't find another job because God keeps saying no. My car is getting ready to fall apart and I don't have any money to fix it. I'm barely going to have enough money for the semester and may come up short even though God at one point promised me I'd be back (I posted it in advice back in June). On top of it all I've recently found out I suffer from two serious psychiatric illnesses (bipolar 2 and borderline personality disorder). I haven't prayed or read for awhile because doing so is very traumatic after leaving my other church. I feel like God is punishing me and all I want to do is run from Him and hide because I don't feel safe and am afraid that if I go back to Him he'll hurt me and I'll end up like I was in the other church. At this point I'm even hoping and begging that there's another benevolent diety out there who will rescue me from God and what is happening to me. I'm losing my mind and just feel like I want to die. Help!

Godislove94,
I can totally relate to you. I have bipolar I, where I get delusional in manic states along with long periods of depression. I have found that when I get spiritual glimpses of God's love for me, it transcends every confusion and every doubt I have. The problem is I am practically blind and can't see the Light shining right in front of me.

I have been struggling with this for years. But it's getting better. God is not punishing you. You realize through baptism, you've been united with Jesus in His death and resurrection, right? He's leading you through the shadow of the valley of death right now. He's holding onto you, you're not holding onto Him for your eternal security. He's got you.

I also had a poor experience with a legalistic church that didn't understand my mental illness, and the habitual sins I was involved with turned them away instead of them helping me, they cut me off from the possibility of joining the church. So I finally found another church, with God's leading hand I am sure. And now I understand and believe God is with me, but I still have my times where I am crying in doubt and fear. Bipolar is a tough one. The manic episodes include psychosis many times, which means you have paranoia and delusions. These are common, and are totally a chemical thing. It's not you. God knows who you are for real, even if you forget who you are. God loves you for who you really are. Just be yourself around Him.

Blessings,

looking4joy

 

[madera23]

HEY buddy, your story doesn't make sense! You're telling him he needs to get help from people, and this is exactly what he's trying to do by putting his problem out on a forum!! You're not helping him but telling him how wrong he is. Are you living in love, brother?

And besides, you evidently have NO idea what mental illness is about. It will cause people to have delusions. DON'T get on him like this. He needs loving support, balm for his wound, not a clanging gong like your response!

Just to straighten your response out, he already fears God. He is too afraid of Him. Perfect love casts out fear, and so he needs to see the love of God in his life. His heart needs to immersed in the flood of God's love. God will reveal His favor to him. The second deity thing is part of the delusion from having bipolar II. I have bipolar I, and I can relate. I really believe the OP is walking in the shadow of the valley of death, and Christ is holding onto him.

My response to you has been harsh, but I felt like something had to be done upon reading your response. I usually don't blow up like this, but I had to correct you, brother, because the OP is a real person with real problems and needs real support and real love. He doesn't need someone to point out his sins. I think he's all too familiar with them.

 

[madera23]

He is not afraid of god, the entity in him is and he is identifying with it.
He is an angry person and it is keeping the entity alive, it lives on anger

It is the cause of his mental problems.
He needs to forgive his past hatreds.
It needs to fall apart, then god will rebuild it.
madera

 

[KimT]

School is starting soon and I can't find another job because God keeps saying no. My car is getting ready to fall apart and I don't have any money to fix it. I'm barely going to have enough money for the semester and may come up short even though God at one point promised me I'd be back (I posted it in advice back in June). On top of it all I've recently found out I suffer from two serious psychiatric illnesses (bipolar 2 and borderline personality disorder). I haven't prayed or read for awhile because doing so is very traumatic after leaving my other church. I feel like God is punishing me and all I want to do is run from Him and hide because I don't feel safe and am afraid that if I go back to Him he'll hurt me and I'll end up like I was in the other church. At this point I'm even hoping and begging that there's another benevolent diety out there who will rescue me from God and what is happening to me. I'm losing my mind and just feel like I want to die. Help!

Please read this carefully. Your mental illness is confusing you. God loves you. Jesus died for your sins. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and that means your whole body, including your brain. Your brain has a disease (the psychiatric illnesses.) This is no different than if your heart or lungs were diseased. You need medical care and counseling. When your medication is regulated and you are in counseling, your brain chemistry will go back into balance. Once that happens, you will get your peace back. God is NOT punishing you. You have a medical condition that affects the way you think. Tend to that and know that God will ALWAYS love you. Once you are feeling better, you will be able to make better decisions. God bless you.

 

[madera23]

Please read this carefully. Your mental illness is confusing you. God loves you. Jesus died for your sins. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and that means your whole body, including your brain. Your brain has a disease (the psychiatric illnesses.) This is no different than if your heart or lungs were diseased. You need medical care and counseling. When your medication is regulated and you are in counseling, your brain chemistry will go back into balance. Once that happens, you will get your peace back. God is NOT punishing you. You have a medical condition that affects the way you think. Tend to that and know that God will ALWAYS love you. Once you are feeling better, you will be able to make better decisions. God bless you.

 

[madera23]

WRONG. he has a spiritual condition and meds will only cover up the symptoms.
God will help heal his condition
Oh ye of little faith in God.
the meds are your god..
you know nothing of how God works.

 

[KimT]

WRONG. he has a spiritual condition and meds will only cover up the symptoms.
God will help heal his condition
Oh ye of little faith in God.
the meds are your god..
you know nothing of how God works.

With God all things are possible. Paul told Timothy to take some wine for his stomach. Yes, God can perform a spontaneous healing! Meds are NOT my God! How dare you say that...have you not read my other posts. The OP needs medical help. If he was having a heart attack, would you tell him to wait? You know nothing of brain chemistry disorders.

 

[mmksparbud]

WRONG. he has a spiritual condition and meds will only cover up the symptoms.
God will help heal his condition
Oh ye of little faith in God.
the meds are your god..
you know nothing of how God works.

Apparently, it is you who don't know Him too well. He uses medical knowledge to help heal, also. He is not in the habit of waving a magic wand to cure all our ills. He gives us nature and the knowledge we have acquired over the years so that we can help ourselves. We have to work for what we eat, He doesn't just fill the table with food. And we have to work around floods, and drought and all sorts of setbacks. The spiritual blindness is yours, not the OP. The meds will help, it is criminal to force someone into thinking that the problem is one of lack of faith when it is simply a lack of certain chemicals in the brain, and very, very foolish.
I have mentioned this in other posts, but I'll restate this. A friend of mine had a problem with her head tilting to the side, so much so that it eventually was almost on her shoulder. Several doctors told her it was all in her mind, her friends, including me, were starting to think so to. She was told it was just her need of attention. She was starting to doubt her faith, her own sanity. She finally went to yet one more doctor, who she discovered when she went in his office, had many such patients as herself. It was a relief just to see there were others like her. She has to take a pill for the rest of her life, her head gradually straightened out---a simple chemical imbalance. I was a dialysis tech fir 20 years and a respiratory therapist for 7---God does work miracles---but more often than not--we have to deal with our problems with the medical help we have available. That is why God has given that knowledge to others. So we can help each other. We learn more from our problems than our joys. He is not a fairy godmother. And be very careful that God doesn't put you in a position to find out. God is not too fond of the proud.

 

[Zandy12]

He is not afraid of god, the entity in him is and he is identifying with it.
He is an angry person and it is keeping the entity alive, it lives on anger

It is the cause of his mental problems.
He needs to forgive his past hatreds.
It needs to fall apart, then god will rebuild it.
madera

In a way mandera23, even though the way you presented it was pretty cheap, you are right in a sense. Some of the suffering of a mental illness is in a persons control regardless of how much it affects them or allows it to. But mental health isn't just something that is non-contingent, mental illness is as real as cancer or a physical injury, it is a result of sin entering the world. Bipolar 2 is a serious disorder in which forgiving past hatreds doesn't just happen overnight, and prayer alone won't work. As a result he would need to find help (which we are doing of course, but we can only help so much on a forum site) to treat his condition. Fighting a mental illness on a daily basis is literally the feeling of fighting off a demon, that is bestowed in your mind, for years and years. OP definitely needs a loving community, I would love the same thing myself. In today's world, our immediate coping resources are limited now that everything mankind does is backwards, but with god all things are possible, and OP will find what he is looking for and will find the right people he needs in his life. But that alone as well won't help treat it. In the end, with support, prayer, and treatment, all these together should do the job.

 

[madera23]

S

With God all things are possible. Paul told Timothy to take some wine for his stomach. Yes, God can perform a spontaneous healing! Meds are NOT my God! How dare you say that...have you not read my other posts. The OP needs medical help. If he was having a heart attack, would you tell him to wait? You know nothing of brain chemistry disorders.

some christian, "how dare you?,
You havent been healed of your anger I see.
this was no heart attack, he is dealing with a demon.

he probably is on meds after getting his doctors diagnosis.
every think of that?
no I have not read your posts, just as well.

 

[madera23]

Apparently, it is yit or not.

u who don't know Him too well. He uses medical knowledge to help heal, also. He is not in the habit of waving a magic wand to cure all our ills. He gives us nature and the knowledge we have acquired over the years so that we can help ourselves. We have to work for what we eat, He doesn't just fill the table with food. And we have to work around floods, and drought and all sorts of setbacks. The spiritual blindness is yours, not the OP. The meds will help, it is criminal to force someone into thinking that the problem is one of lack of faith when it is simply a lack of certain chemicals in the brain, and very, very foolish.
I have mentioned this in other posts, but I'll restate this. A friend of mine had a problem with her head tilting to the side, so much so that it eventually was almost on her shoulder. Several doctors told her it was all in her mind, her friends, including me, were starting to think so to. She was told it was just her need of attention. She was starting to doubt her faith, her own sanity. She finally went to yet one more doctor, who she discovered when she went in his office, had many such patients as herself. It was a relief just to see there were others like her. She has to take a pill for the rest of her life, her head gradually straightened out---a simple chemical imbalance. I was a dialysis tech fir 20 years and a respiratory therapist for 7---God does work miracles---but more often than not--we have to deal with our problems with the medical help we have available. That is why God has given that knowledge to others. So we can help each other. We learn more from our problems than our joys. He is not a fairy godmother. And be very careful that God doesn't put you in a position to find out. God is not too fond of the proud.

His problem was the cause of a demon brought on by anger.
Every has one whether you know.
I know personally, I used to be very angry and one night I had an exorcism and was healed of other lifetime illnesses i suffered
since I was a child.
the entity can cause changes in the bodys chemistry.
pills only covers up the symptoms.
even bipolar.

only God can heal in His way. God even does exorcisms.
madera

 

[mmksparbud]

I suggest you get another one, and leave this OP alone. Just a suggestion of course, we are not allowed to prescribe.