Please help and please pray.

[VerySadMom]

Thank you for your prayers, they really mean a lot to me. Can I please ask you to continue to pray for my daughter and for me? She tried to kill herself yesterday. She is okay for now. She is now in a mental institution for a while. This is totally not expected from the kind of girl she is. She is a church going, saved, virgin, and a really good-hearted kid. She has friends, but they are mostly steering her in the wrong direction. She knows it is against the Lord to end her life, and I think that is why she ultimately did not do it. Praise the Lord. I am at my wits end and don't know what else to do. I've taken her to a Christian psychiatrist, I've talked with her many times about her life, but she continues to lie to me at every turn. She just wants to live her life the way she wants to live it. I've received materials from Focus on the Family, I've tried to love her through all of it, but it is not working.


To make a really long story short, she was going to run away yesterday, and brought a friend to my home while I was still at work, and the friend went out her window when I came home. This friend is supposedly straight and has a boyfriend, but who knows what the truth is anymore. She said her friend was going to help her run away to some boys house, I don't even know. I told her I was going to get on the phone with the police to let them know what the plan was and to have them speak to her friends parents as well. When I picked up the phone to call, she got up and picked up a knife and pointed it at her stomach and said she was going to kill herself. I had 911 on the line while all this was happening. I asked her to put down the knife at least a dozen times, and she ran into the bathroom with the knife and locked the door. The police wanted to talk with her on the phone, so I said they want to talk with you, and she opened the door and when I gave her the phone I was able to get the knife away from her. Praise the Lord. Now, I cannot return to this site often, but would surely appreciate your prayers and some good advice if you would be able to help. Thank you so much. VerySadMom

 

[thepianist]

Please help me with my daughter. She is 14 years old, gave her life to Christ when she was 12, and now claims she is a lesbian. She has only kissed a girl, but that is enough.

I do not know what to do, I've cried, I've prayed. I love the Lord with every fiber of my being, and know that all tribulation will eventually glorify Him. In the meantime, I could really use some advice. Please help us to sort this out. I will check in from time to time and any help or advice is truly welcomed.

Also, we really need prayer, please pray for her to find her way back to Christ, and to be unconfused about her sexuality. Please pray that God steers her in the right direction towards hetrosexuality and to like boys. May He bless you for your intercessional efforts on our behalf. Thank you.

I'm so very sorry to hear of the problem your daughter is having. The devil sure likes to keep working extra hard on our children (us too for that matter)! Please know that this situation will be in my prayers, dear.

 

[MatthewPoole]

Man, that is sad.


I shall be praying for that poor girl.

-MP

 

[InnerPhyre]

I hope you'll allow me to offer some advice here.


Just keep praying and wait...and don't freak out just yet. Being a lesbian is the "in thing" for girls your daughter's age these days because the boys think it's hot when two girls kiss. They get attention and furthermore they have a whole new group of people they can now fit in with. I tend to think that much of this is just a passing event with kids these days. It's tragic that we have to live in such times. Return quickly, Lord.

 

[VerySadMom]

Hi, thank you for your advice, it is really appreciated. I haven't been on here in a long time, but I appreciate your messages. It helps me to know there is someone out there who wants to help. I wish I could answer all your questions, but let me tell you the latest at least. The reason I am on here now is the latest thing I found out this morning. My daughter is no longer a virgin. I can't even describe to you how this breaks my heart. She said well mom, you said how great it would be when I would be with a man. Nice. She blames me because she wanted to see what it was like. I have always raised her to wait until marriage, even when I said someday you will know how great it could be with a man...she took that someday and couldn't wait. Thank the Lord she is not pregnant, but I don't know what to expect next...I was feeling so great about life just the past week or so, she has been doing better in school and everything...even wearing pink and thinking more girlish thoughts, but this is just too much the other way, besides she still insists she is a lesbian because she hated it. She is so confused and niave (sp) The first time is always horrible, but I won't tell her that now for fear that she will want to try it until it feels good. Sorry I am being blunt. I am in shock that she has given something so precious away so easily. I am just going through the motions today, and grieving so hard for her. My heart is crying for her lost virginity and what could have been in her life with a good Christian husband someday. I don't want to run her life, but I want her to have the best life, and knowing what I know now all I can do is tell her what God's best for her is, only it seems to me she will be one who will have to learn the hard way. I don't know what I can do. I am trying to love her through all of this, but it is really wearing on my nerves. It is kind of like being on the most horrible roller coaster ride from hell. I just want to get off. Please pray for us. We have a lot of fun stuff planned for the next two weeks, and my heart is not in it now. I'm broken again.

 

[ZiSunka]

Please help me with my daughter. She is 14 years old, gave her life to Christ when she was 12, and now claims she is a lesbian. She has only kissed a girl, but that is enough.

I do not know what to do, I've cried, I've prayed. I love the Lord with every fiber of my being, and know that all tribulation will eventually glorify Him. In the meantime, I could really use some advice. Please help us to sort this out. I will check in from time to time and any help or advice is truly welcomed.

Also, we really need prayer, please pray for her to find her way back to Christ, and to be unconfused about her sexuality. Please pray that God steers her in the right direction towards hetrosexuality and to like boys. May He bless you for your intercessional efforts on our behalf. Thank you.

What a terrible shock to any mom! I will continue to pray for your daughter and for you.

I do think the best thing is to not make a big deal out of it right now, though, because a lot of young girls her age say things to shock mom, or they are confused about what a lesbian is. I had a couple friends in high school and college that thought they were lesbians, but ended up getting married and having children and staying happily married. One of them now has a grandchild!

Hang in there!

 

[VerySadMom]

What a terrible shock to any mom! I will continue to pray for your daughter and for you.

I do think the best thing is to not make a big deal out of it right now, though, because a lot of young girls her age say things to shock mom, or they are confused about what a lesbian is. I had a couple friends in high school and college that thought they were lesbians, but ended up getting married and having children and staying happily married. One of them now has a grandchild!

Hang in there!

Thank you so much, and what good advice. However, our situation has changed a little bit since she was 14 - see post #25 above, she is now 15:

Hi, thank you for your advice, it is really appreciated. I haven't been on here in a long time, but I appreciate your messages. It helps me to know there is someone out there who wants to help. I wish I could answer all your questions, but let me tell you the latest at least. The reason I am on here now is the latest thing I found out this morning. My daughter is no longer a virgin. I can't even describe to you how this breaks my heart. She said well mom, you said how great it would be when I would be with a man. Nice. She blames me because she wanted to see what it was like. I have always raised her to wait until marriage, even when I said someday you will know how great it could be with a man...she took that someday and couldn't wait. Thank the Lord she is not pregnant, but I don't know what to expect next...I was feeling so great about life just the past week or so, she has been doing better in school and everything...even wearing pink and thinking more girlish thoughts, but this is just too much the other way, besides she still insists she is a lesbian because she hated it. She is so confused and niave (sp) The first time is always horrible, but I won't tell her that now for fear that she will want to try it until it feels good. Sorry I am being blunt. I am in shock that she has given something so precious away so easily. I am just going through the motions today, and grieving so hard for her. My heart is crying for her lost virginity and what could have been in her life with a good Christian husband someday. I don't want to run her life, but I want her to have the best life, and knowing what I know now all I can do is tell her what God's best for her is, only it seems to me she will be one who will have to learn the hard way. I don't know what I can do. I am trying to love her through all of this, but it is really wearing on my nerves. It is kind of like being on the most horrible roller coaster ride from hell. I just want to get off. Please pray for us. We have a lot of fun stuff planned for the next two weeks, and my heart is not in it now. I'm broken again.

If you or anyone else has some good advice, I would love to hear it. Thanks again.

 

[ZiSunka]

If you or anyone else has some good advice, I would love to hear it. Thanks again.

She's at a turbulent age. You are doing the best thing when you pray for God to guide you and to take control of the situation. Nothing you do or say is going to make things better, so the only thing your agitation is doing is hurting you mentally and perhaps physically. It's really hard, but you can't go back and make her a virgin again, you can only accept that she did what she did and model Christ to her. Continue to be her mom, and love her like you always have. Let Christ's light shine through your love for her by being calm and loving.

Hang in there!

 

[VerySadMom]

She's at a turbulent age. You are doing the best thing when you pray for God to guide you and to take control of the situation. Nothing you do or say is going to make things better, so the only thing your agitation is doing is hurting you mentally and perhaps physically. It's really hard, but you can't go back and make her a virgin again, you can only accept that she did what she did and model Christ to her. Continue to be her mom, and love her like you always have. Let Christ's light shine through your love for her by being calm and loving.

Hang in there!

That is the best advice I've heard ever! Thank you so much for that! I will certainly be doing that and feel as if I can deal with this situation much better today. Thank you so much for showing Christ's heart and love to me today.

 

[Razorbuck]

She's at a turbulent age. You are doing the best thing when you pray for God to guide you and to take control of the situation. Nothing you do or say is going to make things better, so the only thing your agitation is doing is hurting you mentally and perhaps physically. It's really hard, but you can't go back and make her a virgin again, you can only accept that she did what she did and model Christ to her. Continue to be her mom, and love her like you always have. Let Christ's light shine through your love for her by being calm and loving.

Hang in there!

Very wise, Lambslove. Well said and Amen.

VerySadMom, I can only imagine your pain in this situation, and I grieve with you. Let us remember to put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61:3), and to rest upon the promise of Romans 8:28.

Also, He has said if we focus on Him rather than our circumstances, we will have peace. (Isaiah 26:3)

Be patient and trusting, beloved, and He will grant victory.

My prayers are with you.

 

[VerySadMom]

Very wise, Lambslove. Well said and Amen.

VerySadMom, I can only imagine your pain in this situation, and I grieve with you. Let us remember to put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61:3), and to rest upon the promise of Romans 8:28.

Also, He has said if we focus on Him rather than our circumstances, we will have peace. (Isaiah 26:3)

Be patient and trusting, beloved, and He will grant victory.

My prayers are with you.

Thank you. My focus has been and always will be on God. Good advice. We must also be realistic and practical. When we are going through the fire, we are not always focused on the silver that we will be when He is done with us, are we? I have been focused on Him throughout this entire ordeal that I am having to go through with my teenage daughter, but still need the support of other believers as I am going through it. Your advice is appreciated, and I need to hear it all the time to focus on the Lord, even though I do. Hope that makes sense. Thanks again very much.

 

[Razorbuck]

Thank you. My focus has been and always will be on God. Good advice. We must also be realistic and practical. When we are going through the fire, we are not always focused on the silver that we will be when He is done with us, are we? I have been focused on Him throughout this entire ordeal that I am having to go through with my teenage daughter, but still need the support of other believers as I am going through it. Your advice is appreciated, and I need to hear it all the time to focus on the Lord, even though I do. Hope that makes sense. Thanks again very much.

Yes ma'am. I did not mean to imply you weren't focused on God, (your posts clearly show you are) just offering scripture promising peace during your distress.

Please forgive my clumsy use of the language. I'm not the most articulate fellow on the board for a fact!

 

[VerySadMom]

Yes ma'am. I did not mean to imply you weren't focused on God, (your posts clearly show you are) just offering scripture promising peace during your distress.

Please forgive my clumsy use of the language. I'm not the most articulate fellow on the board for a fact!

Oh no, you're fine. Thank you for the Word offering His promising peace, it was and is greatly appreciated.

Anyone else know how I can handle this situation???

 

[zhilan]

I haven't read through all the posts so maybe people have already said this, but 14 is very young, especially for girls. I've noticed that quite a few girls go through a "lesbian" phase when they are dealing with various emotional issues and then once they deal with those other issues they go on to be completely heterosexual, and these people that I have in mind are not even Christians so it was not even out of religious conviction that they switched back. It was just becuase they were confusing their sexuality for other emotional issues. Just try to be supportive of your daughter and let her see how much you love her and are there to help support her through all issues. This may be a life long struggle for her, but considering how young she is, I'd say more likely this is just a symptom of other confusion in her life.

 

[JPPT1974]

Praying for your daughter
As well as for you and your family
Just lean on the Lord
Let Him have His way with you all!

 

[arunma]

Hi, thank you for your advice, it is really appreciated. I haven't been on here in a long time, but I appreciate your messages. It helps me to know there is someone out there who wants to help. I wish I could answer all your questions, but let me tell you the latest at least. The reason I am on here now is the latest thing I found out this morning. My daughter is no longer a virgin. I can't even describe to you how this breaks my heart. She said well mom, you said how great it would be when I would be with a man. Nice. She blames me because she wanted to see what it was like. I have always raised her to wait until marriage, even when I said someday you will know how great it could be with a man...she took that someday and couldn't wait. Thank the Lord she is not pregnant, but I don't know what to expect next...I was feeling so great about life just the past week or so, she has been doing better in school and everything...even wearing pink and thinking more girlish thoughts, but this is just too much the other way, besides she still insists she is a lesbian because she hated it. She is so confused and niave (sp) The first time is always horrible, but I won't tell her that now for fear that she will want to try it until it feels good. Sorry I am being blunt. I am in shock that she has given something so precious away so easily. I am just going through the motions today, and grieving so hard for her. My heart is crying for her lost virginity and what could have been in her life with a good Christian husband someday. I don't want to run her life, but I want her to have the best life, and knowing what I know now all I can do is tell her what God's best for her is, only it seems to me she will be one who will have to learn the hard way. I don't know what I can do. I am trying to love her through all of this, but it is really wearing on my nerves. It is kind of like being on the most horrible roller coaster ride from hell. I just want to get off. Please pray for us. We have a lot of fun stuff planned for the next two weeks, and my heart is not in it now. I'm broken again.

I'm sorry to hear this. I'll certainly continue to make supplication for you before the Father and through Christ Jesus.

 

[kerrylee]

Dear very sad mom,
I have read through all these posts and many have given some great advice! I have a daughter who will be 14 in August and I cant imagine the pain and shock you are experiencing right now!
I am currently at Bible college, studying Counselling. Can I say to you, your daughter is facing some huge issues at the moment and I believe that the real issue is yet to addressed. You both need to see a good counsellor who will try to address the reason why your daughter feels the need to find love and acceptance in the wrong places!! Teenagers are desperate to find their place in the world and can be very confused as to where that is. Open , honest and non-judgemental communication is vital. You may be so devastated by her behaviour that it may be impossible to do this effectively without some help. Please seek help and I pray God will help you both!
Remember that she has a good heart, she does love God, she gave her life to Him, even though she may have lost sight of this temporarily. Just assure her of your love. She must know this if she is to trust any help you offer her. Its obvious how much you do love her, just keep telling her and showing it- teenagers need so much assurance!!
May God bless your efforts to help your daughter!

 

[JPPT1974]

Praying for you my friend
God bless you!