I think it really depends on where you live and who you hang out with.
A lot of gay people do as ohioprof has described. But I get the impression that the more isolating the place, such as the Bible Belt, the less likely you'll see it. Which is really unfortunate.
Fortunately, I live in a very accepting area and because of that I get to come into contact with a wide variety of gay people and many live completely normal lives.
As far as gay parades go, that has sparked controversy within the gay community as well. I have mixed feelings myself. Although some groups that march such as Pflag and groups like that are great and could not be considered "offensive" in their appearance. Others like the leather folks and half naked dudes are outrageous and I get that. Its all in fun. But other actually think that this is an actual portrayal of the everyday gay person. I don't think gay parades represent the community well.
As far of gay clubs/events/bars go... I've heard of gay clubs that would turn you away if you did show up in your underwear. But in general bars and clubs aren't family orientated places anyway. Go to any "straight" night club on halloween and see how the women there are dressed. Nothing family oriented about it.
Organizations such as massequality and pflag do a great job showing the family side of the gay community.
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