What is the difference between having a girlfriend/boyfriend and being in a courtship?
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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
Please explain the differences.
- Thread starter JulySheMustFly
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AutumnDreamer
Well-Known Member
tryinghard said:
This is my opinion, how I view the differences. Being in a courtship has the purpose of getting to know someone on a more intimate level to see if this is the person God intends for you to marry.
As for Boyfriend/Girlfriend, the only purpose I can see, is status. To be able to say you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Someone you can hold hands with, kiss, be alone with. Which IMO only leads to temptation and heartache.
This is my opinion, I am not saying that everyone should think this way, or I am right everyone else is wrong, this is simply what I believe.
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alwayz_remember_Calvery
Active Member
You say tomato, i say Tomatoe. To me, they're the two different words for the same thing.
Example:
My sister started "courting" her...whatever you call them, in February.
I started dating my boyfriend November of 2004.
Both of us (by us I mean my sister and her partner as one and me and my bf as the other) have talked about marriage. The only difference is they're a bit older than us. My sister is graduating college in april and i'm in my freshman year of college. I asked my parents permission to start dating my boyfriend, I don't think she did. Her partner is planning on asking my dad if he can marry my sister and I believe my bf will too. I personally don't see the difference between my relationship and my sisters. We just call it different things.
Example:
My sister started "courting" her...whatever you call them, in February.
I started dating my boyfriend November of 2004.
Both of us (by us I mean my sister and her partner as one and me and my bf as the other) have talked about marriage. The only difference is they're a bit older than us. My sister is graduating college in april and i'm in my freshman year of college. I asked my parents permission to start dating my boyfriend, I don't think she did. Her partner is planning on asking my dad if he can marry my sister and I believe my bf will too. I personally don't see the difference between my relationship and my sisters. We just call it different things.
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L
lacedinlavender
Guest
I use "dating" and "courting" interchangeably, though I know that many people feel that courtship is more often than not something that will lead toward marriage, whereas dating is more of a casual thing.
For me, I say that I am dating my boyfriend, but that doesn't make our relationship any less serious or less centered on Christ. I usually try to make a distinction that my boyfriend and I are not dating just to date, but are dating to marry, since sometimes it is something that can be misinterpreted. I don't want people to think that what we have is just a casual thing, because it's not.
Like alwayz_remember_Calvary said, people just use different terms to describe things that are more or less the same.
Jen
For me, I say that I am dating my boyfriend, but that doesn't make our relationship any less serious or less centered on Christ. I usually try to make a distinction that my boyfriend and I are not dating just to date, but are dating to marry, since sometimes it is something that can be misinterpreted. I don't want people to think that what we have is just a casual thing, because it's not.
Like alwayz_remember_Calvary said, people just use different terms to describe things that are more or less the same.
Jen
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invisiblebabe
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To me, boyfriend/girlfriend is dating with no purposeful intentions of marriage, just more or less "seeing what happens." Courting is dating with the intention of seeing if you could get married one day in the near future.
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Thanks for the replies. This pretty much confirmed what I was thinking. They are two words that essentially accomplish the same thing if those participating are looking for someone to marry eventually.
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I'd say courtship is the homeschooler's reaction towards the dating scene...
I'd also be as bold as to say that this idea of courtship can be just as destructive to our relationships as dating can. Whatever happened to just pursuing Godly relationships with one another? Maybe we need to be teaching our kids how to have Godly relationships instead of "no dating" until ...
blah. There can be no differences and there can be all the differences in the world between the two. Ultimately, I think we need to focus on having Godly relationships with one another instead of trying to put everything into a "courting" box or a "dating" box.
ok I'm done.
I'd also be as bold as to say that this idea of courtship can be just as destructive to our relationships as dating can. Whatever happened to just pursuing Godly relationships with one another? Maybe we need to be teaching our kids how to have Godly relationships instead of "no dating" until ...
blah. There can be no differences and there can be all the differences in the world between the two. Ultimately, I think we need to focus on having Godly relationships with one another instead of trying to put everything into a "courting" box or a "dating" box.
ok I'm done.
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YouthPastor
Name = Brett
ALot of people use both interchangeable.alwayz_remember_Calvery said:
SOme use courtship - but they really mean dating but they want it to sound better.
Courtship to the full extent is along these lines:
The guy feels like a certain lady might be the one (this would be a lady he is already familar with, freinds with etc) he then goes to his parents - gets them to pray about it - if they also feel that she may be the one - the guy goes to her parents and explains sverything to them and asks them to pray - if they also feell that maybe they are to be together - they go to the girl and ask her to pray.
If everyone thinks that possible this may be of God - the couple start "getting together" usually at one of the families homes (in the past it was the girls home) .
There is very little "alone" time where the couple could do anything physical.
That is the "full" version (simplified).
Dating on the other hand is pretty much just getting together - usually with no purpose (long term purpose anyway).
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AutumnDreamer
Well-Known Member
YouthPastor said:
This is exactly what I think of as courting. To me this is teaching our children about God's place in their relationships.
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YouthPastor
Name = Brett
I vary it alittle for what I recomend teens do in my youth group - but regardless of whether a person dates or courts - it should be with someone they are already friends with. this removes the masks that people wear when entering a relationship with some one that they really do not know.
Courting to the full extent can be alittle difficult because teachnically - everyone involved has to know what courtship is - and most don't - so I very it alittle.
Courting to the full extent can be alittle difficult because teachnically - everyone involved has to know what courtship is - and most don't - so I very it alittle.
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VonKarman
Active Member
To me, "courting" sounds a bit old-fashioned but means almost the same as dating. I also think the word courting carries more of a connotation of exclusivity. You would be "courting" a person with intent to pursue a serious relationship.
As was stated before, even the term "dating" can have different levels of meaning depending on the individuals involved. I think it's important to establish your definition of the word when you DO decide to court / date so that there are no misconceptions.
To me, dating is casually getting to know each other. Of course, dating can lead to a more serious relationship.
As was stated before, even the term "dating" can have different levels of meaning depending on the individuals involved. I think it's important to establish your definition of the word when you DO decide to court / date so that there are no misconceptions.
To me, dating is casually getting to know each other. Of course, dating can lead to a more serious relationship.
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