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Physical Boundaries
- Thread starter Glorianna
- Start date
I
Inperfected
Guest
Mmmm... I think there are two things about it... One we have to know 'what' sets our other off, and so not do it. (i.e. i don't touch his wrists or feet... :S)
And also we have to listen to our head saying when to stop, and then put our boundries up for that time, just before that point.
And also we have to listen to our head saying when to stop, and then put our boundries up for that time, just before that point.
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Inperfected said:
Right. It's better to be safe than sorry. So if you're not sure if something would tempt you, don't do it.
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I
Inperfected
Guest
I once heard a saying, "Temptation is great! Its what you do with that temptation that can be bad.."
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- Dec 30, 2004
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The furthest we go is a kiss on the cheek. I see nothing wrong with hugs or holding hands or even a kiss on the lips.We have just made the decision that a kiss on the cheek goodnight was as far as we would go. You do have to be careful of temptations, but we both have very good self control so this works for us.
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KristianJ
What's in a name? Letters...
Inperfected said:
I'd tend to disagree with the originator of the saying given the presence of exhortations in Paul's letters to flee temptation (can't recall the verse) and the line of the Lord's Prayer "Lead us not into temptation". Anything that can potentially draw us away from God and behaviour in line with his commands can't be considered great, IMHO.
If you consider James 1:17:[BIBLE]James 1:17[/BIBLE]
it's clear that temptation is not a thing that comes from God. I can't think of a temptation that could possibly be godly, although I am open to correction if there is.
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Yeah, I would tend to agree with KristianJ but I should also add that temptation can be a lot of fun too. That makes it hard sometimes.
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I
Inperfected
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Mm... I think what the originator means is that we are likely to get tempted, and it is great as when we resist the temptation, it strengthens our wills and conscience..
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This is something that you totally have to decide for yourself, I think, because you know how far is too far for you. You know what opens up temptation for you, and you know what you feel comfortable with. The important thing is communication though, its important to be aware of how your partner might be turned on so that u can avoid it. Reading the signals is essential. Some people can't go beyond hugging. Personally I don't go beyond hugging and kissing (no tongues), but i feel comfortable sleeping next to my boyfriend knowing that theres no temptation there. That's not the same for everybody and I wouldn't reccomend it unless you totally know where you and your partner are at. (I should probably mention that the reason I know theres no temptation is because I was sexually abused, and so my boyfriend would never so much as push the boundaries, thats quite a big reason- it's not enough to just say "oh it'll be ok").
It's not like we sleep next to each other just cause we fancy it either- he lives far away and when he visits theres no spare beds/sofas right now! When the living situations change then there'll be no reason for us to sleep next to each other, and so we wont. So just to clarify I'm not encouraging everyone to go sleeping in the same bed as their partners, for most people our situation would probably present a lot of temptation.
It's not like we sleep next to each other just cause we fancy it either- he lives far away and when he visits theres no spare beds/sofas right now! When the living situations change then there'll be no reason for us to sleep next to each other, and so we wont. So just to clarify I'm not encouraging everyone to go sleeping in the same bed as their partners, for most people our situation would probably present a lot of temptation.
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Yeah, communication with your SO is definitely key. You need to know what will tempt them and they need to know what will tempt you so that you can avoid it.
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I
Inperfected
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Yup, it wasn't quite phrased that way... Partly just me forgetting it in it's completeness
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R
R4JC
Guest
No kissing/touching or anything beyond that...(Also, you should avoid the "I LOVE YOU's" because it kind of stirs something inside you...) the belief in our fellowship is to date to marry...I totally agree with this. Don't you want the person that you marry to know that you have given your complete heart to them...and not many others before? So keep the STANDARDS HIGH...it's hard, I know..but just ask Jesus to give you his strength in that area. So GOOD LUCK in that exciting journey of courtship!
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lawtonfogle
My solace my terror, my terror my solace.
well im headed off to boarding school, so I guess their rules which stop at no prolong kissing, no siting on anothers lap, no laying down close to each other, ect. but i should not have a problem because Im leaving that specail someone behind, and when we are together, well she does not even know my feeling for her so it is as of right now 'no looking at her face for more that 1 sec, and no sitting near her, no talking to her more than anyone else, ect.'
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I like your caption lawtonfogle: I want to leave a legacy, so they will remeber God. That's awesome!
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YoursTruely45
Active Member
We have set alot because beings that we know we are getting married its really hard! We dont allow ourselves to be alone in any place that has a door. Funny as it sounds it really takes the temptation level down! We really go no furthur with kissing. But even that we have to watch! So really we probably shouldnt even touch! lolGlorianna said:
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YoursTruely45 said:We have set alot because beings that we know we are getting married its really hard! We dont allow ourselves to be alone in any place that has a door. Funny as it sounds it really takes the temptation level down! We really go no furthur with kissing. But even that we have to watch! So really we probably shouldnt even touch! lol
I completely understand the temptation of rooms with doors because you can do whatever you want behind closed doors and nobody ever has to know about it.
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~Lady Trekki~
Waiting On God...And Putting My Trust In Him!
Congratulations on your engagement Jenn.YoursTruely45 said:We have set alot because beings that we know we are getting married its really hard! We dont allow ourselves to be alone in any place that has a door. Funny as it sounds it really takes the temptation level down! We really go no furthur with kissing. But even that we have to watch! So really we probably shouldnt even touch! lol
I'm sure you are tempted all the time. Just keep in mind that this is one gift that you can give him that is once in a life-time...and it's going to be sooo worth it on your wedding night!
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