Perfect Lunacy

[broken mach1ne]

"hey God, there's nothing left for me to hide
i lost my ignorance, security and pride
i'm all alone in a world you must despise
hey God, i believed your promises, your promises and lies"

"i used to be so big and strong
i used to know my right from wrong
i used to never be afraid
i used to be somebody
i used to have something inside
now just this hole that's open wide
i used to want it all
i used to be somebody

i'll cross my heart i'll hope to die
but the needle's already in my eye
and all the world's weight is on my back
and i don't even know why
what i used to think was me is just a fading memory
i looked him right in the eye and said "goodbye"

i was up above it
i was up above it
now i'm down in it (now i'm down in it)
i was up above it
i was up above it
now i'm down in it"

"gave up trying to figure it out my head got lost along the way
worn out from giving it up my soul i p***** it all away
still stings these shattered nerves
pigs we get what pigs deserve
i'm going all the way down i'm leaving today

still feel it all slipping away but it doesn't matter anymore
everybody's still chipping away but it doesn't matter anymore
look through these blackened eyes
you'll see ten thousand lies
my lips may promise but my heart is a harlot

i know it's all getting away it comes to me as no surprise
i know what's coming to me is never going to arrive
fresh blood through tired skin
new sweat to drown me in
dress up this rotten carcass just to make it look alive"

"i'm gonna smash myself to pieces
i'm gonna f*** myself up
i'm sifting through the ashes
oh, what i have become
i threw it all away
now i'm nothing
i let you slip away
now i'm nothing
all that i can do
is break myself two
i f**** it all away
now i'm nothing
wave, wave, wave
wave goodbye
wave, wave, wave
wave goodbye"

 

[Auntie]

Originally posted by coastie
Hatred, fear, and weakness are all tools the Satan uses to control.

They will not keep you alive, they will result in spiritual death which is much worse than anything else anyone can imagine.

Coastie, this is so true. Hatred and fear are tools that Satan uses to put people in bondage. It is a terrible thing to be in bondage to Satan, only Jesus can set us free from that. Hatred and fear will ultimately destroy a person.

 

[broken mach1ne]

Originally posted by Auntie
Hatred and fear will ultimately destroy a person.

Fear the lord.

 

[GodOwnsMe]

I was often wondering about that one....


Perfect Love casts out all fear. Now this one scripture I sort the Lord on and I wanted an answer. How was I to attain to reach out for this perfect love that would cast out every fear, doubt, anixety, worry, stress, problem and every little bit of unbelieving piece in me.
Well God sent Kenneth Copeland to the rescue to just put alittle something together. In one of his news letters he spoke about how God is love. So if God is Love how about exchanging God for Love in this scripture

Perfect Love casts out all fear. I replaced Perfect Love to Perfect God now that seem easier all the how was I ever going to do this. To God has all ready done it for me.

Perfect God casts out all fear. So all I needed to know now out of God's word was just how perfect God is. The more I find out about God's perfect nature and who he is. How wonderful and trust worthy he is. He through his word casts out all my fear.

http://www.christianforums.com/threads/24707.html

anyway I am SO FREAKING GLAD YOU'RE BACK *HUGS*

I'm 'always' praying..
love ya ...... GOD LOVES YOU !!!

 

[GodOwnsMe]

http://inspirations.crossdaily.com/secretmessage/

http://cards.crossdaily.com/createcard.php3?ImgID=26&TID=

 

[GodOwnsMe]

awww hey I've been feeling kinda mad today aswell but God doesn't care about that. He has no limits and he will keep you from being destroyed. You're his child and he is with you right now.. he loves you right now
and will wipe away all your fear and tears and hatred. If you can try to trust in HIM. Keep it going and rock this life's .. with him !
Father please let brokenmach1ne find love, rest and peace in you and do the very best thing for him right now. In Jesus name. Amen

 

[broken mach1ne]

Chemistry - 40% - F
English - 38% - F

Believe it or not, I'm suicidal over grades! I have a big test on Thursday morning in Chemistry and I know I'm going to fail! I hate my life!

 

[GodOwnsMe]

Father in Heaven, please help broken mach1ne with his test and let him totally know and feel that however he fails you will always love him and that is never going to mess up your perfect plan for him. In Jesus name. Amen
*MAJOR HUGS* never give it up brother God Bless YOU
anyway if you feel like chatting anytime just don't wanna annoy you or anything

 

[Sharky]

Originally posted by broken mach1ne
Chemistry - 40% - F
English - 38% - F

Believe it or not, I'm suicidal over grades! I have a big test on Thursday morning in Chemistry and I know I'm going to fail! I hate my life!

Why? Doesn't that mean God has a better gift for you than silly grades? You've got more potential than silly marks on a peice of paper. Just look for what you're good at. I was pretty much like you. I used to go nuts over grades but eventually i discovered that i've got more talent than the school can provide for me and it's the same for you. Give it a try dude, you can even get into great schools without needing good grades. School doesn't measure out your entire life. What are your talents?

 

[wblastyn]

Fear the lord.

This means you should respect God, not cower in fear if you see Him, although who wouldn't be afraid if an all-powerful being came into your presence, Mary was afraid of the angel remember.

 

[GodOwnsMe]

hey hope you're doing better how was the test ?
Love ya bro God Bless You

 

[coastie]

Grades were always a cause of stress for myself. When they got bad, they would get worse because I would get caught up in a cycle of depression since I was such a perfectionist.

When you learn to deal effectively with your stress is when you will learn to stop the cycle and really work toward achieving realistic goals for yourself.

The way to deal with your stress is to rely on God. Remeber that trusting in God is a major factor in your salvation. There is no problem too big or too small for Him.

 

[GodOwnsMe]

Yeah exactly.. I have this problem with stress too.. not with grades but
the only thing that has really been working for me is trustung in God and 'throwing it all at him'

 

[GodOwnsMe]

please don't ever give it up *hugs*
father please get brokenmach1ne out there and help him trust in you.
Please totally show him your love and give him peace. In Jesus' name. Amen

 

[lookinguptoo]

Broken Machine, I came to this forum wanting to ask a question myself about parenting, but when I saw your post, it really touched my heart and I wanted to write.  Broken Machine, I think I can understand a little of where you are coming from, and I think the struggles you have are far more than just grades.  I don't know what is going on in your life, but I imagine it is quite hard.  What I wish to say to you though is never give up because as miserable as life may seem today, if we hold on to Christ, the "sunny summer time" in life will come.  In some ways I had a good childhood compared to others but on the other hand I also had a harsh one to the point that I went to bed every night praying that God would take my life.  God did not take my life though because He had a purpose for me, just as He has a purpose for you.   I was betrayed by my best friend and felt totally unloved by my parents and I let a grudge come into my heart that really stunted my growth.  It effected me only and no one else.  I even stopped going to church for awhile, but one day I realized spiritually I was destroying myself and keeping myself back.  So I began going to church again and really seeking God in the Bible.  Then, I forgave everyone that hurt me.  The result was my parents and I now have a great relationship (we don't see eye to eye on everything, but we do have a really good relationship), but more than that I grew so much and life became an exciting adventure for me.  It was a gradual process but I went from praying every night to die to going to bed excited every night as to what the next day would bring and a huge mission field opened up.  This was my "summertime in life".  Then years passed and another winter came.  This time, I was still in church and reading the Bible but now I was an adult, married and with a child.  In this time, I took some of my husbands family members in my home and I was robbed, almost raped, verbally assaulted daily, had my name destroyed in the community all based on lies, had my son's life threatened, and lost my baby due to all the stress, and I almost fell apart.  Life can be tough even for Christians, but God held me together even when I felt myself sinking.  The things that God used to hold me together were people that listened to me, prayers, and of course His Word.  Therefore, I recommend the same for you. 1) Continue talking and getting whatever is in your heart out.  It is good.  Never hold it in.  2)  Continue praying and remind God that He says when we are weak and heavy laden He will give us rest.  Ask Him for that rest and to carry your burdens and tell Him your problems.  He will listen.  3)  Identify your problems and seek the scriptures regarding them.  For example, if it is with a person.  Then seek scriptures in how God would have you deal with that person.  If it is self hatred, read about God's love and plan for you.  Broken Machine, people are concerned about you otherwise they would not respond to your post so please do not give up, but seek God with all your heart, mind and soul and He will not disappoint you. 

 

[wblastyn]

Broken Machine, I came to this forum wanting to ask a question myself about parenting, but when I saw your post, it really touched my heart and I wanted to write. Broken Machine, I think I can understand a little of where you are coming from, and I think the struggles you have are far more than just grades. I don't know what is going on in your life, but I imagine it is quite hard. What I wish to say to you though is never give up because as miserable as life may seem today, if we hold on to Christ, the "sunny summer time" in life will come. In some ways I had a good childhood compared to others but on the other hand I also had a harsh one to the point that I went to bed every night praying that God would take my life. God did not take my life though because He had a purpose for me, just as He has a purpose for you. I was betrayed by my best friend and felt totally unloved by my parents and I let a grudge come into my heart that really stunted my growth. It effected me only and no one else. I even stopped going to church for awhile, but one day I realized spiritually I was destroying myself and keeping myself back. So I began going to church again and really seeking God in the Bible. Then, I forgave everyone that hurt me. The result was my parents and I now have a great relationship (we don't see eye to eye on everything, but we do have a really good relationship), but more than that I grew so much and life became an exciting adventure for me. It was a gradual process but I went from praying every night to die to going to bed excited every night as to what the next day would bring and a huge mission field opened up. This was my "summertime in life". Then years passed and another winter came. This time, I was still in church and reading the Bible but now I was an adult, married and with a child. In this time, I took some of my husbands family members in my home and I was robbed, almost raped, verbally assaulted daily, had my name destroyed in the community all based on lies, had my son's life threatened, and lost my baby due to all the stress, and I almost fell apart. Life can be tough even for Christians, but God held me together even when I felt myself sinking. The things that God used to hold me together were people that listened to me, prayers, and of course His Word. Therefore, I recommend the same for you. 1) Continue talking and getting whatever is in your heart out. It is good. Never hold it in. 2) Continue praying and remind God that He says when we are weak and heavy laden He will give us rest. Ask Him for that rest and to carry your burdens and tell Him your problems. He will listen. 3) Identify your problems and seek the scriptures regarding them. For example, if it is with a person. Then seek scriptures in how God would have you deal with that person. If it is self hatred, read about God's love and plan for you. Broken Machine, people are concerned about you otherwise they would not respond to your post so please do not give up, but seek God with all your heart, mind and soul and He will not disappoint you.

Thanks for posting that, lookinguptoo

 

[broken mach1ne]

he couldn't believe how easy it was
he put the gun into his face
bang!
(so much blood for such a tiny little hole)
a lifetime of f***ing things up fixed
in one determined flash

everything's blue
everything's blue in this world
the deepest shade of mushroom blue
all fuzzy
spilling out of my head

 

[KeepTheFaith15]

you know what im sorry but i think thats really really sad to kill yourself over grades expessially considering people have way bigger issues then that! what about poverty bro, people starving no food no cloths no family friends or a home. but your wondering about your grades. god doesnt look at your grades. as long as you give life your best and live for god youll get great rewards in heaven! god bless

 

[GodOwnsMe]

wow you can sowhat never imagine how FREAKING GLAD I AM TO SEE YOU...
I could CRY !!!!!!!!! Praise God.. wow
*biggest hug ever* I love you
you rock
wow

 

[GodOwnsMe]

awwwwwww seriously with God your life isn't blue. Because you are carried thru the hard times and they'll be over.
Please please don't kill yourself I'm like thinking about you all the time...

There is hope for you, there is peace for you, there is joy for you, and there is love for you !!!!! Please try to trust ..

Hey God please help brokenmach1ne trust in you and be his uplift.
Please show him how much hope and what kind of awesome plan you have for him and give him a
huge love and desire for You that he wants to live this life for you as your child.
Please show him how to go on and give him all he really needs right now. Please help him trust in your power and love thank you so much. In Jesus' name.

please go on I'm there and God is
LOVE YA
Karen

anyway KeepTheFaith15 I love your avatar it was coming to my head so often... didn't know who this was from though