Pastor Wives.....

[Tbear516]

My wonderful hubby has been called into pastoral ministry and I am soo thrilled for him! But then I realize I'm called too to be his support in this and his co-laborer. I am honestly afraid of this role and responsibility. I don't feel I'm good enough to fullfill the role to the best possible degree. I love God, people and my hubby, but I don't know how to feel about this. I want so much to support my husband and to love the people we encounter and share all that I have with them but what if it's not enough? How did you feel when your husband was called into ministry? If you felt like me have you gotten peace about being insufficent? I would love to hear how God worked in your life espically in this special area. God bless you and I pray you're daily fellowshiping with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!

 

[Ms.Garnet]

Welcome Tbear! So glad you joined us!!! No one was dumber or greener than I when I married my husband. He was already called to be a minister , licensed & ready to graduate Bible college when I came along. He never did ask me to marry him - instead he kept asking me if I thought I could be a preachers wife !!!! I finally took that as an invitation to marriage!!! What I really felt was that I loved him & God would help me be what I needed to be in that marriage if I yielded to God and sought His help. I learned by trial & error ----a lot of errors--but I learned & God helped me for these many years. My biggest advice is to guard your mouth and be careful who you choose for friends --by guarding your mouth I mean be very careful what you say & who you say it to - even preachers wives are not always the best person to confide in! My best friend for the past 12 years has been a younger preacher's wife whom I can tell the worst to & share the best. She is my sounding board & I am hers. Serve where you feel led to serve in the church -what makes you happy in your walk with the Lord . Be your husband's biggest fan/in public anyway!!!!!!!! There will be times ( as in any marriage) that you may not feel like being so nice -but just be sure to keep it private -I am not saying put on lying airs for a public appearance, but it doesn't take much to get a "bon fire" rumor going.
You will be a fine minister's wife if you try to stay close to the Lord - seek His direction-serve Him where you feel joy and fulfillment & closeness to Him/the Lord. Bless you in your new adventure! Ms. Garnet

 

[walkingbyfaith]

Hi there!
God bless you for your heart to serve Him. Being a PW is a calling of its own,for sure...it takes a special woman to not only be there for the flock, but the man leading it! One thing I've had to learn very quickly is the part about keeping my lips tight! Unfortunatly, we are held to a much higher standard than others in the church, and judged a lot. I hate that part, but it has helped me grow in Him also...He keeps taking me to the book of James to grow me up in that. I'm the kind of person who will just say whatever I'm thinking, and wear my emotions on my sleeve. I have had to pray and pray and work hard at having self-control. But we have found out the hard way that our personal issues being made public, or thoughtless comments to the wrong people can destroy the work we put into helping someone in a minute. Also, as a Christian period, but so much more as helpmeet to a man who pastors a flock 24/7 (we run a transitional recovery house for drug addicts, and it literally IS 24/7), I have to daily die to myself to make sure I am there for him, to relieve as much stress as possible, and be in his corner always. I am grateful for the challenges of the calling, because as I said, it does truly make you grow as a Christian FAST. Anyway, blessings to you and yours!

 

[Heart4Him]

Hi there! I'm so glad you posted here! You are definitely not alone in feeling this way. I think one of the things I've learned after just 3 years of being a pastor's wife (we've been married for 11 years), my husband got called to preach about 5 years ago...is that there is no "standard" pastor's wife.
The best thing I can say is to be YOU. Try to serve where you feel comfortable and where God wants you. Don't feel as if you have to fit into this "mold" of what a pastor's wife is supposed to be. For the past 3 years my main ministries have been supporting my husband and encouraging him as much as possible, being the best Mom I can be to our two young children, and doing some "phone ministry" with some of the young single or married mothers.
As long as you keep the Lord in the center of your life and rely on him for everything, He will give you everything you need to minister with your husband!
God Bless You!!

 

[Sophia7]

My wonderful hubby has been called into pastoral ministry and I am soo thrilled for him! But then I realize I'm called too to be his support in this and his co-laborer. I am honestly afraid of this role and responsibility. I don't feel I'm good enough to fullfill the role to the best possible degree. I love God, people and my hubby, but I don't know how to feel about this. I want so much to support my husband and to love the people we encounter and share all that I have with them but what if it's not enough? How did you feel when your husband was called into ministry? If you felt like me have you gotten peace about being insufficent? I would love to hear how God worked in your life espically in this special area. God bless you and I pray you're daily fellowshiping with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!

My husband was planning to be a pastor when I met him, so I knew from the beginning that if I married him, I would be a pastor's wife. Whatever the situation, though, if God is calling your husband to the ministry, He will also give you the strength that you need for your role. Just keep trusting Him and being willing to follow wherever He leads.

 

[Sophia7]

Welcome Tbear! So glad you joined us!!! No one was dumber or greener than I when I married my husband. He was already called to be a minister , licensed & ready to graduate Bible college when I came along. He never did ask me to marry him - instead he kept asking me if I thought I could be a preachers wife !!!! I finally took that as an invitation to marriage!!! What I really felt was that I loved him & God would help me be what I needed to be in that marriage if I yielded to God and sought His help. I learned by trial & error ----a lot of errors--but I learned & God helped me for these many years. My biggest advice is to guard your mouth and be careful who you choose for friends --by guarding your mouth I mean be very careful what you say & who you say it to - even preachers wives are not always the best person to confide in! My best friend for the past 12 years has been a younger preacher's wife whom I can tell the worst to & share the best. She is my sounding board & I am hers. Serve where you feel led to serve in the church -what makes you happy in your walk with the Lord . Be your husband's biggest fan/in public anyway!!!!!!!! There will be times ( as in any marriage) that you may not feel like being so nice -but just be sure to keep it private -I am not saying put on lying airs for a public appearance, but it doesn't take much to get a "bon fire" rumor going.
You will be a fine minister's wife if you try to stay close to the Lord - seek His direction-serve Him where you feel joy and fulfillment & closeness to Him/the Lord. Bless you in your new adventure! Ms. Garnet

I totally agree. I have learned, also, how important it is to guard my tongue. There are so many things that I have to keep confidential, and even those things that are not confidential can easily become subjects of gossip. This has been an obstacle to making close friends, but I guess that's just something that we have to deal with.

 

[walkingbyfaith]

Hi Again, Ladies!
Hope you all are well, and that your ministries are prospering and reaching many lives. Just wanted to check in, left a post in the new member section explaining that my father is dying so I will not be around a whole lot in the near future, but I will be praying continously for all of you, and will be back in the swing of things as soon as I can. God's love and blessings to all!

 

[Heart4Him]

Hi Again, Ladies!
Hope you all are well, and that your ministries are prospering and reaching many lives. Just wanted to check in, left a post in the new member section explaining that my father is dying so I will not be around a whole lot in the near future, but I will be praying continously for all of you, and will be back in the swing of things as soon as I can. God's love and blessings to all!

God Bless you, walkingbyfaith! I am very sorry to hear about your father...praying for you and for him.

 

[Ms.Garnet]

Hi Walkingbyfaith - I too am so sorry to hear about your father. My prayers are with you & your family. May God's grace & loving comfort undergird you all through this time. Come back to us when you feel up to it . We will miss you, but we will not forget you & your family. Ms. Garnet

 

[erin74]

My wonderful hubby has been called into pastoral ministry and I am soo thrilled for him! But then I realize I'm called too to be his support in this and his co-laborer. I am honestly afraid of this role and responsibility. I don't feel I'm good enough to fullfill the role to the best possible degree. I love God, people and my hubby, but I don't know how to feel about this. I want so much to support my husband and to love the people we encounter and share all that I have with them but what if it's not enough? How did you feel when your husband was called into ministry? If you felt like me have you gotten peace about being insufficent? I would love to hear how God worked in your life espically in this special area. God bless you and I pray you're daily fellowshiping with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!

I think that a pastors wife's biggest role is to be the wife of the pastor. That is your primary ministry, and the one that requires the most energy.

Everything else is optional.

There is no role other than what you choose to be involved in. That will be different for everyone. It is difficult sometimes for the women of the church to realise that you are not necessarily going to fit the image they have in their head. But ultimately if you are trying to fit someone elses idea of what you should be doing you're bound to fail, either them or yourself or both.

The thing that I have found helpful is to not get overly committed in the first year, but spend some time observing, getting to know people, etc. It is much easier to know what you really want to be involved in, and what would be most useful if you have taken some time to get the feel of things.

Also - if your dh is going to bible college, invest in relationships with other student's wives. They have been the most valuable relationships for me in ministry. They are the people I speak to when I am struggling, and rejoice with when things go well.

Most of all protect your relationship with God and protect your relationship with your husband, and children if you have kids. People can be very demanding, and you can easily lose sight of these most important things if you don't protect yourself. They are also the things you can be tempted to be complacent about, and that is when you are most vulnerable.

I hope this helps...

 

[QuiltAngel]

Be yourself and be a support for your husband.

Choose the things you wish to participate in.

There is not set role for a Pastor's wife other than that you are his wife. Read and study the Bible and prayer is probably the most important.

 

[walkingbyfaith]

Hi Ladies, I'm back. Thank you all so much for your prayers for my dad. He has been diagnosed with lymphoma, which actually has a 70-80% cure rate, so I am staying hopeful and prayerful. It is God, not the doctors, who writes the ending to our stories. And He is good, all the time. I trust Him. I hope all is well with all of you...((hugs)) to everyone.

 

[Heart4Him]

Hi Ladies, I'm back. Thank you all so much for your prayers for my dad. He has been diagnosed with lymphoma, which actually has a 70-80% cure rate, so I am staying hopeful and prayerful. It is God, not the doctors, who writes the ending to our stories. And He is good, all the time. I trust Him. I hope all is well with all of you...((hugs)) to everyone.

So glad you're back! I'm glad to hear you sounding so optimistic about your Dad, and you both will be in my prayers! God bless you!

 

[Valentine]

Hi Ladies, I'm back. Thank you all so much for your prayers for my dad. He has been diagnosed with lymphoma, which actually has a 70-80% cure rate, so I am staying hopeful and prayerful. It is God, not the doctors, who writes the ending to our stories. And He is good, all the time. I trust Him. I hope all is well with all of you...((hugs)) to everyone.

Praying for your dad and family. Blessings to you.

 

[walkingbyfaith]

Thank you Heart4Him and Valentine. God is so good. How is everyone here? I would love to hear how your ministries are going, and what wonderful things God is doing in your lives. Right now, we are fighting to save the building we do our ministry out of, which is in danger of being sold. The truth is, God's work will continue regardless, we just wouldn't be able to house people anymore. We just continue to do what we believe is His will for each day, and look forward to whatever season He is leading us and this place to. So, what's going on with all of you?? Blessings and love to all.

 

[Heart4Him]

Thank you Heart4Him and Valentine. God is so good. How is everyone here? I would love to hear how your ministries are going, and what wonderful things God is doing in your lives. Right now, we are fighting to save the building we do our ministry out of, which is in danger of being sold. The truth is, God's work will continue regardless, we just wouldn't be able to house people anymore. We just continue to do what we believe is His will for each day, and look forward to whatever season He is leading us and this place to. So, what's going on with all of you?? Blessings and love to all.

I'll be praying for your ministry situation! Right now our church is doing well, but it kind of seems like we're in a sort of crossroad I guess. It has grown a lot in the past three years since my husband has been pastoring and there have been many small changes for the better. There is a very small portion of folks that I think are afraid to see the church changing so much and growing so big and that has been some tough opposition. I believe God is going to continue to do great things to further His kingdom and in our ministry here, though!

 

[walkingbyfaith]

((hugs)) Heart 4 Him....we will be praying for you as well. There's always some opposition when you're doing God's work, isn't there? I like to think that satan kicks up dust the hardest right before a blessing is about to come through; helps me stay positive. Blessings to you and yours

 

[shanester]

I am a husband of a woman who is a pastor's wife. I want to encourage you women that your ministry is just as important as anything your husband does. He is only as strong as you are.

Pray for him. Encourage him with the Word. Be there for him. Ministry is tough, that is why it is called ministry! Yes, he might be in the spotlight, but many rewards are waiting for you as you intercede hourly for your hubby.

 

[Sophia7]

I am a husband of a woman who is a pastor's wife. I want to encourage you women that your ministry is just as important as anything your husband does. He is only as strong as you are.

Pray for him. Encourage him with the Word. Be there for him. Ministry is tough, that is why it is called ministry! Yes, he might be in the spotlight, but many rewards are waiting for you as you intercede hourly for your hubby.




Be my friend at www.DittyTalk.com - The Christian MySpace Alternatve

Thank you for your encouragement!

 

[csslaw02]

Hi,
I am in a similar boat with you. My hubby was called into the ministry before we met. He told me that he wanted to plant a church. I felt ready to support him all the way. When the time came, I was worried, afraid, and scared. I grew up in church but never knew the exact role the wife played. All I knew was she attended everything he did.

After alot of prayer, I became less scared and more anxious to support my husband. I now want to be more involved in the happenings of the ministry.

My advice for you is to pray. God will lead you in the right direction. Everything will work out. Email me if you like.