Parents Problem

[die2live]

What do you do when you are absolutley sure about something, but your parents are dead-set against it? I feel very strongly that God is calling me to do something, but my parents, who I have looked up to and whose spiritual advice I have often times relied on, are completly opposed to it.
So I'm confused.

 

[greeneyedme]

yes, it completely depends on what you believe God wants you to do.

 

[Lisa0315]

I agree with Blue Impulse. It depends on what your "calling" is. If it is a calling to a ministry, then, it is between you and God.

Best advice I can give you without any more information is to pray with your parents and all of you agree that you will do the will of God.

Feel free to PM me if you would like to talk privately about what is going on. I am a Mom of a 15 and 18 year old. I may be able to give you some insight as to why your parents are opposed.

Lisa

 

[die2live]

It has to do with my calling to ministry. For almost two years now, I have felt called to be a missionary. My parents were fine with it, or at least pretended to be, until I decided not to go to college. My decision further aggravated them when I told them I would not be joining any big organizations like New Tribes or Global Frontiers, but would instead be joining a ministry that is just starting. I don't think they see it as an "organization". They see it more as a random missionary reaching a random village in India. All of my information comes from just that one missionary. I don't think they like having their information that restricted.

 

[die2live]

I don't know. I do know that I didn't seek this out. I was fine joining a bigger one. At first I didn't even know that an opportunity like this existed.
The missionary contacted me. He asked me if I wanted to join. He knows how young I am, how I have not gone to college, how inexperienced I am with missions. But he recognizes God's call in spite of that.
He has advised me to wait a year or two before joining. He realizes how important it is to have my parents' support.
I don't know for sure why God has called me to this. But I do feel strongly that it is where he is calling me.

 

[Lisa0315]

It has to do with my calling to ministry. For almost two years now, I have felt called to be a missionary. My parents were fine with it, or at least pretended to be, until I decided not to go to college. My decision further aggravated them when I told them I would not be joining any big organizations like New Tribes or Global Frontiers, but would instead be joining a ministry that is just starting. I don't think they see it as an "organization". They see it more as a random missionary reaching a random village in India. All of my information comes from just that one missionary. I don't think they like having their information that restricted.

I suggest a compromise. You should go to college, majoring in a useful skill such as medicine, teaching, or languages. Then, through your college or your church, use your summers to go on mission trips with a well organized and well reputed mission organization. I do not blame your parents a bit for being upset with this idea. It is one thing to be called to the mission field, but this cannot be the will of God for you if it requires disobedience to your parents in order to do it. God does not say one thing and then ask you to do another.

 

[BBgrey]

Compromise is not a good idea if you are sure of what God wants you to do. Obviously it is right to consider your parents concern and disapproval if they have given wise advice in the past, but if you have thoughtfully and prayerfully considered their opinion, and you still are sure that God is calling you to work with this specific missionary, then you should do it.

It is right to pray with and for your parents. Also, it is important for you to show them your utmost respect in all of this. If they think this decision comes simply from your desire to show that you are independent now, they will have no reason to think they should support you in it. When the subject comes up, calmly and clearly tell your parents that the reason you are doing this is because God has called you to it. And give them no reason to doubt your wisdom and discernment in every other area of your life.

If you have two years before you leave, that will be plenty of time for God to show his will to your parents. You don't need to make them believe that God has called you. God will do it in his time. Trust him to do that.

BBgrey

 

[bliz]

How has God called you to do this particular missionary work?

How did you connect with this missionary in the first place?

What are you going to be doing, seeing as you have no training?

 

[die2live]

I plan on taking one or two college courses before going as well as a class on missions. But I have no intention of going to college for a degree. I know that is not what I'm supposed to do. If it turns out that this missionary organization is not where God is calling me, then I will join an organization that offers a two year training program, such as New Tribes or Global Frontiers. But full-time college is no longer an option that I'm considering.
As far as what I'm actually going to be doing, I will be working in a nutrition center. Probably caring or looking after children until I get further training.

 

[bliz]

I plan on taking one or two college courses before going as well as a class on missions. But I have no intention of going to college for a degree. I know that is not what I'm supposed to do. If it turns out that this missionary organization is not where God is calling me, then I will join an organization that offers a two year training program, such as New Tribes or Global Frontiers. But full-time college is no longer an option that I'm considering.
As far as what I'm actually going to be doing, I will be working in a nutrition center. Probably caring or looking after children until I get further training.

I noticed that you did not answer the most crucial question - how has God called you to this particular mission? This really is the most important question, and any mission agency is going to ask you that question over and over again.

Check with mission agencies, including the "non-traditional" ones and find out if they can really use you with a few courses under your belt. Unskilled labor they can get in any country they go to - why should a mission pay to send unskilled labor over to another country? Maybe they do and I am misinformed.

On one hand you talk about God's leading and call, but on the other hand you talk about what you have decided and what you have no intention to do. These two concepts are in conflict. Are you following God's lead, or your own intentions?

This has nothing to do with "what you're supposed to do" or what your parents want you to do but with what God wants you to do. How has God called you?

 

[ALABALE]

I suggest a compromise. You should go to college, majoring in a useful skill such as medicine, teaching, or languages. Then, through your college or your church, use your summers to go on mission trips with a well organized and well reputed mission organization. I do not blame your parents a bit for being upset with this idea. It is one thing to be called to the mission field, but this cannot be the will of God for you if it requires disobedience to your parents in order to do it. God does not say one thing and then ask you to do another.

Great suggestion! And I agree - I don't blame your parents for being very cautious.

Be obedient to your Parents and God will honor that. If it is truly His will, He will put peace in your parents' heart.

 

[die2live]

How has God called me? Good question.
Well, not in the form of a burning bush or anything so mercifully obvious. Ih he had, my parents would not have such a problem with it. But this calling has come more subtly and personally. While I wouldn't say that I just "feel" that this is the right thing to do, a lot of it has to do with the little voice in my head that has been guiding me during my entire Christian walk.
But, like I said, that is not the only thing leading me to believe that this is where I'm called. I've seen God's provision in working out this opportunity. I see it as a fulfillment of everything I believe missions (and not just foreign missions) is supposed to be (giving up everything you have and devoting your life to expanding God's Kingdom). I do not see that in most of the "big" missions organizations. In a way, I fell most called to this because I see this as the organization that is most following the way missions was supposed to be.

 

[VVV]

What do you do when you are absolutley sure about something, but your parents are dead-set against it? I feel very strongly that God is calling me to do something, but my parents, who I have looked up to and whose spiritual advice I have often times relied on, are completly opposed to it.
So I'm confused.

Discuss it in detail with parents and if no go then accept it as Gods will. If you are ready to move out, then go for it as 'you will.'

Good luck,




V (Male)

A Christian-Buddhist practitioner living a life of Voluntary Simplicity and grateful recovering Debtor, Drug and Substance Abuser, Compulsive Overeater, Clutterer, Rageaholic, Speculative Gambler, Compulsive Spender, Sex and Sensation Addict.

 

[jluvjesus4ever]

hey die2live, i have gone through the same thing. i feel called to Mozambique, Africa and my mother is deadset against it cause she doesn't believe the confirmation and visions i have had about it. I haven't talked about it for a while and last night i was telling someone about it and how i need more confirmation (as if i didn't have enough) and this morning i turned on the tv and the christian station was talking about mozambique africa and the exact calling i feel i have on my life. don't give up. if you know that you know that you know, hold fast to that. in the mean time while God is working out the details, pray, study to show yourself approved of God, live life as the way Christ wants you to and if you are a minor honor your father and mother. No matter what. Don't worry God will work it out in His timing! His timing is perfect. my timing's not here yet. God has revealed to me that i have something else in line before i go for preparation for it. it's fulltime ministry as a campus missionary under the campus pastor. also he wants me to go to school. pray a lot through your time of prep. God's got you covered. He will provide in every area if it's his will

 

[bliz]

How has God called me? Good question.
Well, not in the form of a burning bush or anything so mercifully obvious. Ih he had, my parents would not have such a problem with it. But this calling has come more subtly and personally. While I wouldn't say that I just "feel" that this is the right thing to do, a lot of it has to do with the little voice in my head that has been guiding me during my entire Christian walk.
But, like I said, that is not the only thing leading me to believe that this is where I'm called. I've seen God's provision in working out this opportunity. I see it as a fulfillment of everything I believe missions (and not just foreign missions) is supposed to be (giving up everything you have and devoting your life to expanding God's Kingdom). I do not see that in most of the "big" missions organizations. In a way, I fell most called to this because I see this as the organization that is most following the way missions was supposed to be.

I am not saying that you haven't been called. But I find your discussion of how you have been called to be lacking and it makes me wonder.

Phrases like "I've seen God's provision in working out this opportunity" are Christian buzz words in and of themselves and say nothing. How has God provided? If He has, there is a story. The "little voice" in your head could be wishful thinking or acting out your romantic vision of things. Not for one second am I saying that God does not speak to His people, but a whole lot of people confuse what is in their head with the voice of God.

I used to recruit sdtudents for a Christian college. Often when I would call students would say "God has called me to another college." I always said the same thing: "That's wonderful! And how has He called you?" Most of the time I would get Christian gobbeldygook:"Well, ya know, He jujst sorta led me." "He's given me an inner peace about this." "I just felt the leading of His hand." They were parroting back buzz words they had learned. When someone had been led, they had a story, sometimes some pretty interesting, even bizarre stories, but they could tell me exactly what had happened in their lives to get them to that position. Sadly I think we have taught Christians to spiritulize decisions that are mearly their own decisions.

How well have you researched mission organizations? There is a huge variety of them, of all different sizes and focuses. Is your slamming of "big" missions based upon what you have learned through your own research and study or what this guy from this fledging mission has told you?

And if indeed God is calling you to this mission, is He calling you to go now?

I don't know what God is calling you to do. I'm asking you hard questions becasue you need to be able to answer them, for yourself, for your parents, for this mission organization and for anyone you are going to seek support from. I'm not talking about learning the right things to say.

Have you read some biographies of missionaries? I think you may find them very interesting and helpful reading.

 

[visionary]

God has inspired you to do good work in His name. God has also given your parents wisdom which they are sharing with you. While the two seem in conflict, they are not. One is the desire in your heart that you need, the other is common sense approach to accomplishing it.

 

[~Nikki~]

It's great that you want to get into this kind of work, but I would say that you should listen to your parents and honour their wishes. Let me explain...

If God has called you to ministry, the opportunity will still be there in a year or two, and your parents by then will be able to see that it's not just a whim, but something you're definitely called to and in a year or two the likelihood is that you get to go and you'll have their blessing on it.

The elders of my last church used to give this advice to anyone from age 18-21 who wanted to be a missionary...
"Give it a few years. Go out, get your qualifications, get a job, advance in your job, and then come back to us in five years time. If the call is from God, you'll be even keener to do this, and we will support you in every way possible."

The people I've known who took that advice...well, one family is now living and being missionaries in Mongolia.

The other guy wanted to go to China, but the elders of the church told him to wait a few years, go on short term mission trips, get a job etc. During those few years he met and married his wife who is Chinese and together (with their children) they have gone to China as missionaries. Good job he waited because God's now given him a partner to go into missions with...

Anyway, my point is that if the calling is from God it won't go away. And if you can honour your parents and tell them you'll stay for now, but will look at the whole thing again in a year or two, then it might be a good compromise all round. Your parents will be happy and you still get to be in ministry at some point in the near future.

Sometimes callings from God take a long time to materialise. I've felt a calling now for ten years but due to circumstances it was never possible. In the meantime I worked, got involved with my church, travelled to Australia and back a few times, met my husband and married him, and I still felt that calling and still do. Only now am I starting to be in the position where it might be fulfilled soon...and the things I've learnt along the way will defintely help in that...

God is good. Delight yourself in Him and He will give you the desires of your heart - Psalm 37 - (even if it takes a little longer than you first thought).

God bless...

 

[die2live]

Well, I will be waiting for a year, maybe two. The missionary that has invited me to work with him has advised that himself. But all these very valid points that have been brought up sound like something Jesus would respond with, whoever looks back is not worthy of me, or whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. I know that a lot of people will say that those are just idealistic Christian notions and that they really defy common sense and that God is not illogical like that.
But for real guys, it's in the Bible. This is what the men through him God changed the world did. And this is not about my personal goals to change the world. It's just what God says. I don't care what culture has watered down the beauty of the committment and risk of the Christian walk. When God's word changes, so will I. Until then . . .
By the way, there is more to my story than that. I could relate the whole thing, and I will eventually. I don't exactly have the time at the moment, but I'll do so sometime tomorrow night, or the next.

 

[mysparrow]

I agree with the previous post as well, and it speaks well of the missionary that suggested your waiting 2 years , use that time to go to college, and do summer missionary work with a bigger group, get some life experience under your belt, then during that time God will move in his timing so that either you will know for sure thats what he has called you to do in the other missionary group, and there will be confirmation wiht your parents , and a peace abotu it . God is not the author of confusion, and he will not tell you one thing if it contradicts his word or his character . Be honest with your parents without disrespecting them, and ask them to pray WITH you on this , confirmation will come either way , whether it is indeed Gods will, or not . I hope this has helped some , and everyone that has posted has had insight into it , so please take what has been posted into consideration .

 

[mysparrow]

I am not saying that you haven't been called. But I find your discussion of how you have been called to be lacking and it makes me wonder.

Phrases like "I've seen God's provision in working out this opportunity" are Christian buzz words in and of themselves and say nothing. How has God provided? If He has, there is a story. The "little voice" in your head could be wishful thinking or acting out your romantic vision of things. Not for one second am I saying that God does not speak to His people, but a whole lot of people confuse what is in their head with the voice of God.

I used to recruit sdtudents for a Christian college. Often when I would call students would say "God has called me to another college." I always said the same thing: "That's wonderful! And how has He called you?" Most of the time I would get Christian gobbeldygook:"Well, ya know, He jujst sorta led me." "He's given me an inner peace about this." "I just felt the leading of His hand." They were parroting back buzz words they had learned. When someone had been led, they had a story, sometimes some pretty interesting, even bizarre stories, but they could tell me exactly what had happened in their lives to get them to that position. Sadly I think we have taught Christians to spiritulize decisions that are mearly their own decisions.

How well have you researched mission organizations? There is a huge variety of them, of all different sizes and focuses. Is your slamming of "big" missions based upon what you have learned through your own research and study or what this guy from this fledging mission has told you?

And if indeed God is calling you to this mission, is He calling you to go now?

I don't know what God is calling you to do. I'm asking you hard questions becasue you need to be able to answer them, for yourself, for your parents, for this mission organization and for anyone you are going to seek support from. I'm not talking about learning the right things to say.

Have you read some biographies of missionaries? I think you may find them very interesting and helpful reading.

bliz you indeed show Gods gift of wisdom , your posts are a blessing .