Parents of Prodigals

[Joni Steele]

Back in August, my adult daughter and I had a heated verbal argument regarding politics. She has embraced liberalism and has turned away from Christ. She has also told me that I am not her Mother anymore and has asked me not to contact her. I pray continually that God will bring her to her senses and that she will return home to Jesus and to me. I invite other parents of prodigals to share their stories. I also need prayer and would like to pray for you and your children.

 

[Brightmoon]

your Daughter is feeling unheard and disrespected . You don’t have to agree with her . You do have to respect that she’s not you .

 

[Joni Steele]

your Daughter is feeling unheard and disrespected . You don’t have to agree with her . You do have to respect that she’s not you .

 

[Brightmoon]

I was the prodigal in my family . That’s usually why they cut ties

 

[Joni Steele]

That's a bit harsh! With all due respect you dont have all the information. I've apologized for what I said to her and suggested that in the future that we just agree to disagree. She would not accept my apology or any attempt to talk things through. It is concerning to me, as it should be to any parent, that she has turned from Christ and it's more important that she recommits to Him before she comes back to me.

 

[Brightmoon]

If you’ve apologized then give it time . If she feels the apology was meant she’ll come around.
Religion is also a personal choice , what about her choices don’t you like ? Or better question what upsets you about it ?

you mentioned liberalism . What upsets you about that ? I know that conservatives have been using it a buzzword for at least a decade to make people jump. But what exactly upsets you ?

 

[Joni Steele]

If you’ve apologized then give it time . If she feels the apology was meant she’ll come around.
Religion is also a personal choice , what about her choices don’t you like ? Or better question what upsets you about it ?

you mentioned liberalism . What upsets you about that ? I know that conservatives have been using it a buzzword for at least a decade to make people jump. But what exactly upsets you ?

 

[Joni Steele]

Are you a Christian? If you are then you would know what is wrong with the liberal narrative. You would also understand a Mothers need to see that her child is on the right road, which is to embrace the Christian faith and abandon the god of liberalism, which is a belief system that is not Godly.

 

[bèlla]

I think you're looking in the wrong place. This has nothing to do with liberalism. The seeds of discontent were already there. It's one thing to disagree and another to disown your parent and cut ties. That usually comes on the heels of unresolved issues ballooning over time and erupting.

I've raised a child. The parent/child dynamic differs with adults. You have to loosen the reins. The bible doesn't tell us to continue parenting adults. We're directed to train them as children. You lay the foundation. If you do it right you provide a solid base for them to rest on. They'll make mistakes. That's part of life.

Rebellion doesn't arrive out of nowhere. You're rejecting something. Your philosophy will inform her person. But it isn't a blueprint. She won't live according to your standards. Some children have more conditioning than others. My daughter had a lot. But she isn't a doppelganger. She has her own mind, interests, etc. and she's a believer. But she can't be Bella. That was the hardest lesson for her to learn. Nor does she have to be me. I want her to follow God's blueprint. Not mine. We work towards that together.

Choices have consequences. That isn't a lesson you can reinforce in adults if it wasn't developed in childhood. Cause and effect must be ingrained in formative years. You have to review her behavior and work backwards to find the root. This is probably the tipping point. Not the cause.

Dutiful children don't cut off their parents. Its against their nature. The denial of self is a hallmark of duty. Getting upset is understandable. But are you seeing her correctly? If you focus on love and healing you'll make inroads and be able to bridge the gap in time.

Sometimes parents have an idea of who they desire their child to be and it prevents them from recognizing who they've become. Liberalism couldn't bring her to the point of denying your parentage. That's serious. Don't give it power it doesn't possess. Love your daughter and pray for her and yourself. Ask the Lord to help you change and heal while you're seeking the same on her behalf.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[Joni Steele]

I think you're looking in the wrong place. This has nothing to do with liberalism. The seeds of discontent were already there. It's one thing to disagree and another to disown your parent and cut ties. That usually comes on the heels of unresolved issues ballooning over time and erupting.

I've raised a child. The parent/child dynamic differs with adults. You have to loosen the reins. The bible doesn't tell us to continue parenting adults. We're directed to train them as children. You lay the foundation. If you do it right you provide a solid base for them to rest on. They'll make mistakes. That's part of life.

Rebellion doesn't arrive out of nowhere. You're rejecting something. Your philosophy will inform her person. But it isn't a blueprint. She won't live according to your standards. Some children have more conditioning than others. My daughter had a lot. But she isn't a doppelganger. She has her own mind, interests, etc. and she's a believer. But she can't be Bella. That was the hardest lesson for her to learn. Nor does she have to be me. I want her to follow God's blueprint. Not mine. We work towards that together.

Choices have consequences. That isn't a lesson you can reinforce in adults if it wasn't developed in childhood. Cause and effect must be ingrained in formative years. You have to review her behavior and work backwards to find the root. This is probably the tipping point. Not the cause.

Dutiful children don't cut off their parents. Its against their nature. The denial of self is a hallmark of duty. Getting upset is understandable. But are you seeing her correctly? If you focus on love and healing you'll make inroads and be able to bridge the gap in time.

Sometimes parents have an idea of who they desire their child to be and it prevents them from recognizing who they've become. Liberalism couldn't bring her to the point of denying your parentage. That's serious. Don't give it power it doesn't possess. Love your daughter and pray for her and yourself. Ask the Lord to help you change and heal while you're seeking the same on her behalf.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[Joni Steele]

With all due respect, you make a lot of assumptions about both my daughter and myself based on limited information. Moreover, just because the Mother/ Daughter dynamic is one way for you doesnt mean it is that way for everyone. The time is short and Jesus is coming back soon.It doesnt matter the reason or circumstances. The bottom line is my daughter has rejected her faith. I'd rather offend her by pulling her hand away from an open flame than see her get burned. I love her.

 

[mama2one]

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[VMaeLove]

Hello. I am not a parent, but I am a daughter to one.
We stubborn ones often need time and space to accept our rebel desires are less important than our relationship with ma/pop.
But respect is still needed.
You were a kid once too? You may remember similar feeling..
We all can bite when poked.
Set the example by being first to drop the offence.. and pride.

If you raise her with love, She will return it

 

[Joni Steele]

Hello. I am not a parent, but I am a daughter to one.
We stubborn ones often need time and space to accept our rebel desires are less important than our relationship with ma/pop.
But respect is still needed.
You were a kid once too? You may remember similar feeling..
We all can bite when poked.
Set the example by being first to drop the offence.. and pride.

If you raise her with love, She will return it

TY. I created this thread for Parents of Prodigals to come together, share their stories and encourage and pray for each other. Would you like me to pray for you?

 

[Joyous Song]

That's a bit harsh! With all due respect you dont have all the information. I've apologized for what I said to her and suggested that in the future that we just agree to disagree. She would not accept my apology or any attempt to talk things through. It is concerning to me, as it should be to any parent, that she has turned from Christ and it's more important that she recommits to Him before she comes back to me.

We have a son who done the same. He a debtor and lost his faith when our church closed. He also decided he was gay. We tried for years to come back together but he only communicates with my sister-in-law. Still we send birthday cards and Christmas and Thanksgiving greeting not expecting anything back.

My husband also experienced this with an older brother. He got angry at their mother and left when their father cheated then divorced her for his girlfriend. Like you, he feared they would never get back together but after his mom died his brother did contact them and now we and his family get together all the time.

So time heals wounds but sadly you may have to give her space and time. But if you can leave a small door open, that would be great. Still the L-rd brought Ron back to my husbands family, even after that door had been shut for over thirty years.