parents..building God's temple or making it fall

[OnceDust]

Howdy,

I've seen most posts in this forum relate to young kids, but as a youth worker, I need some advice on how to respond to parents. One of the youth I've recently gotten to know, pastor's son, is into body building. He's very proud of himself and has every right to be for keeping himself heathy and taking care of Gods temple.

The interest didnt stop there. He observes other guys and how muscular they are. I think it it mostly due to noticing his body going through changes and seeing those changes in others too. However, his parents have become concerned that looking at "muscle guys" is a questionable activity and they may be concerned he's developing a same-sex attraction. I don't get this impression, but I'm not a parent either and they know him better than I do.

I also have worked with a number of youth his age and I know it's nothing unusual, whereas this is thier first teenager. Guys often show off, and I can't tell you how many youth group pictures I've seen in many churches of teens flexing at the beach or swim party. I'm not sure if I'm underreacting or the parents are overreacting. My thought is the latter because I'm a guy and I know I had an interest in staying fit growing up. I often compared myself to my peers, but it was certainly not "attraction".

I think what triggered the parents concern was that they boy was looking online even to correspond with people who had a similar interest as him. So, muscle pictures, online chats, and a bit of concern (a good thing), have caused these parents to think thier son needs counseling. I personally think they need to talk with him more about these changes so he's not so compelled to look online for an out, but I have no clue how to approach them if it's even my place. I do know he is discouraged from playing in team sports for what reason I'm not sure, perahps, again, concern of him "looking" when he shouldn't. I don't know, and maybe I should leave it alone. It just seems a bit prudish to me, and I need God's guidance on how to handle this. He's a good kid and has a heart for those who are not accepted.

Blessings.

 

[Evening Mist]

I think this is pretty common for people into body building. My dh used to lift a lot more aggressively than he does now (in college) and he kept books and magazines with pictures of body builders. He felt it was easier to identify and learn about the muscle groups on photos where they were more clearly deliniated, and it helped him learn how to focus on and develope those muscle groups in his own body. And -- he was just interested. Like any hobby. Basically, the same reason I like home decorating magazines.

It would be a shame for the parents to put the kid through an ordeal or to push him towards loosing interest in something that brings him so much joy. Have the directly voiced their concerns to him? Depending on how old he is, maybe they ought to start with a heart to heart talk with him.

In your shoes, I would talk to them. Even if it was an off-handed and casual reference to the "hobby" in a way that might reassure them. Or maybe find something written that you could give them to reassure them.

Gah, don't we parents worry our heads off at every little thing!!!??? We can't help it.

 

[mamaneenie]

Are there any signs that he is attracted to the same sex? Or even signs that he is attracted to the opposite sex?

It does sound like this is a hobby to him. He may even want to beef himself up for the girls, you never know.

I have a 2 yo, not a teen so I am not really sure how you should approach them. If they have approached you with this, then tell them your thoughts. I would think if they talked to him about it and were open and honest with him, then I would hope he would be honest in return. Parents do worry about everything, I have been a worry wart for 2 years now lol.