Parenting after divorce.

[mommame2]

I just recently divorced. I have an 8 year old son. He had been told horrible things about me by his dad. That has since stopped for the time being. But it hasn't been good.

My schedule is not good for a single mom. i make more than 6 figures and have a terrific career. But it requires work from 12:30 to 11pm at night m-f. It is not negotiable.

My question is: if you were me. Would you give up the job and career to spend more time with your child? Or use a nanny etc and bank $$$ as long as possible.

Or allow his dad to have him more often ?

 

[Odetta]

If it were me, I'd find a different job.

 

[JB123]

If I were you, I think I would be asking not "How much time do I have to work in my present job?", but "How much time am I able to spend with my son?". When you have considered that, then you should be able to consider the other points you have raised about your job and child care, and make a decision about whether you can sensibly continue in your present job.

 

[TheDag]

if you change jobs which could mean making far less money can you see yourself resenting doing that and taking it out on your child? If so then I advise going for the nanny option. It is really tough when one parent bad mouths another especially if your child brings something up but generally in the long run they will remember that you did not bad mouth the other parent and will appreciate that. I know that doesn't make it any easier when your ex bad mouths you. I am fortunate that my ex to the best of my knowledge does not bad mouth me. A friend of mine had all her kids choose to go with the dad when they divorced but one by one they all came back to her.

 

[Messy]

I just recently divorced. I have an 8 year old son. He had been told horrible things about me by his dad. That has since stopped for the time being. But it hasn't been good.

My schedule is not good for a single mom. i make more than 6 figures and have a terrific career. But it requires work from 12:30 to 11pm at night m-f. It is not negotiable.

My question is: if you were me. Would you give up the job and career to spend more time with your child? Or use a nanny etc and bank $$$ as long as possible.

Or allow his dad to have him more often ?

I'd give up the job. My sister is a doctor, but even she could get a job for 20 hours a week. I can raise three kids with a 3 day not very well paid job. No car, small apartment. Where do you need all the money and career for if you can't even be with your kid? Nannys, no way, I'd allow the dad to have them more often. That's better for the kids. Even when he and half of the chuch said I was nuts, I was glad that they were with him and not with a nanny. I think it's very bad to take a kid from the other parent.
My ex has them half the time when I work. We had a lot of badmouthing and a filthy divorce, but I called him and asked him to forgive me and then he asked me to forgive him.