Parental Problems

[Light4Christ]

Hey. So This boy and i have been courting for about 6 months now, but his parents still have a problem with it. I do not know how to approach them and tell them what it is that is on my mind. The thing is, i really like Josh, and i dont want to lose him...at all. and he feels the same way. but i cant go on with this knowing his parents have a huge problem...cause its not honoring them, which is wrong. So yeah, i just need some advice on what to do!!! cause i really want to make this work. Its not like we are young. he is 19, and im 17...so im a little young but whateva...

any advice would really help me...so PLEASE shout it out!!!

THANKS SOO MUCH

Drew

 

[msjones21]

My question is why did the two of you begin courting if it wasn't kosher with both of your parents? What are their specific problems with the two of you courting? My initial response would be that the two of you are still too young to be considering marriage, which is the purpose of a courtship. I have no really good answer other than to find out what specifically they are opposed to and then step aside to honor his parents. If it's God's will the two of you will be together through no work on your part. He will make the relationship come together from the softening of the parents' hearts. This may be God telling you this isn't the right person.

 

[desi]

You may want to try to chum up with his mom. Ask Josh what she is into and learn a bit about it so you can have something in common with her. After talking with her about the common thing ask her about her marriage and how she knew when she knew her husband was 'the one' or ask her about Josh growing up. The trick is to become her friend instead of 'another woman'.

 

[katelyn]

I think communication would be important in this situation. If you understand where they are coming from you should be able to deal with the conflict a lot more smoothly. If you really feel strongly for each other, then it would be a good idea to find out what his parents' concerns are and discuss with them possible ways that you can prove that their concerns aren't a problem.

 

[John the Engineer]

The question is why are his parents against your relationship? Until you know that you can't work through it. And have you really gotten to know them? Like people said, right now you're just "the other woman" who's taking their son away. Parents are not always rational when it comes to their children and dating. They would rather pick out their daughter-in-law (in this case), so if you're an unknown, as we all know, people fear the unknown.

 

[Light4Christ]

I found out his parents dont like it because they think we will "move too fast" which is a reasonable fear for all parentals. but its totally different with us...not meaning to sound lame and what not...but it is. I talked to his mom, and she said she just wants the best for us both, and that she doesnt want us to ruin a good thing....so yeah, we decided to put it on hold...kind of...we are still courting, but not hanging out or talking AS much as we were before...so THANKS for the advice ya'll

 

[Mrs K 2004]

I was in a similar situation! (Same age difference as well!)

His parents were high school sweethearts and they said that he may regret not knowing what else is out there!! (Which confused me on them saying they have a great relationship if they regret never experiancing other relationships!

They eventually learned that I was there for their son in instances when most girls would probably leave him! (He went into a deep depression and also had a bit of a drinking problem, before going back to God!)

I would say to stick with it and show his parents that you won't move any faster than is right for you! (My parents only courted for 6 months before getting married and they just celebrated year 25 and have been WONDERFUL!)

 

[DaveKerwin]

sit down and speak with the parents. express your thougths to them, and actually LISTEN to their concerns. Be 100% honest, and ask them for their true opinions.

honesty is key, and bringing issues out in the open is key.

 

[ZoneChaos]

I think that perhaps it is important to get all parties involved together. Your parents and his. you two are courting each other's families as much as each other.

Perhaps having knowledge of your parents approval may help them, or atleast may be a beginning if they can turn to your parents to discuss you and Josh's future.