Paranoid/ Mixed Feelings on Relationship

[Stanfi]

Ok, so I've met someone that is a 'person of interest' we'll say. The weird thing is that I find myself one minute worrying that it won't work, then the next minute worrying that it will.

If it doesn't work, then their is the potential for heartbreak. If it does, then my rountine of life could get all turned upside down!

What is one to do?!?!?

 

[covenantwmn]

Hmm....I sort of know what you mean. But I know I definitely want to remarry someday, so ultimately hope it will work with him letting me maintain the parts of my routine that mean the most to me. The Lord knows us, keep it in prayer, see what He tells you. Blessings.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

What is one to do?!?!?

Sit back and enjoy the ride.

There really is nothing you could do or say, no advice or steps that you can follow that will guarentee a heartache-free experience. In order to experience the joy that a relationship can bring, you have to be willing to take a chance on the sadness that could happen if it doesn't work out.

First thing I would do is to pray about this. Do you feel an unshakable peace with the idea of pursuing this? Is she a Godly woman as well (in both words and actions)? If the answer is "yes" to all this, that means that you are just being nervous and full of worry (which we know from whom that comes from).

Just relax and take your time getting to know one another. Who knows, this could be "the one". And if it isn't, you're now one person/step closer to the one that is.

 

[Stanfi]

Just relax and take your time getting to know one another. Who knows, this could be "the one". And if it isn't, you're now one person/step closer to the one that is.

Yeah, I know, and turn my little predictable, familary world completely upside down! That is another problem.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

Yeah, I know, and turn my little predictable, familary world completely upside down! That is another problem.

Why your world may get turned around right into the direction that leads to "THE ONE".

I believe it was C.S. Lewis that once wrote....

Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." .

No one likes a broken heart (believe me, I know ), but you've got to take that chance if you're ever going to find happiness. And this isn't giddiness tallking, but experience.

I pray that God guides you during this time.

 

[Jenster]

Stanfi I know what you mean. The freedom of singleness is precious indeed. But I think you can have a little of both - companionship and routine - when you're in a relationship. It doesn't have to turn your entire world on its ear such that you lose control of what's going on. I don't think a healthy relationship would look like that.

I've heard from my married friends that when you find a suitable person things just work out easily. That's a real sign of compatibility, if it's not too hard to get together, get along, communicate, etc.

Hope all goes well and according to the Lord's will, brother!

 

[mwb]

If the situation causes inner conflict, maybe it's not meant to be. I think a successful relationship should be natural.

 

[Ivy]

I think a certain amount of ambivalence is a part of any relationship......we all want to have both our autonomy and human connection. It's kind of like one of those balance scales going back and forth.

 

[OhhJim]

As I get older, I'm more concerned about losing my freedom in a relationship. When I was 20, I didn't really have a clear idea of what I wanted to do with my life, or the resources to pursue it, even if I had. Now that I have both, I don't want to give it up. Back then, I was perfectly happy to let a woman mold me into whatever kind of relationship she wanted, because I had few options, and there was no other way to get Godly sex. Now that I realize the sex probably won't be that great (or even present) it's easier to be objective.

I would advise myself and others to make sure they are absolutely clear on what kind of relationship they are getting, and whether or not it's worth it. What are you giving up, and what are you getting?

 

[covenantwmn]

I can see what you're saying, and yep, i'd advise putting a lot more thought into that decision now, as opposed to when we were younger. We didn't put a lot of thought into anything, lol. But the one thing i'm not clear on is the sex! Not that great?? OR EVEN PRESENT??? I'm "mature", not dead! One of the reasons i'm looking forward to being married again is that very reason.