Overweight and depressed over it

[RuthD]

I don't know how I gained this much weight. Yeah, I know I ate all the food that got me here.. Sometimes I feel like food is my friend. I saw my reflection in the dept. store mirror and freaked out. I don't have a big mirror at home so I didn't realize my stomach has gotten so big. I look like I'm ready to have a baby but I'm not. I feel bad about myself for letting myself get so big. I eat okay sometimes but then I eat quite a bit at other times, holidays especially. I feel like there is a stigma hanging over my head being this big. I need to lose 60-70 pounds. I think I've been eating over the losses of loved ones I've had and being lonely sometimes. I don't feel like I can lose it for some reason. I feel like everyone looks at me and thinks "fat blob." I don't like to use the word fat because I've been hurt by it. People have yelled out their cars at me calling me a cow and a fat b. I applied for membership at the Y. It's a special membership for low income people. It cost less to go. I've been thinking of taking lessons to swim. I'm so embarrassed in my suit I wear shorts with them. I feel like I'm too far gone in my wieght, like there is no going back to the slim me of many many years ago. I feel so depressed about being so big. Any suggestions on how to not feel depressed and be big at the same time?

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

The membership at the Y should help a lot. Regular exercise is good for your mental health and self esteem as well as your physical health.

Another thing that is good is to have support from others and to start keeping track of the things you eat. A good place where you can do both of those things online is sparkpeople.com. PM me if you'd like to know more about it or want my username over there. I am in the process of losing weight, too. (I have lost over 20 pounds and went down 2 dress sizes. I still have roughly 80 more pounds to lose before I reach my goal weight, though.)

 

[RuthD]

You're doing really good. I used to write down everything I ate when I lost weight before. I just feel hopeless this time. I don't know why. Every time I lose weight I gain it back. I have lost from 50-70 pounds about 5 times but I always gain it back. Maybe it's something psychological. At the Y I think they have some people who will help with your weight loss program. I never went for that before but maybe I should now. Thank you for your message! Good luck to you with your weight loss.

 

[Jeshu]

Hi big friends.

I'm to big as well need to lose 30 kilos before I'm happy with my size. My increase in size came with medications. I'm on three medications and all three make you put on weight.
Anyway I don't care that I'm big - I KNOW I AM - but I'm not going to give in to my tormentors and I advise you to do the same. When you don't care about the stigma then it is easier to decide what you are going to do about it. I've lost 4 kilos in two months of dieting but I got my food intake a lot more under control then I did when I started. So I hope to lose more over the next two months.

Jesus tells me I'm beautiful to Him. That matters more to me than this contemporary view about weight.

 

[Bianca01]

Hi Ruth,

I indentify with you in a way. I tend to binge though. Not sure if you do that. I will eat fine and then something triggers an emotion and I will mindlessly eat handfuls of chips or a whole pint of Ben and Jerry's. It's like I'm pushing down the feelings so they won't escape. When I do let it out sometimes I just sob and sob. Deep down in the pit of my stomach, like over-flowing sorrow, anger, fear... Trying to find books on the Binge Eating Disorder, but, I've yet to discover them. The ones I've found tend to outline rules like a diet and that doesn't work for me.

I do agree that the exercise will help you. When I exercise I feel more powerful over my emotions. Even if they come out it's more like a release than a burden. So I encourage you to pursue that. It's just better I've found to do it on a daily basis. For some reason when I miss a day it turns into days, then weeks, then a month. Maybe we can encourage each other through PM's or a continual post. That could help.

Take care.

 

[Mask]

Hi Ruth,

First of all I'm very proud of your for taking the first steps and admitting that you need help! It's great that you have joined the Y! Don't let your size keep you from going there and getting the exercise you need. It's so crazy sometimes how we think....we think we are to big/fat to go to the gym/pool to work out!! That's why we need to be there more than the skinny people...we need the exercise to help us lose the weight .

I too need to lose weight, about 30-35 pounds would be nice. I too have lost the weight and gained it back. Like some of the other poster, I eat for comfort. If something upsets me, I automatically start craving chips and pop...that's my comfort food. I'm not a really big eater, I guess I just eat the wrong things and don't exercise, my matabolism is crappy. I've started walking for a half hour on my treadmill three times a week. It's a start!

Those people were jerks, who called you names, try to ignore them. There will always be things/people to try to get you to sabatoge (sp??) you weight loss efforts...don't fall for them. You can do it! Start where you are at, and love yourself right now, at the weight you are at. Start doing things for yourself. Just think of eating healthy and exercising as doing something for you! We need to stop beating ourselves up all the time and think of the positive things about ourselves. Don't think...I've blown it because I've eaten that ice cream...think...I've gotten a bit off track here but I won't let that deter me, I could have eaten the whole tub of ice cream and I didn't! Whatever...you get my drift . Blessings and hugs to you on your journey to a healthier you . Keep posting, we will be here to support you.

 

[RuthD]

Hi big friends.

I'm to big as well need to lose 30 kilos before I'm happy with my size. My increase in size came with medications. I'm on three medications and all three make you put on weight.
Anyway I don't care that I'm big - I KNOW I AM - but I'm not going to give in to my tormentors and I advise you to do the same. When you don't care about the stigma then it is easier to decide what you are going to do about it. I've lost 4 kilos in two months of dieting but I got my food intake a lot more under control then I did when I started. So I hope to lose more over the next two months.

Jesus tells me I'm beautiful to Him. That matters more to me than this contemporary view about weight.

Yeah, people who make fun of us are being mean. I should not allow them to bring me down. I shouldn't let myself bring me down either. That's great you've been able to lose some. I'm not sure what kilos are. Yes, we all are beautiful in God's eyes. I, too, am on medication-lots of it. It's funny some days I can go without eating and other days I cannot stop. I guess being overweight isn't the worst thing in the world. I really feel sorry for those overweight people who are extremely overweight. I wish you lots of luck with your weight loss plan.

 

[RuthD]

Hi Ruth,

I indentify with you in a way. I tend to binge though. Not sure if you do that. I will eat fine and then something triggers an emotion and I will mindlessly eat handfuls of chips or a whole pint of Ben and Jerry's. It's like I'm pushing down the feelings so they won't escape. When I do let it out sometimes I just sob and sob. Deep down in the pit of my stomach, like over-flowing sorrow, anger, fear... Trying to find books on the Binge Eating Disorder, but, I've yet to discover them. The ones I've found tend to outline rules like a diet and that doesn't work for me.

I do agree that the exercise will help you. When I exercise I feel more powerful over my emotions. Even if they come out it's more like a release than a burden. So I encourage you to pursue that. It's just better I've found to do it on a daily basis. For some reason when I miss a day it turns into days, then weeks, then a month. Maybe we can encourage each other through PM's or a continual post. That could help.

Take care.

Yeah, we can pm or write right here. I binge sometimes. I also eat about 7 meals a day sometimes!! I had bulimia for a long time. I probably have damage from it. I stopped doing it because I am on medication now and I don't want to vomit my medication up. I hope I can get into exercise because I have some physical problems right now. I have pain in my left arm I'm seeing the doctor for. Hopefully he will help me out. I had a shot of cortisone and it helped and then a few days later I fell down right on my left hand. I bet that aggravated it. I have pain again. Well, somehow I'm going to exercise again. I may go swimming. I used to ask myself why I was throwing up food. I think it was to make me attractive to men. Now I'm going to lose it for me, if I can.

 

[RuthD]

Hi Ruth,

First of all I'm very proud of your for taking the first steps and admitting that you need help! It's great that you have joined the Y! Don't let your size keep you from going there and getting the exercise you need. It's so crazy sometimes how we think....we think we are to big/fat to go to the gym/pool to work out!! That's why we need to be there more than the skinny people...we need the exercise to help us lose the weight .

I too need to lose weight, about 30-35 pounds would be nice. I too have lost the weight and gained it back. Like some of the other poster, I eat for comfort. If something upsets me, I automatically start craving chips and pop...that's my comfort food. I'm not a really big eater, I guess I just eat the wrong things and don't exercise, my matabolism is crappy. I've started walking for a half hour on my treadmill three times a week. It's a start!

Those people were jerks, who called you names, try to ignore them. There will always be things/people to try to get you to sabatoge (sp??) you weight loss efforts...don't fall for them. You can do it! Start where you are at, and love yourself right now, at the weight you are at. Start doing things for yourself. Just think of eating healthy and exercising as doing something for you! We need to stop beating ourselves up all the time and think of the positive things about ourselves. Don't think...I've blown it because I've eaten that ice cream...think...I've gotten a bit off track here but I won't let that deter me, I could have eaten the whole tub of ice cream and I didn't! Whatever...you get my drift . Blessings and hugs to you on your journey to a healthier you . Keep posting, we will be here to support you.

Yes, I beat myself up about my weight. Like how did I get this big sort of thing. I hope they give me the the scholarship there. I have to wait about 3 weeks for their answer in the mail. They give you a discount if you are of low income.

People who call us names are just mean and wrong! I sometimes call myself names.lol. I am being mean to myself then.

I started eating these big slices of cake they have at the store. I know they are loaded with calories. I haven't had one in awhile.

I feel weak about losing weight. I used to be able to psyche myself up for losing weight. I think I also eat over my mom and dad's deaths. I miss them so much.

I'm still going to try to get in the frame of mind to start losing. I appreciate your feedback and everyone elses, too.

 

[RoseyK]

Hi Ruth

I saw your post and wanted to share with you my thoughts and feelings. I know how you feel. My heaviest was 330lbs. I was on anti depresants, high blood pressure meds and anti inflamatory meds because of all the pain I had in my knee and back. My self esteem was at an all time low. I keep praying asking God to take away my sin of gluttony. I would do well for a couple of months, lose 40, 50 even 70 lbs, only to have something trigger in my brain which would cause me to eat like there was no tomorrow and gain all of it plus some.

When I moved to Delaware I found a new family doctor. She really cared about my health. She took the time to listen to how I was, my homelife, my health, etc. Together we slowly got me healthy.

I tried the Y, the water was too cold for me. With my knees the way they were I was afraid that I would get in the pool and then not be able to get back out.

I wound up at a local gym full of body builders who actually took the time to care about us normal everyday people. And amazingly, it was ran by a Christian couple.

I had gastric bypass surgery to help me with my weight loss. I don't recommend it for everyone, but it saved my life. I have food restrictions, I am supposed to eat mostly protein and very little sugar. I also must take protein supplements every day (multi vitamins, calcium, iron, B6 and B12)

With the weight off, I was able to have knee replacement surgery. I can now go up and down the steps without fear of falling. I am also off all pain meds, high blood pressure meds and anti depressants.

I still get very low sometimes and I still binge on occasion. If I pick up on it when it first starts to hit, I get on the phone with my friends and try to plan a gettogether. If I don't pick up on it, I find myself curled on the couch with a blanket.

I am down to 166 lbs. 16 pounds to normal body weight. I am obsessed with my scale. I get weighed a few times a day. All I want is to be normal. To look like everyone else. To not stand out in a crowd.

My pastor and my friends tell me I am normal. They worry about me but they don't have the weight issues and so I don't think that they truly understand.

If you need someone to talk to, if I can help in any way, please let me know. Maybe we can get a small support group started. One that lifts up and encourages one another and doesn't focus on the negatives.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

You're doing really good. I used to write down everything I ate when I lost weight before. I just feel hopeless this time. I don't know why. Every time I lose weight I gain it back. I have lost from 50-70 pounds about 5 times but I always gain it back. Maybe it's something psychological. At the Y I think they have some people who will help with your weight loss program. I never went for that before but maybe I should now. Thank you for your message! Good luck to you with your weight loss.

Thanks. I have lost and gained back before, also. Like someone else posted, the weight that I am trying to lose now is from a side effect of medication. However, I also think that I have a bad metabolism and a tendency towards emotional eating, too.

If you think there's a chance that this is psychological, it is important to find new coping methods besides eating and to try and be more aware of when you're eating due to emotions. Earlier this year, I checked out a book from my church's library that was called Overcoming Overeating, I think. I thought it had some decent points, (although it was sort of annoying how long the authors took to get to those points lol).

Exercise is actually one of my coping methods now. If I am feeling anxious (which is quite often), I will clean, talk on the phone or IM, or play online games instead of eating. Of course, it helps if my family does not bring tempting food into the house in the first place. Sometimes they do and it is difficult not to overeat during those times I avoid watching TV in the living room because I've found when I do, that is often a time when I will overeat. If I watch it in my room or if I am on the computer, I don't have the urge to munch on stuff. I watch a lot of movies instead of TV programs because I get annoyed with all the food commercials, too. (It is REALLY hard to diet when you see pictures of delicious food every 15 minutes or less!)

Just some random thoughts. Not sure what else to say. I hope that the hopelessness you're feeling goes away soon and turns into hope and determination. If you are worried about gaining the weight back again, definitely look into alternative coping methods so you can prevent that from happening. In the meantime, don't let stupid, inconsiderate people's opinions keep you from doing what you need to do!

 

[StormyGale]

I can understand! I have sat at a computer for over 7 years, or at least since my mama died. I get up in the morning and stay in front of this PC until late at night. It is like a drug to me. I have lost all touch with the world all around me. My world is in a computer. Now my body is getting atrophied and I have gained weight. I do not know what to do to stop the process.

 

[RuthD]

Hi Ruth

I saw your post and wanted to share with you my thoughts and feelings. I know how you feel. My heaviest was 330lbs. I was on anti depresants, high blood pressure meds and anti inflamatory meds because of all the pain I had in my knee and back. My self esteem was at an all time low. I keep praying asking God to take away my sin of gluttony. I would do well for a couple of months, lose 40, 50 even 70 lbs, only to have something trigger in my brain which would cause me to eat like there was no tomorrow and gain all of it plus some.

When I moved to Delaware I found a new family doctor. She really cared about my health. She took the time to listen to how I was, my homelife, my health, etc. Together we slowly got me healthy.

I tried the Y, the water was too cold for me. With my knees the way they were I was afraid that I would get in the pool and then not be able to get back out.

I wound up at a local gym full of body builders who actually took the time to care about us normal everyday people. And amazingly, it was ran by a Christian couple.

I had gastric bypass surgery to help me with my weight loss. I don't recommend it for everyone, but it saved my life. I have food restrictions, I am supposed to eat mostly protein and very little sugar. I also must take protein supplements every day (multi vitamins, calcium, iron, B6 and B12)

With the weight off, I was able to have knee replacement surgery. I can now go up and down the steps without fear of falling. I am also off all pain meds, high blood pressure meds and anti depressants.

I still get very low sometimes and I still binge on occasion. If I pick up on it when it first starts to hit, I get on the phone with my friends and try to plan a gettogether. If I don't pick up on it, I find myself curled on the couch with a blanket.

I am down to 166 lbs. 16 pounds to normal body weight. I am obsessed with my scale. I get weighed a few times a day. All I want is to be normal. To look like everyone else. To not stand out in a crowd.

My pastor and my friends tell me I am normal. They worry about me but they don't have the weight issues and so I don't think that they truly understand.

If you need someone to talk to, if I can help in any way, please let me know. Maybe we can get a small support group started. One that lifts up and encourages one another and doesn't focus on the negatives.

Thank you for telling your story and all the information you gave. I am having a downer day and I do appreciate all you wrote.

 

[RuthD]

Thanks. I have lost and gained back before, also. Like someone else posted, the weight that I am trying to lose now is from a side effect of medication. However, I also think that I have a bad metabolism and a tendency towards emotional eating, too.

If you think there's a chance that this is psychological, it is important to find new coping methods besides eating and to try and be more aware of when you're eating due to emotions. Earlier this year, I checked out a book from my church's library that was called Overcoming Overeating, I think. I thought it had some decent points, (although it was sort of annoying how long the authors took to get to those points lol).

Exercise is actually one of my coping methods now. If I am feeling anxious (which is quite often), I will clean, talk on the phone or IM, or play online games instead of eating. Of course, it helps if my family does not bring tempting food into the house in the first place. Sometimes they do and it is difficult not to overeat during those times I avoid watching TV in the living room because I've found when I do, that is often a time when I will overeat. If I watch it in my room or if I am on the computer, I don't have the urge to munch on stuff. I watch a lot of movies instead of TV programs because I get annoyed with all the food commercials, too. (It is REALLY hard to diet when you see pictures of delicious food every 15 minutes or less!)

Just some random thoughts. Not sure what else to say. I hope that the hopelessness you're feeling goes away soon and turns into hope and determination. If you are worried about gaining the weight back again, definitely look into alternative coping methods so you can prevent that from happening. In the meantime, don't let stupid, inconsiderate people's opinions keep you from doing what you need to do!

You said a lot of things that make sense. There are many other ways to cope. Maybe I will make a list of them. Thank you for your message.

 

[RuthD]

I can understand! I have sat at a computer for over 7 years, or at least since my mama died. I get up in the morning and stay in front of this PC until late at night. It is like a drug to me. I have lost all touch with the world all around me. My world is in a computer. Now my body is getting atrophied and I have gained weight. I do not know what to do to stop the process.

Have you seen a doctor or nutritionist. I am glued to this computer, too. I go to the doctors for help, like high cholesterol. Do you have a porch or a car? Sitting out on the porch can be nice. Taking a scenic drive can be an uplifting thing. These are things I need to do actually. I should take walks but I don't like to walk alone. I hope things get better for you. Praying for you to find answers. I am very sorry you lost your mom. I did too.

 

[Starr SDA Living Word]

Praying for you my special friend. I am overweight myself. I have to lose more then 100 pounds. I also gained weight with my depression and meds, I am a dibetic and my insulin is making me gain weight. I have given my weight problem over to God, He is helping me lose the weight now. I have a sleeping disorder so my nights and days get mixed up. So I eat at all the wrong times. Ruth you know me. I will be praying for you, that is for sure. Your a very special lady. I love yah and so does God. You are a blessing to so many.

God bless you in all you put your mind into.