- Jul 2, 2006
- 90,795
- 20,530
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Others
I don't know how I gained this much weight. Yeah, I know I ate all the food that got me here.. Sometimes I feel like food is my friend. I saw my reflection in the dept. store mirror and freaked out. I don't have a big mirror at home so I didn't realize my stomach has gotten so big. I look like I'm ready to have a baby but I'm not. I feel bad about myself for letting myself get so big. I eat okay sometimes but then I eat quite a bit at other times, holidays especially. I feel like there is a stigma hanging over my head being this big. I need to lose 60-70 pounds. I think I've been eating over the losses of loved ones I've had and being lonely sometimes. I don't feel like I can lose it for some reason. I feel like everyone looks at me and thinks "fat blob." I don't like to use the word fat because I've been hurt by it. People have yelled out their cars at me calling me a cow and a fat b. I applied for membership at the Y. It's a special membership for low income people. It cost less to go. I've been thinking of taking lessons to swim. I'm so embarrassed in my suit I wear shorts with them. I feel like I'm too far gone in my wieght, like there is no going back to the slim me of many many years ago. I feel so depressed about being so big. Any suggestions on how to not feel depressed and be big at the same time?