Overcoming inappropriate contentographic Activity and Addiction-Couples Support and Recovery Thread

[joyful11]

There have been many threads in the Women's Discussion about women who are dealing with their husband's inappropriate content addiction. I am starting this thread by the request of Canuk who is willing to share and offer a male's perspective, and the agreement of Pete56. If other men out there are recovering from inappropriate content (lust) addictions, feel free to post. Having said that, I'd like to make it clear that this is not a thread to argue whether inappropriate content is right or wrong or to argue whether it damages a marriage. We are trusting that any men who post here agree that inappropriate content is wrong under any circumstance and that it has very damaging effects on marriage. If you'd like to argue with any of this, please use another thread. There are many of us hurting wives who really need help and advice and don't need to be arguing about whether inappropriate content has been damaging to our marriages. Women- feel free to ask questions. Men- feel free to share your experience.

 

[Tishri1]

Mod Hat:

Copied from the original post to stickie in this main area for continued discussion. This is a PG 13 rated thread, following CF's forum rules found here

 

[Romanseight2005]

So the posts that were on that thread won't be copied? Is there any way for them to be?

 

[Tishri1]

no but the discussion can continue here

 

[Romanseight2005]

Can the old post be found anywhere? Like can they be archived?

 

[Garion]

Addiction is a nasty thing. I feel like I have been doing good. Even better than at first, but the temptation and little rationalizing voices in my head still talk to me every day... You can't have a moment of weakness or else it seeps in. Maybe it gets easier in time.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Addiction is a nasty thing. I feel like I have been doing good. Even better than at first, but the temptation and little rationalizing voices in my head still talk to me every day... You can't have a moment of weakness or else it seeps in. Maybe it gets easier in time.

I would like to focus on the bolded part above. I very much believe that renewing your mind is key. There has to be a line drawn that is extremely bold, and unmoving. It has to, "Make NO provision for the flesh." You have to decide when you are in a right state of mind, where those lines need to be drawn. They even seem extreme to some, but they have to be there. Pray, ask God to show you those areas you may not even realize are there. Scripture says that there will always be a way of escape. Pray that God will make that way aware to you, and that it will be prominent in your heart and mind. Ask God to help you see the sin for what it really is. Ask Him to help you to see clearly, and to not be deceived. Ask Him to help you to want Him, and His holiness, more than you want, your sin. Remember that the enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy you, and everything, and everyone, you love.

 

[Tishri1]

Can the old post be found anywhere? Like can they be archived?

the latesy thread is still stickied in the read only forum of personal topics, is that what your looking for? all the previous ones are linked off of that one too

 

[Romanseight2005]

the latesy thread is still stickied in the read only forum of personal topics, is that what your looking for? all the previous ones are linked off of that one too

Yes thank you. I just thought that those read only threads were going to go away. I guess I am making a plea to keep them. They are fine as read only.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Garion, what kind of plan do you have in place? You need to be sure that you are seeing this as a war.Think of the battle plan, the weapons, and most of all vulnerabilities. Ask God to let no weapon formed agaist prosper. Ask for prayer support. Know that God loves you so much, and He wants you free. Do you keep a journal by chance? Perhaps that could help you identify your weak points, and you could prayerfully have a plan of action. Most of all, don't allow yourself character flaws like lying. Anytime that rationalizing voice comes to you, learn to recognize it.Learn what God says about it, and fight those thoughts with the Word of God. The more His word is in you, the stronger you will be against your enemy. I know that for me, lying became the big sin. I couldn't stand it any ore. The Lord showed me that if I thought first, and practiced patience, that those times of needing to tell the truth were actually less. Because with my new way of thinking I Need to do the right thing. I did want to List this scripture.

Gen 1:1 - Eccl 3:8

To everything there is a season,A time for every purpose under heaven :
2 A time to be born,And a time to die;A time to plant,And a time to pluck what is planted; 3 A time to kill,And a time to heal;A time to break down,And a time to build up; 4 A time to weep,And a time to laugh;A time to mourn,And a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones,And a time to gather stones;A time to embrace,And a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to gain,And a time to lose;A time to keep,And a time to throw away; 7 A time to tear,And a time to sew;A time to keep silence,And a time to speak; 8 A time to love,And a time to hate;A time of war,And a time of peace.
NKJV

It gives me peace to wait on his timing.'

 

[chaz345]

Addiction is a nasty thing. I feel like I have been doing good. Even better than at first, but the temptation and little rationalizing voices in my head still talk to me every day... You can't have a moment of weakness or else it seeps in. Maybe it gets easier in time.

It does. As you "rewire" your response to stress or boredom or pain or whatever your trigger is, it, over time becomes more automatic and less of a consious choice to use a healthy coping mechanism rather than a destructive one.

 

[lavenderbees]

What about the LIES? How can a marriage survive the lies.

He swears blind that he is not interested in inappropriate contentography.

 

[HarryCovert]

Oh Medusa, all men, before the Lord enters their lives, have some interest in inappropriate contentography. Some even afterward, because they fail to pray. Pray for your husband and make sure that he prays as well. Grab him by the ear, and force him to his knees if need be, but he must ask the Lord for strength and forgiveness, or he will be forever at the mercy of that one who delights in spectacles of the flesh.

 

[McScribe]

I know that I'm single now, but I'd appreciate some prayer from some who know me here--I'd even appreciate an accountability partner of some kind. Today I've been really fighting the urge to look at online inappropriate contentography, and I know that this is frankly my flesh and the devil tempting me, urging me not to stand fast in my faith. I know that this is words of condemnation I'm struggling to overcome, attacks on my sense of my manhood and hope for the future. I know that what is in me because of Christ is feeling loving towards women, treasuring them as God's creation. I'd really like support particularly in prayers based on Ephesians 6 and Romans 8 so that I can be firmly opposed to the will of the world and the deceptions of my flesh and of the devil. What matters most to be is that I be a good example to my family and that I can remain solidly leading childrens' ministry at my church. I would really appreciate exhortation, prayer and encouragement to stay firm in the faith on this.

 

[Romanseight2005]

Lord I lift up McScribe to you and ask for you to give him a hedge of protection. Please lead him not into temptation, but deliver him from evil. I ask that You comfort him, and fill his heart with the peace that surpasses all understanding. Fill his heart and mind with Your desires, Lord, and cause him to walk in your statutes. I also ask that You give him a fresh and new revelation of your love for him. Please raise up an army of prayer warriors to fight this spiritual battle, on his behalf. I ask these things in Jesus Christ;s Name, Amen!

 

[McScribe]

Thank you Romans, praise God, I was coming here today and hoping that I'd get some help, someone being that two at least where two or three are gathered in Jesus' name. I really appreciate your prayer, thank you again so much. Praise the Lord for fellow believers.

 

[BigDaddy4]

Lord I lift up McScribe to you and ask for you to give him a hedge of protection. Please lead him not into temptation, but deliver him from evil. I ask that You comfort him, and fill his heart with the peace that surpasses all understanding. Fill his heart and mind with Your desires, Lord, and cause him to walk in your statutes. I also ask that You give him a fresh and new revelation of your love for him. Please raise up an army of prayer warriors to fight this spiritual battle, on his behalf. I ask these things in Jesus Christ;s Name, Amen!

Standing in agreement with Romans for McScribe...

 

[Romanseight2005]

Thank you Romans, praise God, I was coming here today and hoping that I'd get some help, someone being that two at least where two or three are gathered in Jesus' name. I really appreciate your prayer, thank you again so much. Praise the Lord for fellow believers.

 

[plmarquette]

1 Cor 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
1 Cor 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

we all need to be wanted, needed, and appreciated...sex is not a crow bar to get your way...it is part of the glue that keeps a couple together...to withold affection, for what ever the reason will push spouse to an alternate release or the arms of a nother

 

[chaz345]

we all need to be wanted, needed, and appreciated...sex is not a crow bar to get your way...it is part of the glue that keeps a couple together...to withold affection, for what ever the reason will push spouse to an alternate release or the arms of a nother

While this is generally true, in the context of a discussion of inappropriate content use, it's not, IMO constructive because it can tend to be seen, by someone who is there, as suggesting that the other person's inappropriate content use is your fault. And there's already a tendency for them to wrongly feel that way.