Over 50 And Divorced? How Are You Doing?

[LisaMC-D]

I ask because while I think I am doing fine, many times I am not.

 

[LisaMC-D]

So, I thought it might be a good idea for us to have a thread to just share with love. Some of us might need to write, while some of us might need to just read and pray! Anyway, I hope this serves all. Lisa

 

[mjmcmillan]

I manage. Sometimes the memories come back,hardly ever good ones. When it gets particularly bad I mutter something on the order of "Never again".

I've been through two divorces. The last time around--- dear God, never again.

 

[LisaMC-D]

I manage. Sometimes the memories come back,hardly ever good ones. When it gets particularly bad I mutter something on the order of "Never again".

I've been through two divorces. The last time around--- dear God, never again.

Wow! You are a survivor! How do you handle the loneliness? I got a Beagle! Can you keep busy? I don't know what to do with all the pictures...from the marriage and failed relationships. Sometimes I think "BONFIRE!!!!!!!" (giggle)

 

[LisaMC-D]

So, MJ, from what planet do you hail from?

 

[clairefish]

hey tristan, if you need fodder for that bonfire, holler.

 

[mjmcmillan]

Wow! You are a survivor! How do you handle the loneliness? I got a Beagle! Can you keep busy? I don't know what to do with all the pictures...from the marriage and failed relationships. Sometimes I think "BONFIRE!!!!!!!" (giggle)

Short answer; the loneliness I handle by not thinking about it much. Sometimes not as successful as others, though. The holidays can be hard that way, especially since my youngest brother and my sister have both moved out of the area. So, no big family get-togethers here. Not that holidays meant much to them anyway seeing that they're Jehovah's Witnesses, but last year I did get an invite to spend some time at my sister's place last year. This year two thousand miles make that a trifle difficult.

About keeping busy--- I'm a delivery driver. It varies a bit, but my day starts at about 4:00 and I'll be doing good to get back here by 7:00 in the evening. My weekends are a bit slack these days.

Pictures..... Ahh, magnetic tape and hard drives. A bulk eraser took care of the tapes and hitting the delete key dealt with images on the hard drive.

The planet.... Earth. Bit of a strange place with wars and famines and problems galore.

 

[LisaMC-D]

Short answer; the loneliness I handle by not thinking about it much. Sometimes not as successful as others, though. The holidays can be hard that way, especially since my youngest brother and my sister have both moved out of the area. So, no big family get-togethers here. Not that holidays meant much to them anyway seeing that they're Jehovah's Witnesses, but last year I did get an invite to spend some time at my sister's place last year. This year two thousand miles make that a trifle difficult.

About keeping busy--- I'm a delivery driver. It varies a bit, but my day starts at about 4:00 and I'll be doing good to get back here by 7:00 in the evening. My weekends are a bit slack these days.

Pictures..... Ahh, magnetic tape and hard drives. A bulk eraser took care of the tapes and hitting the delete key dealt with images on the hard drive.

The planet.... Earth. Bit of a strange place with wars and famines and problems galore.

(giggle) VERY amusing...planet Earth.

I guess you do keep busy.

I think one of the things I struggle with is when the ex pulls a bonehead-move, I need to forgive...and not think of him necessarily as a bonehead!

 

[LisaMC-D]

hey tristan, if you need fodder for that bonfire, holler.

You are most generous, Claire! (and very funny) Thank you!

 

[LisaMC-D]

I think my biggest struggle right now is with memories from my marriage and relationships after. I get so bogged down and introspective whenever my mind wanders.
ie: He was sooooo nice. What did I do that was wrong?
I remember when we went..........(fill in the blank) He said he loved me then 'changed his mind.'
He said I made him so happy last Christmas. How come by Easter of this year I was toxic?
How come I could not 'fix' him?
How can a husband choose drugs over a wife?
Sometimes, I think of myself as walking on a journey no one except Christ could understand. Just some musings...

 

[LisaMC-D]

I was recently asked how I justified my divorce; or more specifically how my divorce fit with 1 Corinthians 7. I honestly appreciated the question, but felt defensive. Anyone else out there ever feel the same?

 

[kaykay9.0]

I think my biggest struggle right now is with memories from my marriage and relationships after. I get so bogged down and introspective whenever my mind wanders.
ie: He was sooooo nice. What did I do that was wrong?
I remember when we went..........(fill in the blank) He said he loved me then 'changed his mind.'
He said I made him so happy last Christmas. How come by Easter of this year I was toxic?
How come I could not 'fix' him?
How can a husband choose drugs over a wife?
Sometimes, I think of myself as walking on a journey no one except Christ could understand. Just some musings...

Not divorced so pardon me for interjecting myself here.:o Just want to reiterate something you probably already know...often it isn't "you," it's just "them" and whatever issues they are battling.

 

[mjmcmillan]

I was recently asked how I justified my divorce; or more specifically how my divorce fit with 1 Corinthians 7. I honestly appreciated the question, but felt defensive. Anyone else out there ever feel the same?

Paul said quite a bit in that chapter, how did the person who questioned you about it narrow it down? What was that person aiming at?

Circumstances play a big part in these things. While it's true in my case that I filed for divorce, it's also true that my now ex-wife demanded it and became quite violent about it. Yes, I'm certain that drugs and alcohol and infidelity all had bit parts to play too. (I don't drink, do drugs or mess around--- you can figure the rest for yourself.) How would 1 Corinthians 7 handle this? How would the person who questioned you handle something like this?

 

[LisaMC-D]

MJ, I sometimes get the feeling that if I am divorced, I am not "in contention." I don't mind someone feeling that way as a future partner, but I hope and pray I am not being judged. Do you know what I mean?

 

[Catherineanne]

I ask because while I think I am doing fine, many times I am not.

Mostly I am ok, but I still have my daughter at home. Next year, when she is at uni, it may be different.

I am trying to put outside interests in place, before then, to help me cope.

 

[Catherineanne]

I manage. Sometimes the memories come back,hardly ever good ones. When it gets particularly bad I mutter something on the order of "Never again".

I've been through two divorces. The last time around--- dear God, never again.

I divorced my ex ten years ago. Once was enough for me.

 

[Catherineanne]

Wow! You are a survivor! How do you handle the loneliness? I got a Beagle! Can you keep busy? I don't know what to do with all the pictures...from the marriage and failed relationships. Sometimes I think "BONFIRE!!!!!!!" (giggle)

A bonfire; what a good idea!!

On the other hand, keep some of them; not because of 'the others', but because of yourself; this is your life story, and that matters; it is how you became the person you are today.

 

[LisaMC-D]

Hi Catherine!

 

[Catherineanne]

Hi Catherine!

Hiya!!

 

[Catherineanne]

I was recently asked how I justified my divorce; or more specifically how my divorce fit with 1 Corinthians 7. I honestly appreciated the question, but felt defensive. Anyone else out there ever feel the same?

Here is a useful line from Mary Poppins:

'I never explain anything.'

Works for me.