Our (very wonderful) coffee shop, just for us!

[Soulwings]

Gerry, thank you for your words. Once again - they are wise.

When I am in the middle of a panic attack, it is hard to not think of what I am feeling then and there... but I am getting to the point of if Jarrod is there, I have him pray for/over me, and if he's not, well, I do my best, pray my hardest, and use the grounding techniques that I've learned and that I'm teaching myself slowly as the days go by.

Fears are not easy things to face. My hugest fear is of throwing up, from a traumatic experience when I was five (whole family got food poisoning while 800 miles from home). Yet I am becoming able to tell myself that even if I throw up, I will be okay. That is a huge step for me, for before I couldn't even think up to the point of me maybe throwing up. And I am not close to it when I am panicky - it's just that I think I am - and it is so hard to fight those thoughts, the "oh no, what am I going to do, I feel awful, I'm so scared, I don't know what to do" - those thoughts.

I want to find freedom from anxiety. I really do. I'm trying my hardest to tackle the panic attacks, because they can be so debilitating, but it is so hard!!!! But... I am honestly working at it, and with God's help and truth, I will be able to overcome them someday. Don't know when, but the day will come when I can just work past them. It's coming, I can feel it now. It's just not here quite yet.

...

I am doing better as far as my psychosis goes. This morning was really bad and I am still low today - so much work to do, as I said before - but I got most of it done, thankfully. So stressed about it, though. But I am not so afraid of the apartment, although this morning, when I left, believe me, I was almost running away from it. Coming back was better, because I was so exhausted and just wanted to lie down on our bed... safe there.

Anyway. I should go and get ready for bed, early to bed and early to rise. I should be back on tomorrow morning early!! s Have a lovely evening/day.

 

[JesusFreak2008]

So my day has been really..really..tiring and stressful. I don't even know if those are the words for my day. My Fears were confirmed from earlier this week, I was indeed manic, with the no sleep, and the feeling on top of the world, I'm just hoping rapid cycling doesnt come back, because thats not what I need right now.

I awoke to the dog trying to tear apart the rug. Note that I haven't been sleeping very well lately, stupid night mares and stuff. So, three days, only about, say..5 hours of sleep, and then waking up in a decent sleep..to the darn dog who decided to tear apart the rug in the room mates room. When I attempted to discipline him, he bit me. I'm fine, just a few bruises. So, besides that, I continue to my bedroom where I sign online hoping that Max was online, which he was not. I just wanted to give him a happy birthday, but did not get my wish.

So from there, I went to work, feeling miserable because I'm sick. I threw up again today..and I don't know whats wrong with me. So I went to work and it was going okay, until my mom decided to yell at me for two hours straight about absolutely nothing! She always has to call me and say the meanest things to me. That was where it all started to go down hill for me..Mom was trying to tell me that she didn't need to give the VIN # out to purchase car insurance, which you do need it for, and so, I told her she was wrong, and she didn't like that, well then she brought up the abortion topic, and we all know how i feel about that, and so I got all upset at work.

Then Jason came home from work and decided to yell at me. I was on the phone and he couldnt respect that, and instead decided to accuse me of putting the dog in Marks room, which we all know I woke up to, so how was I the one that did that? And then the mac and cheese was too cheesy, and then I lied about his work calling the house looking for him. He said some mean words to me..mostly about "Ya, okay your not lying, but yet you cheated on me three times" so that went all well, because I snapped at that point and told him "Back the #$%@ off because I'm not in the mood tonight for your stuff, and then said some other not so nice words..that went over well, because he decided to say..do it..which just irritated me even more.

Then I come back into my room, to try and finish work, and then Max signed on and told me that his cell phone decided to get taken away in formation because people in his platoon were being stupid by thinking it was funny to go around slapping other guys in the groin area, so no talking to Max tonight..and when I needed to feel loved the most..and on the verge of tears..he said he had to go because it was lights out..

So my night has been one bad thing after the other, and i crashed..because well..now im depressed thanks to my mom..see how she triggers me, or maybe i just want to blame her for everything right now..i dont know..


​

 

[BlessedMommy05]

Hello Everyone....

Well finally found out the results from the biopsy, and its a Neg for Cancer, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its just fibroids (Spelling)? so they'll check in 6 months to see how its doing and how I feel.. Then we'll do an annuel checkup now for life..

It was a long day , I called around 12:00 pm and finally got the call around 3:00 pm due to calling and hounding. At first, I was gonna have to go in, and the 2nd phone call was I was able to not have to go in, and get what I needed over the phone.. Yeah!


Still recovering and healing but doing slowly alot better.. Today we went grocery shopping and got T-day food and reg food for the house.. I am sooo happy.. Made my day.. Any who thats my day. Gonna relax now though, pretty tired been up for awhile.. Thank you all for prayers and support, it means alot to me.. Blessings...


Laura

 

[Jeshu]

So my day has been really..really..tiring and stressful. I don't even know if those are the words for my day. My Fears were confirmed from earlier this week, I was indeed manic, with the no sleep, and the feeling on top of the world, I'm just hoping rapid cycling doesnt come back, because thats not what I need right now.

I awoke to the dog trying to tear apart the rug. Note that I haven't been sleeping very well lately, stupid night mares and stuff. So, three days, only about, say..5 hours of sleep, and then waking up in a decent sleep..to the darn dog who decided to tear apart the rug in the room mates room. When I attempted to discipline him, he bit me. I'm fine, just a few bruises. So, besides that, I continue to my bedroom where I sign online hoping that Max was online, which he was not. I just wanted to give him a happy birthday, but did not get my wish.

So from there, I went to work, feeling miserable because I'm sick. I threw up again today..and I don't know whats wrong with me. So I went to work and it was going okay, until my mom decided to yell at me for two hours straight about absolutely nothing! She always has to call me and say the meanest things to me. That was where it all started to go down hill for me..Mom was trying to tell me that she didn't need to give the VIN # out to purchase car insurance, which you do need it for, and so, I told her she was wrong, and she didn't like that, well then she brought up the abortion topic, and we all know how i feel about that, and so I got all upset at work.

Then Jason came home from work and decided to yell at me. I was on the phone and he couldnt respect that, and instead decided to accuse me of putting the dog in Marks room, which we all know I woke up to, so how was I the one that did that? And then the mac and cheese was too cheesy, and then I lied about his work calling the house looking for him. He said some mean words to me..mostly about "Ya, okay your not lying, but yet you cheated on me three times" so that went all well, because I snapped at that point and told him "Back the #$%@ off because I'm not in the mood tonight for your stuff, and then said some other not so nice words..that went over well, because he decided to say..do it..which just irritated me even more.

Then I come back into my room, to try and finish work, and then Max signed on and told me that his cell phone decided to get taken away in formation because people in his platoon were being stupid by thinking it was funny to go around slapping other guys in the groin area, so no talking to Max tonight..and when I needed to feel loved the most..and on the verge of tears..he said he had to go because it was lights out..

So my night has been one bad thing after the other, and i crashed..because well..now im depressed thanks to my mom..see how she triggers me, or maybe i just want to blame her for everything right now..i dont know..


​

April I don't mean to shock you but vomiting all the time - could you be pregnant?

Hoping you are still okay - even now!

Gerry

 

[Jeshu]

Gerry, thank you for your words. Once again - they are wise.

When I am in the middle of a panic attack, it is hard to not think of what I am feeling then and there... but I am getting to the point of if Jarrod is there, I have him pray for/over me, and if he's not, well, I do my best, pray my hardest, and use the grounding techniques that I've learned and that I'm teaching myself slowly as the days go by.

Fears are not easy things to face. My hugest fear is of throwing up, from a traumatic experience when I was five (whole family got food poisoning while 800 miles from home). Yet I am becoming able to tell myself that even if I throw up, I will be okay. That is a huge step for me, for before I couldn't even think up to the point of me maybe throwing up. And I am not close to it when I am panicky - it's just that I think I am - and it is so hard to fight those thoughts, the "oh no, what am I going to do, I feel awful, I'm so scared, I don't know what to do" - those thoughts.

I want to find freedom from anxiety. I really do. I'm trying my hardest to tackle the panic attacks, because they can be so debilitating, but it is so hard!!!! But... I am honestly working at it, and with God's help and truth, I will be able to overcome them someday. Don't know when, but the day will come when I can just work past them. It's coming, I can feel it now. It's just not here quite yet.

...

I am doing better as far as my psychosis goes. This morning was really bad and I am still low today - so much work to do, as I said before - but I got most of it done, thankfully. So stressed about it, though. But I am not so afraid of the apartment, although this morning, when I left, believe me, I was almost running away from it. Coming back was better, because I was so exhausted and just wanted to lie down on our bed... safe there.

Anyway. I should go and get ready for bed, early to bed and early to rise. I should be back on tomorrow morning early!! s Have a lovely evening/day.

Please April don't understand me wrongly, I would never accuse you for being scared - or still scared or whatever... yet always remind you today is the day to be saved.

Fighting fear isn't an one off battle usually - though one last battle will end it - when you pass on from here to there - from this perspective fear is fine - understandable and not sinful or wicked - but you must travel from your current lies into the truth of God's love to win the battle within.


Always understand that the first victory over FEAR is to not believe or ever HEED accusations about yourself - YOU the fearful one - are loved by God and He is eager to save you!

- please know, I know that you are not brave, but I love you anyway and will NEVER think bad about you, or try to bring you down for being scared! God forbid I would entertain such thinking about anyone let alone you my sister in the Lord and illness.

Honest that's the truth - however the fearful one in you is not often with us in the faith and love is often lacking during your fearful times - as lovelessness is what attacks you worst of all and you fear it bad! Nothing shameful about that lovelessness is VERY SCARY INDEED.

Those lying thoughts and feelings - that's the problem - see such times are all those times you have given in to your fears. Years of fears attacking!

Replace all lying thoughts with truth -arrest those lies - good stuff - keep doing that until God's goodness casts you dead to heeding fear. After that your new self will grow.

For me it went something like this.

Lord I hate myself, always freaking about nothing and heeding lies. For years I've tried to stop being fearful but now I know I can't, I'm just a coward and as such have no right to the tree of life - please cast me dead to myself in fear so I might find new life in Jesus and be fearless instead like fear himself. In Jesus Name I ask.

I prayed this each time I got scared - I denied myself my own existence and starved myself to death by not eating those lies any more but in Truth let myself be taken away, so Jesus truth could become true in my life instead of my own sinful truth.

(Later, (very soon) Jesus saved me and then He showed me the truth, that it were the medications and not myself who was scared that was to blame - we had a good cry and then an even better laugh together about all that then. I hope you will also experience this soon.)

Honestly true April you are not going to achieve this - overcome your fear yourself - only dying in and for Jesus can renew your heart. Try dying to your fear instead of fighting it. I'm sure it will help - as He did for me He will do for you.




Isaiah 8:31

The LORD Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread,


Psalm 91

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say ] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."
3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.
9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

 

[JesusFreak2008]

April I don't mean to shock you but vomiting all the time - could you be pregnant?

Hoping you are still okay - even now!

Gerry

DONT SAY THAT..PLEASE

THATS THE LAST THING I NEED RIGHT NOW..

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

I maybe mistaken, but didn't you say Jesus Freak you couldn't get pregnant? You hang in there now, everything will be alright, and remember God loves you!

 

[lmarie23]

hi everyone.

wow, a lot has been going on in here. i'm not really sure what to say to everything. it sounds like a lot is going on in people's lives.

my life is pretty boring lately. had the weekend off and i went to a concert at a coffeehouse the one day and a jazz concert the next day. The jazz band was very very good. and i don't like jazz so that is good. i liked them. been doing tons of art projects to give as Christmas presents, so i've been keeping very busy. my computer is finally fixed. work is going well except our new supervisor is very strict and he is always checking up on us, we feel like we are constantly being watched, kind of a big brother type thing. it's just stressful, and it's not like we are even doing anything wrong, it just stresses us out. there are so many nit-picky regulations, hard to follow them all.

leaving for vacation on Saturday and counting down the days. well, i actually have Friday off too. i'm off Friday-Wednesday which will be awesome.

Well, there's my news. Sorry I'm not responding to everyone else. I will try to once I feel up to it. I need sleep right now.

Lynne

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Get some rest Lynn hope to talk to you soon!

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Whoops double post sorry about that guys and gals. Remember as they say in math, the greatest power isn't to the ten, it is thepower of love, God loves you!

 

[Soulwings]

Just checking in, I'll respond to posts later, I guess. I feel like I have to respond to everyone's all the time, which is unrealistic I suppose..... but I don't know. ???

...

I'm doing okay. Really tired because I didn't have coffee this morning (anxiety levels were way too high then), but am doing alright. The presentation in one of my nutrition classes went well this morning and I'm glad to have it out of the way. I didn't dress up as much as I could've so I really hope that we don't get points taken away because of that. I think I'm still professional looking (ish) even though I'm wearing jeans (they're black) and Airwalks. A knit sweater completes the outfit.

Not much going on. I should hie myself off to my next class (sitting in the hallway for an hour..... I need a life). I feel like something bad would happen if I didn't get there that early. Go figure. I know I'm a little messed up, but really...

 

[JesusFreak2008]

I maybe mistaken, but didn't you say Jesus Freak you couldn't get pregnant? You hang in there now, everything will be alright, and remember God loves you!

Your not mistaken. I'm not suppose to be able to. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, thyroid disease and diabetes, which makes my hormones all outa wack. To enlighten people a bit, I havent had my period in over three months..so that sorta explains the hormones out of wack and unable to get pregnant part. See, when you dont regularly release an egg, you become classified as "infertile" now that does not mean I'm not able to, but I believe I'm not able to.

3 Miscarraiges
3 Stillborns

No luck, and I'm only 19.

 

[JesusFreak2008]

Sorry for the double post. While it dreads me to think that a mistake, which is purly what this will be, a stupid mistake..I took Jeshu and you all's advice. I set up an appointment tomorrow, where they are going to give me a pregnancy test. I am nervous, mostly because I don't want to have to deal with Jason for the rest of my life..and I don't want to have a repeat of Kalleigh..and I don't know anymore..

Jason got physical with me last night again, resulting in me having a sprained hand, several sprained fingers and a gash in my other hand from where he bit me. Yes, you heard right, he bit me. I don't think I can wait much longer until the 28th..I'm trying Lord..please help me...
​

 

[Jeshu]

Your not mistaken. I'm not suppose to be able to. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome, thyroid disease and diabetes, which makes my hormones all outa wack. To enlighten people a bit, I havent had my period in over three months..so that sorta explains the hormones out of wack and unable to get pregnant part. See, when you dont regularly release an egg, you become classified as "infertile" now that does not mean I'm not able to, but I believe I'm not able to.

3 Miscarraiges
3 Stillborns

No luck, and I'm only 19.

God bless you dear sister, everything is still be fine, please don't stress out too much, life is good, not bad, if you didn't get pregnant it is good and if you did it is good as well. To me it seems you can't loose.

About your physical troubles

poly cystic ovarian syndrome - my daughter has this as well and is now pregnant of her second child completely naturally, so it can happen.

thyroid disease and diabetes do not prohibit pregnancy as far as I know.

Psych medication, now that might be much more dangerous. That God keep you safe April through this time.

About Jason, the best way to deal with Woman bashers is to dob them in to the police, such people need to realise they cannot go around throwing their muscles around against the 'weaker vessels.' Honest they need the threat of trhe law to keep them from becoming physical.

Take care April such violent people are worse than dangerous, keep out of his way as much as you can.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

Jesus Freak I am sorry for what you are going through, he bit you, well do what you got to do, butpeople like that should be in jail, it wasn't your fault that he bit you if this keeps up you are going to ned an attorney, because idiots like that then try to say "I bit her but it was self defense." Then you'll need a lawyer, if he is in jail, you can stay at the apartment until 28 then get out of there and hide from that guy.

This is all way the hell easier said than done, I realize that, this is free advice so it is only worth so much if you were talking to a social worker that handles battered woman maybe they could guide you better. You take care of yourself, and hang in there I hope it gets better, and this too shall pass!

 

[lmarie23]

hi everyone.

i hope you're having a good day, April. i like your use of the word "hie" in your last post. it's such a fun word. i used the word "austere" at Bible study on Saturday, when we were thinking of words to describe John the Baptist and his lifestyle. and people were impressed but i thought it was just a normal word. there are some words i love but i never seem to be able to work into conversation. like "lackadaisacal" - i probably spelled it wrong. it's such a fun word though.

i had a rough night last night. i was up until 4 am. partly it was because i'm kind of afraid of my bed right now, because it collapsed under me Friday night (i have this bed i recently inherited from my grandma and the slats fall out sometimes). i moved around too much so they fell out, and it really scared and startled me. so i'm afraid to go to the bed to go to sleep. and partly because my thoughts were all depressed and weird. i just kept thinking about how i've wasted my life. how i have all these talents and abilities and i've just squandered them. i could have a better job that actually uses some of my talents and challenges my mind. i could have studied something useful in college and not just art. and i didn't even learn enough art. i had so much going for me and i blew it. i have friends who have accomplished so many amazing things, and here i am working a job that pays hardly anything, doing very humbling work that doesn't take any skill or ability or education. not that i don't think the work i do is important, because it is in a way. i just feel like i'm wasting my life, and treading water waiting for my real life to start. i feel like such a failure. i had a mental breakdown and now i'm just trying to keep my head above water. just trying to stay sane. i want to be a counselor but how do i expect to counsel others when i'm not always level-headed myself? i can't think of any job i would be really good at and enjoy. i got so depressed. i felt like i wanted to reach out to someone but i didn't know who to reach out to. i didn't want to reach out to a friend, because i didn't want to jeopardize a friendship with a depressing late night email. so i sent two emails, one to a professor who leads a Bible study i'm in, and one to the pastor of my new church. but i don't know, i shouldn't have shared with them that junk i'm struggling with. they didn't want to hear it, probably. neither has responded. i just don't know what to think sometimes. when i get to thinking like this, i always end up scolding myself and telling myself that it's just my silly pride that makes me think my life should be better. though i have a lot of talents, that doesn't mean i should have a better life. i should be content with things how they are. i don't know why i keep having an issue with it.

i don't know. i'm just tired.

A-M, I'm concerned about you. Jason should Not be treating you like this - stay safe! i think getting yourself checked out by the doctor sounds like a good idea too. you have been through so much lately, make sure to take care of yourself.

Lynne

 

[JesusFreak2008]

Jesus Freak I am sorry for what you are going through, he bit you, well do what you got to do, butpeople like that should be in jail, it wasn't your fault that he bit you if this keeps up you are going to ned an attorney, because idiots like that then try to say "I bit her but it was self defense." Then you'll need a lawyer, if he is in jail, you can stay at the apartment until 28 then get out of there and hide from that guy.

This is all way the hell easier said than done, I realize that, this is free advice so it is only worth so much if you were talking to a social worker that handles battered woman maybe they could guide you better. You take care of yourself, and hang in there I hope it gets better, and this too shall pass!

You know what the cops said tonight? That I'm the one at fault! Ugh! They said next time they get called I'm going to jail. how fair is that?

 

[Soulwings]

A-M I'm really sorry for all that you are going through right now. It's got to be really, really rough. Why did the police say that? How could they say that?!

Let us know how the testing goes. Praying that things work out for you, whether pregnant or not. God's will is the best one out there. Cliché-ish but true, I'm sure.

The 28th is coming up... less than 10 days now. You can make it til then.

...

Gerry, how're you doing??

...

Laura, good to hear from you. Glad that the test turned out negative!! That is wonderful news. How are you handling healing up? still taking it easy like you're supposed to?

...

Lynne, I'm sorry about the Rubbishy night. (I get that way too, but I'll write about that in a bit.) I don't think that you are wasting your talents as long as you are using them. If you just let them sit by the wayside, telling yourself, "Oh, they don't matter, I'm not any good at them anyway," then that would be different. But if you are actively writing poetry, painting, writing songs, playing the piano, singing - then you are not wasting your talents. At least, that's my $0.02.

You'll be going to grad school, though, right? So you will be moving forward in life... and sometimes we all need jobs like yours, where no higher ed is needed, just to see where our education can take us later in life. And plus, you've got to admit, it's a break from the textbooks. I'm looking forward (believe it or not) to just getting a job that has nothing to do with psychology, for a few years, just to build up money and work experience. It doesn't have to be high paying, because Jarrod is the breadwinner, really, but a little extra cash would be a nice thing. Music lessons fulltime, pet store, bookstore, Hot Topic (not really, I don't think), library, pharmacy... there are several places where I could look for a job. And of course, I may be offered one after I graduate at the place I intern this next summer. Who knows.

Anyway. That was a spiel, I'm sorry. I hope what I said made sense, though.

...

I'm not doing great. Not highly psychotic now but very low. Last night was the first night crash I have had in quite awhile, and it sucked. I get upset, frustrated, exhausted, depressed - everything negative - and don't want to/can't do much other than sit and "mope," according to Jarrod. He gets stressed when I get night crashes, and this is the first time it's happened since we got married. Now it's something for him to look forward to every night... heh. Instead of our giggly playful sometimes serious times, now it's probably going to be usually depressed, angsty, and frustrated times - frustrated on both parts, because he can't help me feel much better.



But anyway. That was last night. And I found out that I scored a 74% on my last psych exam, thanks to all of the outside crap that's been coming in by the bucketload... psychoses mostly. That is not like me... thank God I have 24.5 extra credit points I can hand in. I still have a chance of getting an A in the class........ *crosses fingers* If I don't, it will be the first class in my major that I won't have gotten an A in.

I'm reading this really fascinating book on eating disorders called Gaining. It talks about how ED symptoms really come back when "recovered" ED'd people are under a lot of stress. It's really funny, because I thought that that was just me... I mean, I knew that it wasn't, but just hearing it from someone else (who has a lot of stories to back up that argument) is really cool. Just thought I'd share that.

Really not much else going on. I have some homework to do today but nothing huge, thankfully - so I can just rest and relax. I cancelled my N appt (supposed to be this morning) due to financial reasons (and due to me simply not wanting to go) - rescheduled for another two weeks from now.

s to all. ♥

 

[JesusFreak2008]

I hate hate hate doctors!

They gave me the pregnancy test, it came back positive, they drew blood to make sure 100% and those results come in on monday, the doc referred me to an obgyn and then also prescribed me prenatal vitamins

and worst of all..I DONT WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS!!!


​

 

[BlessedMommy05]

Hello Everyone

Good day and hope some of y'all are doing ok, if not prayers for that...

Today is going well.. I was up early (7:00 am) and had a gyn appt at 9 am so off I went after a good hot shower, and doing some lady things the Dr asked me if I gottena referal for a surgon to talk about the fibroids and I said no, cuz they dont bug me now like they did a few weeks ago, so she goes well lets be sure we're all on the same page so now I got a surgon consult to deal with ahh! Never ends does it!? O well thats ok, just a consult so not a big deal as of yet!... Plus I told her we'll do a 6months check up and mamogram then do them yearly to be sure all is well from there.. So she seemed good on that but still its like oy!!!

Then I went to drop off my aid at my audiologist then stopepd at Walgreens on the way home to pick up J's allery/cold meds in case he has a stuffy nose and cant sleep due to it..

So I'm home for alil while till I go back out and to pick up some detergent for laundry I got it all set and forgot I needed laundry stuff, oy! So Hubbie is all dont wash this or that, its still clean and I said well dont leave it on the floor! Or I'll end up washing it!!! Men!

So I'm chilling thinking of making a sandwhich b4 I head out the door..


's and for everyone...

Laura