[open] arguments?

[plum]

Shalom y'all.
I hope this isn't beating any stray dead horses... but I am curious. This is a private poll.

How often do you argue with your spouse?

 

[KillerV]

well, we have disagreements probably once a week..nothing major just stupid stuff. We will have a heated argument ...gosh...I think maybe once or twice a year.

 

[MikeK]

I get in moods where I kinda like to argue. Gotta work on that.

 

[Darkhorse]

Never - not bragging, just the facts...

 

[Rebekka]

Rarely, if ever.

We get a bit snappy at each other for 5 minutes or so about once a month, I think. And we have a yearly fight that lasts about an hour, sometimes two hours. We had ours in March this year so we're safe for 2007. No, honestly - we have on average one fight a year (or less), or an argument, whatever you want to call it. But we're no saints - we do have our short grumpy moments, and once a month is probably a good guess.

 

[heatherq17]

maybe once a week. Nothing major though.

 

[HeatherJay]

Every couple of days or so we have minor arguments. We have biggies every couple of months or so. We have "cordial" differences of opinion probably everyday, lol.

 

[felinity]

I answered "rarely, if ever." We... well, it's sort of hard to explain. We do this silly fake arguing thing that sometimes makes me grumpy even though we weren't arguing in the first place. It'll go like this:

Me: Vastly outlandish and clearly untrue statement.
Him: Nuh uh!
Me: Uh huh!
Him: You are!
Me: Nuh uh!

And so forth. But that's not really arguing. We do disagree with fair frequency, though.

 

[rainygirl]

An actual argument...maybe once a month....

 

[rainbowpromises]

I chose "rarely if ever" but when we do they are doozies. Last big one was a couple of years ago.

Now this is where the problem lies. We don't clear the air enough so when we do we have to go all out. Before I was living for the Lord I ended up seeing a lawyer more than once.

I am happy to say that we bought a van just three weeks ago and this time both our names are on the ownership because we are in it together. Last time it was to prevent problems in the event of a divorce.

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

deleted

 

[Amélie Unbound]

We're very compatible and get along pretty well, but so far we've argued about once or twice a year. Nothing really major though. The most major argument was over an in-law issue.

We're pretty good at compromising and we get over things quickly, so we've never had an argument that was truly threatening to our relationship.

 

[DaffodillysDad]

We get on each other's nerves like most couples, but we rarely argue. She's not a fighter and most of the time I'm not dumb enough to argue with myself. Our last real argument was 3 years ago, over an issue with our daughter. It was short and sweet and we both felt rotten afterwards.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

When we argue they are big and thank goodness they only happen once or twice a year if that.

 

[gracepaints]

We fought (more misunderstandings than arguements) maybe twice the whole time we've been together. Once while dating and once our first year of marriage.

 

[bluebug83]

Our arguments tend to happen in phases. Every couple of months, we'll have about a week or so where we'll have a few smaller arguments close together, and sometimes one bigger one (where it takes more than a day to resolve the issue; that only happens two or three times a year). I think what happens is that we argue about one thing, which exposes our argumentative sides, and then we disagree on something else a short while later, and we still feel tense so it turns into something bigger than it should be. So one argument seems to breed others, and after a week or so that argumentative tendency dies off and doesn't show up again for another couple of months.

I guess that makes us a little more "volatile" than most of the others on this board. But the amazing thing is that in spite of it, I have an incredibly happy marriage that I have never once come close to regretting. In a way, I think arguing can be a good thing for a relationship, because it gives you a chance to discuss things that bother you and work through them. I once read that the happiness of a marriage doesn't depend on how often you argue, but that you have at least four good things for every bad. We definitely air the bad when it happens, but the good outnumbers the bad about 2,000 to 1

 

[SabrinaFair]

I voted rarely, but early in our marriage we did argue more often- we had poor communication, resolution, and forgiveness skills, but with some work we were able to develop healthier ones. We also learned to grow more fruit of the Spirit, focus on our own individual growth, and love each other closer to God's design, and that has really helped a lot too.

 

[Cordy]

Very rarely. When we have a difference of opinion, it often actually provides an opportunity for stimulating conversation, and encourages us to reason together and seek the Truth and direction. We debate issues with each other, but it is not personal. We often do so while holding hands, cuddling, etc. It is not a “fighty” atmosphere.

 

[WriterMom]

My husband and I "argue" every few days or so. But we rarely get into a REAL fight.

An arguement between us is sometimes fun....we kind of like to debate each other alot. Most times we get tickled with each other....he says he can't win against me.

 

[JonniesGirl]

Very rarely. When we have a difference of opinion, it often actually provides an opportunity for stimulating conversation, and encourages us to reason together and seek the Truth and direction. We debate issues with each other, but it not personal. We often do so while holding hands, cuddling, etc. It is not a “fighty” atmosphere.

We're the same. We're just not "fighty" people. We like things peaceful & happy, so we do what we can to make each other as happy as we can. Only rarely do we have a disagreement. Most of our disagreements are as a result of a topical discussion, so it's all pretty friendly anyway. Lots of cuddles & hand-holding involved.