Online dating

[Ediala]

I think taking the time you need to take to get to know someone varies by how often you date, how much time on the date, and what variety of dating experiences you engage in. If it's always the same picture, there's only one view. I'd take it at the speed that is comfortable, and listen to yourself if you have red flags.

Someone wants to take care of someone when you're just starting to date, I have to agree, seems a bit concerning.

 

[Messy]

My mom does not want me to date older guys because my sister does and they are more like sugar daddies then real boyfriends. He lives in a different state but not too far away. he was married and his wife cheated on him so he is divorced now. we have not done anything physical. He believes in getting married before all of that. He has come clean from all background checks. I do not think he is moving to fast at all. He is waiting for me to move. I have not seen him alone at all. Always with friends or double dating. He is an architect. His best friend is his sister. I am only concerned about my mother being concerned not so much about him. He has the some of the same beliefs in God as I do. He goes a bible believing Church and he teaches Sunday school. My only concern is his age. I have had bad luck in dating guys my age they only want one thing. I know that not all are like that but it seems that I found a worm in every apple I have ever had so to speak. So I am cautious but want to see if maybe the age will help any in finding a decent guy. So I am just trying to keep my mom from worrying.

Sounds good, but just take it slow and get to know him. Find out how he thinks about raising kids and how he gets along with your kid. If you're for instance easy and he's very straight in raising a kid that can cause a lot of trouble. Older men that want a younger woman can indeed be controlling, but I don't know him.

 

[lilnicciebaby]

thanks for all the advice from everyone I will keep that all in mind as I move forward.

 

[ImperatorWall]

Cynicism abounds.

Relationship advice from a bunch of young singles is about as useful as driving advice from a twelve year old.

People are just as dishonest and deceitful in real life as they are online. You can spend your entire life with someone, and still never truly know them. It is one thing to prefer not to meet people online, but to be biased against it is completely illogical.

I say go for it, just don't do anything stupid.

 

[Deidre32]

It isn't cynicism. You don't start discussing a future with someone you hardly know. The reason that is concerning is because it is a line often used to lure women in to thinking the person is sincere. Truth is, anyone who starts discussing a future when you hardly know someone is disingenuous to me, and kind of creepy.

But hey. That's just me.

 

[ImperatorWall]

It isn't cynicism. You don't start discussing a future with someone you hardly know. The reason that is concerning is because it is a line often used to lure women in to thinking the person is sincere. Truth is, anyone who starts discussing a future when you hardly know someone is disingenuous to me, and kind of creepy.

But hey. That's just me.

That is just you.

There is no formula for how a relationship is supposed to develop. I don't see anything odd with a man in his mid-forties discussing a future honestly and up-front. His priorities are going to be different than say a twenty five year old right out of college.

Go into everything with eyes wide open, but don't be governed by fear and cynicism.

 

[Deidre32]

So you talk about a future with someone you barely know? When you're not even in a relationship? Lol

I dunno. A little strange in my book to tell someone you hardly know that you see a future with him/her.

Because if the person says stuff like that, that quickly...he doesn't mean it. But, I guess that is just cynicism. lol

I don't want to see her get hurt and she has a child. That's why I feel the way I do.

 

[ImperatorWall]

So you talk about a future with someone you barely know? When you're not even in a relationship? Lol

I dunno. A little strange in my book to tell someone you hardly know that you see a future with him/her.

Because if the person says stuff like that, that quickly...he doesn't mean it. But, I guess that is just cynicism. lol

I don't want to see her get hurt and she has a child. That's why I feel the way I do.

Getting hurt is a part of life. I don't want her to just not get hurt.

I want her to find joy and happiness.

 

[nick garai]

An older man has much different priorities than a younger man does. He may be much more quick to want to pursue a relationship than younger guy might be, That is not a bad thing. That is just maturity of the older man.

It is always wise to be cautious on online dating. That is how I met my ex-wife was online dating and she was a gold digger looking for a guy to take her away from her father and who could afford her.

 

[Deidre32]

Getting hurt is a part of life. I don't want her to just not get hurt.

I want her to find joy and happiness.

I want that too. I just have a bad feeling. We may disagree, but I can't help how I feel. It's beyond an Internet thing or his age. His age doesn't bother me. It's moving too fast. I can't help my gut feeling.

I am just a stranger on the net and my opinion is only that, an opinion. It is the OP's life, and her decision.

 

[lilnicciebaby]

I can see where everyone is coming from and value all of your opinions. I did not want to start a war of the words with anyone. I just wanted advice from people removed from the situation. That is all. I will take things slow and I want a good solid relationship before I introduce him to my daughter, if I ever do. I will not know till I get there. I just know my friends are on board with everything, my sister is all for it which means little and I just want to ease my mother's concerns. Thanks for all the advice and I will keep you all posted.