Ongoing Sexual Issues

[ChristIsSovereign]

Before I became a genuine Christian, my sexual appetite was absolutely wanton. It drove me to the point that I almost became a sex offender but God cut me short of that because He gave me another chance because He loves me.

Yet I still lust a lot. I lust especially at night and I pound my forehead into the wall (metaphorically) because, albeit less intense, the struggle with pornography lingers. Thank the LORD that my sexual conversations of the past are no more though.

The way I feel after consuming like 2 minutes of pornography is like someone punched me in the gut spiritually and I loathe my sinful behavior. I am able to manage the lust throughout the entire day but usually starting about midnight, I become EASY to trigger. A simple advertisement of a woman wearing anything less than full clothing and I end up using pornography a minute later, and then two minutes after that, I'm upstairs in my bedroom groaning in regret. It's terrible and it's injuring my newfound walk in Christ greatly. I feel ashamed merely touching my Bible after all of that. It's like... why would I be forgiven of addicting sin? Grr... this flesh is a gripe to deal with, isn't it...

Another thing is that I believe I am a literal 'sexoholic' because any sexual trigger will drive my lust to the point of madness and I am almost powerless to resist it. It feels like being a drunkard but instead of alcohol, it's sexual behavior, all done to myself. Feels like my future will be stained by that and I will be unable to have a healthy sexual life with my future spouse if I have one, that is.

Need much support. I'm despairing over this as we speak.

 

[Alistair_Wonderland]

I fit makes you feel any better, I feel the same way. I am twenty-eight years old, and I have never even been kissed by a girl or been on a date. I'm not unattractive, I just have been separated from society due to a number of factors. So let me tell you, temptation is practically a daily struggle for me. I install internet filters and give my friends the codes so I won't be tempted to turn them off, but I somehow manage to find a way to find things that aren't blocked. Still, filters are a good idea to start with, and have kept me from a number of temptations. Just be careful which ones you get. Some of them are lousy at blocking stuff.

Another way to deal with this is to meet your problems head-on. Study as much as you can about sex ans sexual activities from a Christian perspective. There are a lot of sites which deal with dispelling the lies that 'sex and desire are dirty' without taking the worldly view that 'whatever feels good is good'. God made sex, he made your body, and he made the female body, and he even made our private parts, and he declared them 'very good'. It is no sin to notice that a woman is attractive. That is attraction, and God made it.
Lust, however, is defined as 'sexual desire without feelings of love', which removes most of the beauty of sexuality. Lust is a desire for more than what is given you, something I can say from personal experience is all you will find in porn. If you can learn to embrace Godly sexuality, and His plan for you and your body, then it makes it easier to resist temptation, because you will see how the world has perverted something God intended to be beautiful.
God didn't make you to be sexless before marriage, and suddenly become sexual once you're married. He was once human, too. So don't think he wasn't tempted. He knows how hard it is. But I also believe that he has provided us with outlets to avoid temptation. So pray and ask God not to make you sexless, but to give you an outlet for your God-given sexuality that will please Him.
I can't give any personal recommendations for outlets, partially because they are very controversial, and partly because what may work for me may be a stumbling block for others, but suffice to say, I have done a lot of praying on the subject, and I feel at peace with my methods. But I don't need to mention them. Just ask God, and he will bring you the peace you need.

Also, if you know you are most tempted at a certain time, then maybe you can learn to place boundaries down. For me, I have found that I really have to avoid the Internet altogether when I'm tempted.

Finally, don't forget that God dealt with your problems and forgave you thousands of years ago. When he died on the Cross, He atoned for every sin, past, resent, and future. The moment you apologize, He's up in Heaven saying "Porn? What porn? I already washed that away long ago."
Take it from somebody who has often struggled with false guilt, if you are feeling guilt after taking something to Jesus, it's just Satan trying to tear you down. Don't let him.

 

[blogmehameha]

Thanks for sharing, but don't despair. I'm sure things seem tough now, but you can do it! I believe in you and I know God will never leave you. Have you sought help for sex/porn addiction yet? That would be a great place to start. If you need someone to chat with, let me know. Definitely praying for you.