Well it seems to me that people believe being born again may not be a very clear phenomena both in terms of time of occurrence or description.
Does it happen at baptism? Baptism seems to give people access both to communication from God and ability to understand it. Jesus stated that his teachings would be selfexplanatory to his followers whilst outsider would only hear parables, analogies. However, even those who drink from the Rock do not necessarily agree with the teachings, and God was displeased and swore they would not enter His rest.
Baptism can be understood to be a certification of righteousness, acknowledgement that the person has given up dependence on the world and turned to dependence on God. It's possible the latter may be tentative, but the acknowledgement is still given.
Infant baptism may have a different significance. The under twenties who accompanied the adults to turn away from Egypt and follow Moses never made a choice. However, because of believing parents, they had the advantage of having an easier task when they in turn were eventually asked to choose. In other words infant baptism signified nothing. Infants born to believing parents only enjoy the advantage of growing up in an environment where the dependence on the world was already ruled out. When asked to leave whatever was left of that dependence, the task was easier.
The training from God starts at the point of making that choice.
It takes the form of deprivation of necessities, and the resolve to view the deprivation as a process to accentuate the setting up of priorities. Jesus fasted in the desert, Israel had the fast imposed on her. Jesus never complained. Israel did. Jesus resisted the temptation to turn rocks into bread, Israel demanded God work miracles like He did in Egypt. God did work miracles. However, as mentioned, it did not have the necessary effect on some of those who witnessed those miracles, although it was not the fault of the miracles themselves. Most of the Israelites were overcome by their fear of dying at having left dependence on the world.
He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors
had known, to teach you that man does not live on
bread alone but on every word that process as from the mouth of the Lord. Deut 8:3
The entire process had the following purpose:
It revealed to God Israel's improvement in loyalty, or lack there of, just as Abraham's response to God's command to sacrifice Isaac revealed the improvement in his loyalty.
That humbling, training, was required, because only loyalty could get them into the Promised Land, could get them part the giants.
So we can say that being born again is the change that occurs in a person when he realises that the only trustworthy Entity is God. We see the characteristic in Joshua and Caleb.
Baptism does not initiate justification, acknowledgement for being righteous. It acknowledged willingness to listen to God, drink from the Rock. Faith, loyalty initiates justification. Being born again, switching loyalty, meta noia, change of mindset, initiates justification.
3Jesus replied to him, "Truly, I tell you emphatically, unless a person
is
born from
above he cannot see the kingdom of God." John 3
Sanctification, freshening up those who have already bathed, is the form of the demands the King makes on those He has enlisted as His subjects. The vassal pledges loyalty to the sovereign, swearing to serve Him faithfully. The King requires even service to the extent of risk to life, when the need arises.
5Jesus answered, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. John 3
Entire sanctification occurs when one is willing to lay down their lives. It's not necessary to be rid of all your blemishes. Having the favour of the King, His grace, is sufficient.
9But he said to me, "
My grace is
sufficient for you, for
my power is made perfect
in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about
my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 12