Once a SIer, always a SIer?

[Soulwings]

Mitiog. Someday the sun will peek through those dark clouds, someday we'll all be urge-free. And until then, all we can keep doing is pushing forward. You may not see it, but you ARE pushing forward, by simply staying self-injury free. Free. You're free. The thoughts are still there, but you have the strength to fight them off. You're releasing the chains that bind you, to be poetic about it. And I admire you for that, because going 710 days is amazing, especially when it has been so hard at times, and you've not given up. Wow. *more hugs since I've used up the smileys*

 

[Gwen'sMom]

The first time I ever cut was in high school back in 1986. Then 20 years later I started up again. Hopefully I will get over it and it won't happen for another 20 years.

 

[Im-revived]

Hi Gwens Mom,

Just a suggestion Love, as youve done excellant, did something happen that brought back an unresolved hurtful issue?

Im-revived

The first time I ever cut was in high school back in 1986. Then 20 years later I started up again. Hopefully I will get over it and it won't happen for another 20 years.

 

[mitiog]

Thanks Soulwings. I needed the encouragement and I needed a hug!

Bless you,

mitiog

 

[matthew241006]

Once you've become an SIer, are you always going to be one? I don't mean in action necessarily - but are the thoughts and impulses always going to be there? Are you always going to be able to be triggered by certain songs or pictures or journal entries (or whatever else)? Is stress always going to cause you to want to revert back to self injury?

I would be interested to have your thoughts - and experiences - on this.

As for me personally - well, I'll post later.

I think its different for everyone.
Even after 25 years I still do it, albeit much less often.
Most of the time I'm fine, but sometimes I just get so stressed...
I used to have a punchbag. So I'd go hit that instead.

 

[mahalia]

yep i've got a punching bag too!! i love it, it's kewl.

sorry, off-topic...

 

[HolyOne87]

i guess it depends on the person. For me, the impulses are still there. Its just hard to get rid of them sometimes(especially when things are SUPER difficult).
I am sure it takes time for these impulses to go away. For some, it might go away pretty quickly..while with others, it takes longer. For me, it will take pretty long because I have been an SIer for about 5 years.
I do have faith in myself that I can overcome. and I have faith in others as well. I know someone posted on here a success story that they got over so much(urges and stuff). I think it took them awhile but they eventually started not allowing their urges to take over their mind.
I have faith in everyone.

i shall pray for everyone.

+God Bless+

 

[Soulwings]

Punching bags do sound like a good idea. I enjoy punching/kicking - I took a little bit of karate and it really helped with my stress levels - so maybe I should look into that.

Mitiog. You're welcome, gorgeous. Glad I could be of some help.

 

[LilRomanianChristFollower]

Hey Soulwings, What's ED? Never heard of it. Is it the same as S.I.?

 

[LilRomanianChristFollower]

Soulwings definitely has a point there. I do something similar. I exercise to relieve the tension, since excess stress is an S.I. trigger for me. do something physically strenous (but not overtiring) that you enjoy. It will make both your body and your mind feel better.

 

[beckybooiloveu]

ED stands for Eating Disorder

 

[warrrior4him007]

not always you dont have to always be a si if you dont want to be i know i was a si er lol there are things you can do like self sooth and let go and let god

 

[Arianna]

i think i will always be an SIer.... it doesn't seem to be going away.

 

[flying_kiwifruit]

I think it will always be a part of me and something I will always maybe be a little weaker to than you average blog on the street. but also one day the urges will die down and they will become easier to beat.

Nat

 

[trying2survive09]

I think it's important to remember what you went through. But I don't think it's healthy to keep identifying yourself with SI. To say that you will always be an SIer isn't letting God complete the healing He has in store in for you. Plus, it's letting SI continue to lead your life. Will you have urges? I don't know. I've been SI free for 1 year and almost 5 months, but that doesnt' mean I haven't thought about it in that time. For me, everytime I've been able the urge to SI, the next attack becomes less and less. I have faith that someday the urge won't come at all because Jesus will have completely finished the healing that He started in me (obviously through the help of others). Those are just my thoughts on the matter...don't yell at me!

 

[mariachigirl]

Here are my thoughts on this conversation:

More important than identifying ourselves as an SI'er,
it's important to recognize that one thing we all seem to have in common is our issues with dealing with our emotions and our stress. God has a better way than SI (obviously)

God is good. It is in His will to live a live where he's carrying our burdens for us. I believe that it's in His will to break away from this self-destructive pattern of SI. For some of us it's easier than for others...

 

[LilRomanianChristFollower]

I've been free of cutting for over 2 months. Some of it has been really a struggle not to. But I don't think God wants the struggle to be a "just barely hanging on for dear life" kind of thing. God wants us to have true victory. It doesn't mean we will never be tempted. Oftentimes Satan tries to tempt us many times before he realizes that he isn't going to win the battle. I encourage any S.I. to go into God's presence and worship him with everything you got. Stand on His promises and focus on him instead of dwelling on the temptation. Yes, temptation sometimes seems more real to us than anything, but our God is greater and stronger than any temptation we face.

 

[LilRomanianChristFollower]

"His mercies are new every morning"

 

[Soulwings]

I believe that it's in His will that we break away from SI as well, but oftentimes what His will demands is not something that we can achieve, or at least achieve immediately. Sure, we can strive for it and do our best, but our best isn't necessarily going to mean that we are SI free. It's been 342 days since I've cut, but I've SI'd some since my last cut. So... I don't know. It always comes up when I'm stressed, and it's the only thing that I've found that immediately relieves the tension that I feel. I've tried tons of other things, but sometimes I just get that damn craving for pain. If that makes any sense?? I wish it would go away, I'm trying to make it go away, but it's not. It's been almost a year and I'm still struggling with it almost as much as I was at 3 months SI free.



It's funny that this thread was revived, though. I'd forgotten that I'd even posted it!!