Oldest Narrative Carving Found

[Warden_of_the_Storm]

Honestly, I'm doing everyone a favour by censoring the actual title because it's a doozey.

Man holding p**is and flanked by leopards is world's oldest narrative carving​

An 11,000-year-old rock-cut relief in southeastern Turkey featuring menacing animals and two men, one of whom is holding his genitalia, is the oldest narrative scene on record, a new study suggests.


Archaeologists discovered the curious carvings on built-in benches within a Neolithic (or New Stone Age) building in the Urfa region. Measuring roughly 2.5 to 3 feet (0.7 to 0.9 meter) tall and 12 feet (3.7 m) long, the newly discovered rock-cut relief showcases two leopards, a bull and the two men — one grasping his phallus and the other holding a rattle or snake.

Whoever carved the wild creatures accentuated their dangerous, pointy parts — the leopards' teeth and the bulls' horns. But exactly what this narrative was meant to convey is lost to time, according to the study, which was published Thursday (Dec. 8) in the journal Antiquity(opens in new tab).

 

[AV1611VET]

But exactly what this narrative was meant to convey is lost to time,

It's a man taking a leak in the wild.

 

[Warden_of_the_Storm]

It's a man taking a leak in the wild.

Or... no, I won't say. It's incredibly crass and against forum rules.

 

[AV1611VET]

Or... no, I won't say. It's incredibly crass and against forum rules.

Well it's sad that a guy can't go out and relieve himself without ending up plastered all over the Internet some four thousand years later! :/

 

[AV1611VET]

Question:

Suppose they found a bas-relief of a family with a T. Rex as a pet.

Would they date the town 66,000,000 BC? or 2300 BC?

 

[Ophiolite]

Question:

Suppose they found a bas-relief of a family with a T. Rex as a pet.

Would they date the town 66,000,000 BC? or 2300 BC?

Its Hanna-Barbera signature would lead to it being dated as a late 20th century fictional work.

 

[AV1611VET]

Its Hanna-Barbera signature would lead to it being dated as a late 20th century fictional work.

No True Scotsman -- got it.