Old Friend...

[Blockhead]

Hey all, I'm new around here, so I hope this is a good place to post this. I'm looking for some advice. I was very good friends with a guy for about 6 years (up till about junior year). We always hung out, and he would spend the night a lot. He was never a Christian, although, I usually didn't let him drag me down. I usually stuck with my Christian beliefs and he didn't pose a threat to me. He and I got into Christianity at times, but not a lot. I tried to live right around him; hoping I would "rub off."

Anways, I'm a senior this year and I've been going college full time, so I haven't been at high school. Well, him and I have grown apart. He works a lot and I've been more involved in my church. I've always tried to help out, but I'm around there a lot anymore and I've been going to a lot of events and making new friends. Well, this old friend just instant messaged me last night. It was great to hear from him. I started talking to him about how his life is going and what he's going to be doing about college and eventually if he was dating. Well, he was telling me how he wants to be a rapper and I remember he used to write raps and stuff. He listened to a lot of the profane and vulgar music when we were friends. So I know he's going to try to make it on being vulgar and such.

It was still good to hear from him. I'm just afraid to get too involved. I don't want him to drag me down, but I don't want to quit on him. I want to be a good influence. I found myself not quite supporting him, but complimenting him and then giving advice to him. I felt great when I was helping him, but I don't want to see him go in this direction. Another reason I'm afraid to get involved is because I could easily start hanging out with him again. As I said, I new friends from church events, but all of them are at least 45 minutes away and I don't drive (yeah, I'm 18 and I don't drive, I'm still waiting for God to give me the okay, I feel needed else where). I have no friends around where I live. I never made many friends. So I don't want to start hanging around him just because I have nobody else to go to. But I don't want to turn my back on him.

I hope this is some what clear. As I said, I don't want to be dragged down, because he has began vulgar language and will probably use it to further his dream career. I don't want to just give him the cold shoulder, either. He was a good friend. He never turned his back on me, as some Christians have. Any help would be appreciated, like verses, experiences, or especially prayers for wisdom and guidance.

Thanks in advance people. God bless!

 

[Susan]

Welcome to the forum, Blockhead. -^.^-

I don't know if I can advise you much on your situation, but I hope some people can help you.

 

[paulewog]

Make sure HE doesn't rub off on YOU...

If you feel your friendship is good enough to talk to him about his language and stuff... better yet, the gospel, since nothing will change if his heart doesn't change... then that would be a really good thing to do.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Man, we grow apart.
There's a guy I hung out with 24/7. Good ol' Dave. I mean you never saw us apart. By my senior year, We'd see each other in the hallways, or...umm...in detention. That's happened to a lot of friends.

Pray for him. That's probably th ebest thing you can do. It's easy to give ourselves too much credit. I'm bad about thinking "I" need to be the one to make someone change. But that's God's department. Prayer I have found is more effective than I could ever be.

 

[hotknikkels]

Welcome to the forum!!! And again, welcome!!!

 

[the outlaw]

ditto Mr. Cheese...

I had a really good friend named Scott. We both came to know God at about the same time. He was my accountability and I was his. When he went off to school, my relationship with God really came under fire. It didn't disappear but it might as well have. Scott would come back for Christmas and he would be talking about how he was really getting involved in his new church and some missionary work...etc. Well, this actually convicted me in so many ways and it led to utter misery in my own life until I got my relationship with God back on track. It'd be great if that was where the story ended but... The last time I talked to Scott, he had pretty much turned his back on God. He told me he had slipped back into drug use and alcohol...I only got to see him for a few minutes then but I didn't feel I offered him the right advice when I spoke to him. I haven't talked to him since and he has changed his email(I sent him a lengthy one and it was returned).

As for your friend, Blockhead. The only person that can "change" him is Christ. If it's through the Christ he sees in you, then so be it. I still have friends that aren't Christians...although a lot of them did abandon me when they were being convicted just by being around me. (Not my fault...They weren't rejecting me, they were rejecting Christ who lives in me). The fine line you have to be able to walk is being a friend but not compromising the standards you have chosen to adhere to. It's hard and sometimes I screw up pretty bad when it comes to it. But there are instances where the right thing to do is crystal clear. One of my friends wanted me to go to a show(concert tour). He told me who was playing and I knew just by him naming the band, there would be a substantial amount of drug use/parties/etc. going on and he would want to be going to them and partaking in the "festivities". My exact words...
"Hmmm....Excessive drug use, excessive alcohol consumption, a band that I don't really care to much for anyway...don't think I'm gonna be able to make that one..."
My advice is for you to be the person you are in Christ. As for what to tell him as it relates to rap music and the profanity he has to use...I've often said music is the ultimate expression of the soul. David was the psalmist and he's got an entire book in the Bible. I can't listen to rap music anymore for the simple fact that it doesn't agree with my spirit. (I still have some Christian rap...Priesthood, Pigeon John, LA Symph, DC Talk) But the rap coming from Ludacris, Eminem and others is against the same thing I'm trying to stand for. I know it would be a tough situation if my best friend decided he was going to start a career that involved a compromise of the very beliefs we based our lives on. I'll be praying for you and your friend...Hope this is of some help

 

[Blockhead]

Thanks for the welcoming and the prayers. I've talked to my pastor a little bit and he said basically the same thing. I will just live my life as a Christian and let my actions speak for themselves. Of course, if the opportunity arises, I will share my faith with him. He knows I'm a Christian, so it won't be a big surprise for him to hear it.
Thanks for the support. It's great to know Christians will unite to help those they don't even know. Thank you.

 

[Speedpilot122]

I'm new myself, Block. You know, it sounds like you're pretty strong in your faith; I guess my advice would be to keep praying for him and "walk the walk" so that he can see Christ in your life. I think it'll also help if you're able to surround yourself with a few good Christian friends if you can, to help you stay strong, and to fellowship with. In any case, I'll pray for you, man!