okay.

[TotallyDependingOnJesus]

Caty, I know that I have thoughts sometimes also and wonder if I said it out loud too. Sometimes it just feels so loud in my head, I think, did that just come out of my mouth? So you're not alone. I guess I am hoping that one of my friends would ask me about it if I did say something strange out loud.

 

[Caty]

yeah, thats what i think is that maybe they will say something if i say it outloud? I dnt know though, it just scares me really bad that i may do it.

 

[Caty]

this is really bothering me, bc if i dont talk my friends think im mad, but if i do im afraid of saying something bad. today when i was in the lunch room i had a bad thought and i got scared i might have said it, so i looked around and i saw a girl looking at me, and see that really scares me cause now i feel like i may never know if i said it or not. this is happening alot lately.

 

[frets2005]

Caty,
May the Lord Christ Bless you and may you realize that you are held tenderly in His hand. I have been sufferering from OCD for about 44 years now, and I feel your pain. Many times my prayers have been simply "Jesus hold me" or "I believe, help me overcome my unbelief" I have just stumbled onto this site, and I praise God for it. May you find rest my sister in Jesus' name.

 

[annrobert]

Caty,
I know how it feels wondering what people think and if they think you are strange or something.I have struggled with that lots.
I hope you can relax some , just be yourself or try to remind yourself that you are okay just the way you are.
You are a child of the King of Kings.
There is nothing wrong with you , and if they think it let them, once they realize that you accept yourself ,
even if they think you strange they seem to be accepting,
because even though you may not realize it,
they place much value on what you think.
So when they see you accept yourself and because they value your opinion , then you must be valuable and acceptable.
However what they think is not as important as what God thinks.And God knows how very special and precious you are.
So if they have a problem with you , then I guess they have a problem , not you.
God has no problem with you.
So you are not strange but even if you thought you were view it as unigue.God made us all unigue and that is a quality.
Talking or not talking is your priviledge.

this is really bothering me, bc if i dont talk my friends think im mad, but if i do im afraid of saying something bad. today when i was in the lunch room i had a bad thought and i got scared i might have said it, so i looked around and i saw a girl looking at me, and see that really scares me cause now i feel like i may never know if i said it or not. this is happening alot lately.

 

[Caty]

no, i mean i had a bad thought about the Holy Spirit and then I got scared I might have said it and I looked around to see if there was any proof and this girl had this weird look on her face and was staring at me. So, I feel like when I have those moments Ill never koe if I said my thoughts or not. I get thsi little things on facebook and its like 'what God wants you to know today" and yesterday mine said to believe something that comes to you and it will be the truth and that I might have been serching for that answer or something like that. and last night I came to realization that if you steal something you steal it, it doesn't matter where you did it, when, how you did it, how little it was or whatever. and then i thought thats the same thigns for blasphemey, i feel like when people read that scrtipture they didnt want to beleive there was a sin that God wouldnt forgive so they have turned it into something its not, that maybe it is what it says it it and thats saying something bad about the HOly sPirit, in thought or whatever and I know Im guilty, bc although I know some were brought on by anxiety, some were anger, confusions and purposely.

 

[Caty]

...and that the other scriptures dont matter when it comes to that one bc infornt of that one it clearly says that ALL others but that one will be forgiven, and that is speaking any bad word about the Holy Spirit. I'm giving up because I have came to the realitzation that im gulity and that I really dont ahve any hope. i dont really undertand why God would let me suffer if i couldnt be forgiven but I guesss that also my fault too.

 

[Caty]

I cant get these scary images out of my head, im so afraid of Hell, but everything I read now. its like I dont get the hope that maybe I might not have committed that sin and all of this 'proof' that pastors offer is just man made and i dont see the biblical proof. i hate myself, i mean if I had really came to God and He knew this was gonna happen why didnt He let me die or soemthing before it happen? im so scared guys.

 

[frets2005]

I have been where you are, believe me you are not alone, I have been terrified that I have committed the unpardonable sin. But Jesus knows ALL things, he knows your heart, he is not a machine, that you have to put all the right codes in then He loves you, if you get one wrong, you're toast. That's not how He is, He totally understands what you are going through, He is a personal God, if you look at the context of when Jesus said this, he was facing people that just attributed His power to Satan, they did not believe in Him, they hated him, they couldn't stand him. And do you think that they trembled once when He warned them, I don't think so, they probably scoffed and walked away, they didn't believe in Him. You do, He knows your heart, he knows your pain, and He has promised never to leave you or forsake you, and he won't break a bruised reed, or blow out a smoldering candle. That means there's hope for you. Are you on any medication? I hope that you are, because this can definitely help. I used to think that this was a spiritual problem, till I checked myself into a hospital, and the Christian psychiatrist said, after hearing my problem "Oh that's OCD, we can take care of that, no problem" There is hope, don't give up.
"For He knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust"
Psalm 103:14

 

[Caty]

sometimes i even play like mind games (not willfully though) its like all things that could be close to calling Him that bad name will come into my head, and ill even say cuss words or anything in my head to sidetrack my thoughts and ill be trying to aviod thinking a bad thought but i normally end up saying something bad in my head. i just hope mine is ocd, my counselor never really said, she just always talked about my anxiety.

 

[annrobert]

no, i mean i had a bad thought about the Holy Spirit and then I got scared I might have said it and I looked around to see if there was any proof and this girl had this weird look on her face and was staring at me. So, I feel like when I have those moments Ill never koe if I said my thoughts or not. I get thsi little things on facebook and its like 'what God wants you to know today" and yesterday mine said to believe something that comes to you and it will be the truth and that I might have been serching for that answer or something like that.

Was it scripture or mans advice?



and last night I came to realization that if you steal something you steal it, it doesn't matter where you did it, when, how you did it, how little it was or whatever.

However a person could be suffering with an affliction that made them think they stole something when they did not.


and then i thought thats the same thigns for blasphemey, i feel like when people read that scrtipture they didnt want to beleive there was a sin that God wouldnt forgive so they have turned it into something its not,


according to the scriptures they kept on speaking out their strong opinion, on purpose and did not fight against it.They were very content about their opinions.

They never repented

That is why they were never forgiven.

Anyone who comes to Jesus will never be cast out.

whosoever will may come.

Those are Jesus words and they never pass away.

The scripture cannot be broken.

whoever comes to Jesus will not be cast out.



that maybe it is what it says it it and thats saying something bad about the HOly sPirit, in thought or whatever and I know Im guilty, bc although I know some were brought on by anxiety, some were anger, confusions and purposely.

that is not your opinion caty.
Just because you have an emotion when ocd thoughts start does not mean you think those things.
I know that you want Jesus
I know you want salvation.
Therefore Jesus will not cast you out.
You like all of us are invited to come.

 

[annrobert]

I cant get these scary images out of my head, im so afraid of Hell, but everything I read now. its like I dont get the hope that maybe I might not have committed that sin and all of this 'proof' that pastors offer is just man made and i dont see the biblical proof. i hate myself, i mean if I had really came to God and He knew this was gonna happen why didnt He let me die or soemthing before it happen? im so scared guys.

We are safe Caty , everyone of us
We believe in Jesus and have come to Jesus
nothing will snatch us from His hand
no OCD fears or doubts
as painful as they are, nothing will snatch us from His hand
OCD caused me such enormous pain
because I loved Jesus and thought He did not want me
religious OCD just causes such intense pain.
Those of us who have suffered with it want nothing more
than to be loved and accepted by Jesus and to love Jesus
and to know we belong to Him
that we are safe with Him
that we can serve Him
that we are going to heaven with Him
that we will not be cast out and thrown in to hell
we know we need forgiveness
we know we need a Saviour
we believe in Jesus
we have come to Jesus
we know that Jesus is the Way and the Truth and the Life
we know we are sinners needing forgiveness
and yet that OCD keeps telling us that is not enough
pouring on the fear
saying you are the exception
salvation is not for you
it is just not true
we are not the exception
Jesus has no exceptions
no favoritism
whosoever will may come
we come because we are a gift to Jesus
we will not be cast out
nothing will snatch us from Jesus hand and we will never perish
Jesus is mighty to save and forgive sins
Jesus is all powerful
Jesus delights in mercy
and that is why Jesus died for us to cleanse us in His own blood
not only that Jesus also wants to provide healing and liberty and give rest and lead us to still waters
and restore our soul.
Jesus loved us so much He provided for so much more than just salvation
to whosoever will

 

[Caty]

my thoughts just dont pop up randomly, now that i know what triggers them, its like when i hear it (whatever triggers them) I start saying that 'the Holy Spirit is good' and 'these thoughts are bad' and stuff like that over and over in my head and then i eventually end up having a bad thought and this causes a lot of anxiety, has anyone else done/do this?

 

[Caty]

& also sometimes it;s like i think about thinking a thought and i do it, and i get so ashamed at myself about why i would do such a thing, but i do it anyways. i dunno, i really think i have committed this sin, i think its possible for someone to have committed this sin and just happen to be obsessive too.

 

[annrobert]

Thats not possible, anyone who wants forgiveness has it because Jesus said,
He that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out.
Those who are not worried and quite satisfied and not want mercy or forgiveness til they die,
those people should be warned.

 

[frets2005]

Probably the reason for your anxiety is the OCD, they usually go hand in hand. I think the problem is that you are trying to stop the thought. I know this is a scary concept, but you don't need to. Because of your OCD, these aren't your thoughts, they are alter-ego thoughts, thoughts that are completely opposite of who you really are. The more you try to stop them, the more they will come, the more you try tonot think them, the more they will come. This is the conundrum of OCD, this is the way it works. I used to have thoughts like, "your going to have a heart attack!!" And my pulse would race, I would get sweaty, (panic attack) and of course think that I was having one. Now, when i have that thought, I think "good, I could use the rest", and it goes away. Now without the proper medication you may not be able to do this. Again medication is very important part of managing this disease.
God Bless
TJ

 

[Caty]

see thats why i dont know if they are me because i feel like i bring them on, because ill say things that go all around it without actually saying it in my head so the anxiety level will go down and then sometimes i accidentally say it or it slips in my head or something. i feel about terrible today, because they have been real bad.

 

[annrobert]

see thats why i dont know if they are me because i feel like i bring them on,

You are not bringing them on Caty, just the confusion and fear makes it feel that way.
You do not want them.
They make you feel real bad.
They are not your opinion.
you want them to stop.


because ill say things that go all around it without actually saying it in my head so the anxiety level will go down and then sometimes i accidentally say it or it slips in my head or something.


This is accidental ,
You want this all to end .
you do not like this.
It causes you pain and fear and distress.
Jesus understands all this Caty.
He is feeling great compassion and tenderness for you.
He has you in His hand and is protecting you.
He loves you so deeply , you cannot begin to comprehend it .
When you begin to grasp more fully how much and how deeply Jesus loves you and protects you, I think it may help the ears levels go down.



i feel about terrible today, because they have been real bad.

My heart goes out to you Caty , so very much.
I know how much it all hurts
the confusion and distress and pain and fear.
I understand it , I have been through it.
I am soory you are suffering like this so much.

love
annrobert

 

[annrobert]

Probably the reason for your anxiety is the OCD, they usually go hand in hand. I think the problem is that you are trying to stop the thought. I know this is a scary concept, but you don't need to. Because of your OCD, these aren't your thoughts, they are alter-ego thoughts, thoughts that are completely opposite of who you really are. The more you try to stop them, the more they will come, the more you try tonot think them, the more they will come. This is the conundrum of OCD, this is the way it works. I used to have thoughts like, "your going to have a heart attack!!" And my pulse would race, I would get sweaty, (panic attack) and of course think that I was having one. Now, when i have that thought, I think "good, I could use the rest", and it goes away. Now without the proper medication you may not be able to do this. Again medication is very important part of managing this disease.
God Bless
TJ

 

[Caty]

ive been not showing as much attention to the thoughts and they are not as bad, but i feel like maybe i have REALLY done it cause i havent been worrying about them or anything...