okay.

[Caty]

Im kinda numb right now to any feeling but doom, i dont know if i want Jesus or God or if I even believe, so many thigns are running throw my mind. im worried. i just really hope i have a chance with God, this is my fav time of the year fall/winter and im usually so happy but im so depressed at how miserable i am. i just want to live a purpose. and be happy and at peace with God and live my life like i use too.

 

[myanchor]

John 10:28,29I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.</SPAN>My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all ; no one can snatch them out of my Father&#8217;s Father&#8217;s hand.

Pretty clear to me, you can't get out of His hand even if you tried, 'cause you are included in the no one. Or nothing created.

 

[Caty]

thanks. at first i thought you typed 'you can get out of his hand at any time' and I freaked out. haha.
but i read it again and yes, it helped.

 

[gracealone]

Caty,
Do you believe that feelings are what always prompts us to do that which is right or do you believe that doing right is what is most important?
You have a desire to live for God, so do exactly that. You need to just totally let go of the desperate search for comfort and reassurance that the OCD is pushing you to get and just walk. Do like Jesus did when "He set His face like a flint to go to Jerusalem." We know that He had no comfort, no peaceful feelings as He walked that road to the cross. We know this because of the scene in the garden of Gethsemane. One thing that my therapist told me to do that really helped me with this idea is to "act as if." Act as if you are saved, act as if you are forgiven, act as if you have peace with God,act as if you are His child. What is the best thing a child can do to show Christ that they love Him?"If you love me, keep my commandments." Obedience is the key.
This is not unlike what we often have to do in our earthly relationships. Sometimes I don't feel loving toward my husband but in obedience to God I act loving toward him and in doing so I actually am loving him and eventually I even feel love for him again. For now, because of the OCD, you have to let go of emotional validation/proof and exercise your will to follow Christ. What other choice do you have? Really... can you think of a better idea?
"And if only the will to walk is there, He is pleased, even with our stumbles." CS Lewis
Stumbling Forward,
Mitzi

Im kinda numb right now to any feeling but doom, i dont know if i want Jesus or God or if I even believe, so many thigns are running throw my mind. im worried. i just really hope i have a chance with God, this is my fav time of the year fall/winter and im usually so happy but im so depressed at how miserable i am. i just want to live a purpose. and be happy and at peace with God and live my life like i use too.

 

[Caty]

its getting to were i question if papers ive turned into my teachers have had bad things written about the Holy Spirit on them or if when im cheering what if i have slipped and yelled something bad about the Holy Spirit. or if when I post things on myspace or soemthing, what if i have put something bad in a comment or when im takling to people and a bad thought happend i think 'oh my gosh did i just say that and i freak out.' im so miserable. has anyone else worried they've done things like this

 

[Liftyourhands7]

its getting to were i question if papers ive turned into my teachers have had bad things written about the Holy Spirit on them or if when im cheering what if i have slipped and yelled something bad about the Holy Spirit. or if when I post things on myspace or soemthing, what if i have put something bad in a comment or when im takling to people and a bad thought happend i think 'oh my gosh did i just say that and i freak out.' im so miserable. has anyone else worried they've done things like this

Caty,

I love what my dear friend Mitzi always says, been there done that, been there done that, been there and done that again and again, we know how you feel, I am a worship leader in my church and have had the feeling many times that I am going to get up in front of the whole church and yell out something so vile that everyone will be shocked, and then they will have to escort me out of church in a straight jacket, but after 3 years in this position that hasn't and never will happen, do you know what people say to me every week in church, they say thank you for what you spoke about and sang about today it touched my heart, and I always give the Glory to God I just don't let the OCD win, and yes I have written letters before to people and had to open and reopen the letters again and again because I thought I wrote something so terrible in them that I had to check and re-check, OCD is a horrible and miserable disorder and I wish none of us had it, but we do so we have to find ways to deal with it, I too am going through a real bad bout right now I too feel absolutely miserable, but the Lord has pulled me through many many times before and He will not give up on me now and He will not give up on you either, what I am doing right now is what Mitzi suggested, I am acting "as if" this is tough I know, but we must press on, also another thing I am doing is seeking help for this "bully OCD", You know there is help out there, coming to this forum is very helpful, so this is one step in the right direction, but you really need to get help from a Doctor who knows about this disorder, We all love and care about you very much, try to believe that you won't always feel the way you do right now, you will get better, ask the Lord to send you the help that you need, He hears you, I promise you He does, and I wouldn't say that if I didn't believe it. I heard a Pastor the other day say when you can't think of anything else to say, which is where I am, at just yell "HELP" he will hear you! BLessing dear friend, Jan

 

[LadyL]

^^^^ Excellent post. I, too, wish none of us had to deal with this thing- but it can be overcome- it may not feel like it, but I hope one day to be so over this thing that I won't panic one bit when/if I sense a flair up.

I hope the same for you too Caty. Hold on. I've had times where I've encouraged people in the Lord and then doubted that it was of or from God. Then I'd wish I'd never said anything to begin with. It's tough, but hold on.

 

[myanchor]

Oh man, Caty, I guess you can see I'm not OCD. I am ADD. So sometimes I mess up. I've had times when I sort of have those feelings of check and recheck, but generally work my way out of it by saying whats the worst that could happen. But that's me. I do sometimes blurt out stuff I shouldn't, and it has caused trouble for me and I've had to apologize way more than once. But if I try and mend things and the others won't, then I wander on my way. Folks have abandoned me before and it hurts, but I survive. I sure would hate to have Tourettes though, ya know?

And I personally wouldn't worry about you saying something that is the unforgivable sin if you are in Christ and therefore have the Holy Spirit. I was railing about some really rotten things that were happening before and God stopped my mouth, all I could do was groan and moan. I couldn't say any words or actually even think them. That or the Holy Spirit may just stop your heart before you can say them. That's my personal belief.

 

[Caty]

well, i feel pretty awful today, and i know that these things are probably from my heart (they havent been as bad in the past 2 days) but i dont think anyone will ever be able to convince me i havent committed the uf-sin. i dont know why i was even born if it were to go through this torture, but i can change that i guess.

 

[Caty]

i just cant seem to find ANYTHING, that is helping me anymore. nothing is reasurring me that God will forgive me, the thoughts are back and i feel worthless. i dont do certain things bc im afraid God wouldn't like it or I dont do things bc the Bible says not too, but I think why should i care if He isnt gonna forgive me? I HATE myself and I HATE living bc, im a terrible person. I just want to be good again, I wish SOO bad I could go back in tiem and have listened to you all when you were telling me to forget feelings guilty over little things, but i didnt and my fears just kept getting bigger and over the past 10months i have ended up committing that uf-sin. i dont know if you all dont get it or what but it;s just like I KNOW i HAVE committed this sin, nothing is sayng I 'maybe' or that i have 'any hope' anymore.

 

[LadyL]

Caty,

Do you believe in Jesus Christ? That He is the Son of God and came down from Heaven to purchase you for your sins?

How is it that you think you've committed this unforgiveable sin? Did you deny Christ Jesus or the Holy Spirit?

I cannot tell you how many times I've had the same fears, but it's a lie! Not too long ago I had a prophecy- this lady did not know me, never met me but she somehow new what I was battling.

She told me that she could tell the enemy was attacking my mind- through fear. She also told me that God wanted me to trust him. Caty- Be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might. I believe God will bring you through this.

Don't believe the lie from the enemy that God doesn't want you anymore Caty, and don't hate yourself. If you really committed the unforgiveable sin, you wouldn't care and you wouldn't be so afraid- that's all it really is, Fear- False Evidence Appearing Real.

The enemy comes in to kill, steal and destroy- Jesus Christ, our Blessed Lord and Saviour told us this. Jesus came to give you Life Caty, and give it to you abundantly. Please don't give up, turn to Jesus, Caty.

I'm praying for you.

 

[Caty]

yes, i believe. and i would really really really like to believe that the uf-sin was 'dening Jesus' but Jesus didnt say that, He said 'who speaks a word against.' and even though i havent spoken a word ive said things in my head.

 

[Caty]

thanks for your help, but i alos dont get the 'if you are scared then you havent...' bc the Bible never says that. I'm not trying to keep arguing w/people and pushing them away but im so scared and i live a pointless miserable life.

 

[LadyL]

I'm sorry that you are feeling like your life is miserable. (((Caty))) It's not true. No matter what you feel, it's not true.

Peter denied Christ 3 times, but you know what Jesus did?

Luke 22:31-32 NIV says:

31"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. 32But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

You see that Caty? I love the last part: And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.

Caty, we are not just battling OCD, we are also battling the devil and the evil forces of this world. Those thoughts you are having are from the pit of hell- they are from the devil.

I am praying for your comfort and believing God to reveal himself to you during this trial Caty. Hold on, believe me- I've experienced what you're going through- but God knows all, he's there for you Caty- despite what you may feel right now.

Ephesians 6:10-12:

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

 

[gracealone]

but i dont think anyone will ever be able to convince me i havent committed the uf-sin.

You are right about that Caty - in this way - OCD demands absolute certainty. That's why it won't relent. How can you ever get certainty about a subject that is not 100&#37; scientifically proveable? You can't. But what you can do is let go and run the risk that God has accepted you - not because you feel that He has accepted you but because of who He is. I could never prove with 100% certainty that I wouldn't act upon the horrid harm thoughts that plagued me with my OCD. I had to just let go and run the risk that I wouldn't. Otherwise I'd spend the rest of my life in an endless cycle of doubt, fear, reassurance seeking which would lead to more doubt, more fear and even more reassurance seeking.
So here's your two options.
Your Spike:
"I don't feel certain that I haven't committed the unpardonable sin."

1. Exposure and Response Prevention:
"Oh well... I can't keep this up any more. I'm going to let go of this and get down to the business of serving Christ because He is so worthy of that service. I'm going to do this with or without comfort. I'm not going to fight this battle any more. It's not mine to fight any how, it's His. I know that stupid thought is going to pester me for quite some time but I'm not going to give it attention any more. To do so only prolongs my misery. So when that thought comes I'm just going to let it be there and continue on in my determination to live for Christ. I'm going to do this for as long as it takes for the thought to quit pestering me. I can out wait it."
2. Giving in to the OCD compulsion.
"Oh no... this scares me to death!! It makes me feel sick inside. I just have to find a way to be absolutely sure that I haven't done this sin. I'll keep asking people if they think I have. I'll keep looking for that perfect answer that will lay it to rest. I'll argue with this thought, fight and push back at it and tell it that I hope I'm still saved. I'll figure it all out eventually. As long as I keep on trying to solve this question I'll finally get some peace.....etc. etc. etc."

Option 1. is the right response to this OCD theme. Option 2. will prolong your suffering.
The things in our lives which are the most precious are not proveable. Things like love, faith and hope. Yet God says that those are the things that shall remain.
I'm praying for you - I know you understand what you need to do - I'm praying that God shall supply you with the courage and fortitude to manage your OCD.
Love you, (can't prove that to you, you'll just have to accept it in faith.)
Mitzi

 

[annrobert]

Caty,

Jesus said he that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out.
That is the absolute truth because Jesus is Truth and Jesus words will not pass away.
Nothing can cancel His words or make them pass away.
Absolutely nothing can make them pass away.
Jesus said he that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out.


Caty, I know and understand that you are scared and reaching out for help.
It is normal to want the fear and misery and pain to end.
Jesus invites us to come to Him for rest.Jesus came to heal the broken hearted and to set at liberty those who are bruised.The terror and anguish I went through was excruiating and I never had a moment rest.I could not fix myself.It won't last forever.
Jesus leads us to still waters and restores our soul.

Jesus said He that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out.
Jesus said it therefore it is true.
I do understand your pain caty , but it will not last forever.
Keep coming to Jesus , Jesus has you safe in His hand and He will never let you go and you will never perish.

 

[Liftyourhands7]

Caty,

Please go back over the post that Mitzi (Gracealone) wrote, she is very experienced in this disorder, she is a woman of God who knows what the BIble says, I have been a Christian for over 25 years and have studied the unpardonable sin extensively you HAVE NOT committed it, but I know you are not being convinced of that and no matter how many times we all tell you this, your OCD will not let you accept that you have not committed it. Please get help for your OCD, God understands and knows what you are going through, I know He will answer all of the prayers that are going up for you, and He will get you to the right person to help you, its ok to seek medical help for your medical problem, you are going to be alright. We all Love you, but Jesus loves you more. Jan

 

[Caty]

I mean I know I will never have 100&#37; certainty, but the only thing I do have from the Bible is that scripture that say I will never be forgiven, otherwise nobody really knows anythign about this sin and even though Ive never said anything if I have that in my hear and I thought it I might as well have. I know that some of my thoughts are from ocd but I also some are from me and me getting mad at God.

 

[Caty]

and even though some scriptures say that God forgives all sin, this one says the He doesn't, and even though some scriptures say that if you come to God an ask for forgiveness He will forgive you, but not if you do this one. People say that you ahve to read the whole Bible to get what He means and if you do you will see that there is a sin that you cannot ever be forgiven for. I can escape this fear,and I know its all my fault, but I guess I just shouldnt dwell on how I can change it bc now there is nothing i can do.

 

[annrobert]

and even though some scriptures say that God forgives all sin, this one says the He doesn't, and even though some scriptures say that if you come to God an ask for forgiveness He will forgive you, but not if you do this one. People say that you ahve to read the whole Bible to get what He means and if you do you will see that there is a sin that you cannot ever be forgiven for. I can escape this fear,and I know its all my fault, but I guess I just shouldnt dwell on how I can change it bc now there is nothing i can do.

caty Jesus said he that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast cast out.There are no conditions on that at all .If a person reads the whole bible,they will see that whoever comes to Jesus will never be cast out.No conditions at all.
They will see that whosoever will may come.
and that
God commands all men everywhere to repent.
Remember that whosoever will may come.
that Jesus said he that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out.In no wise cast out.
Believe what Jesus siad because Jesus is Truth.


John 6:37
All that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.


Romans 8

31What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

32He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
33Who shall lay any thing to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth.
34Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.
35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
37Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor

principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor

height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from

the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.




As soon as we believe in Jesus we have everlasting life.
The life is everlasting and will never ever end.
We are sealed until the day of redemption.
We will in no wise be cast out.
Nothing will snatch us out of Jesus hand and we shall never perish.
Jesus has given each one of us the measure of faith,we all have it already,in our heart and spirit.

Jesus will never leave us or forsake us.
We are sealed by the Holy Spirit until the day of redemption.
Nothing shall ever seperate us from the love of Jesus.
Even if our carnal mind has doubt it does not change the fact that we have been given the measure of faith,we always believe in our heart and spirit,the faith has already been given.
The gifts and calling of God are without repentance.

God always rewards those who seek Him.
He will always give good gifts to those who ask Him.
He will always give rest to those who come to Him for rest.
He will always be longsuffering and merciful,and forgiving and compassionate.
Jesus has already paid for us,we are not our own to protect.
Father God has already given us to Jesus, else we would have never come to Jesus,since we came to Jesus He will not cast us out.
We are not our own we are bought with a price,therefore Jesus will let none snatch us out of His hand.
We do not protect ourselves,Jesus does this since we belong to Jesus.
Jesus makes all things new and not ourselves.
Jesus is the Good Shepherd who leads us to still Waters and restores our soul and heals the broken hearted.
A smoking flax He will not snuff out and a bruised reed He will not quench.


Hebrews 4:16
Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

1 Peter 5:7
Casting ALL your care upon him; for he careth for you.



Hebrews 13:5
Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.


John 14:16
And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;

17Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.
18I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
19Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also. 20At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.
27My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:


28And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

29My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.
30 I and my Father are one.

John 6:47
Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life.

1. Matthew 24:35
   Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away
3. Mark 13:31
   Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.
4. Luke 21:33
   Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away

speak out, to express one's opinion openly and unreservedly: He was not afraid to speak out when it was something he believed in strongly.

I think this is the kind of speaking Jesus was talking about.Speaking a persons views openly and unreservedly.

The pharasees were also plotting against Jesus and they kept on saying this


Jesus was not referring to someone with ocd affliction , a disorder or affliction that does not reflect their views and is a disorder just like any disorder ,just like stuttering or having any illness.
People with ocd are not thinking or expressing their views,they do not want the disorder and want the thoughts and all afflictions that accompany ocd to end.
They want all this to go away, because they do not believe in this.
This is not their views.This causes them to suffer because they do not want it.
It is not them,
It is ocd.
Jesus knows this.
He knows they want this to stop because they are against the disorder and want it to stop.
The pharasees who were doing this were openly and unreservedly expressings their strong views.
They did not have ocd.
Their views caused them no distress.
They liked their views.
The views came from their heart.


Caty I think it may be a good idea for you to go see a doctor and get treatment for this and also to get some godly counsel, like a chistian counsellor .I really think this may help you alot.I think you may need to get some ongoing treatment and counsel to help you get better.There is no need to suffer like this.There is help and treatment available.Also reading the gospels and the psalms can be very helpful to renew our minds and prayer for spiritual nourishment.However still please consider setting up an appointment with a doctor soon and also find a counsellor.I really think you may need help with this so that it does not get worse.You do not have to get anyone involved that you do not want to.You can get help for this confidentially.
love
annrobert