Who is it that has wants and needs? It is definitely not your innermost being, your living soul, which is who you really are.
Only your false-self, that self which identifies as being flesh and body, which falsely has wants and needs.
Remember that you have a body, but you are not the body. Similarly, you have a vehicle to get around in, but you are not the vehicle. If you believe you are the body, then when the body dies so will you.
Matthew 10:39 Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.
...in Truth, Love and Faith. Anything else is about maintaining the body as a vessel, as a vehicle.
Nobody has the right to own anybody else. Everybody holds the power to make choices.
What you are describing is dependency on the other person to make you feel okay. As soon as the other acts independently, your false-self will feel threatened by your wants and needs not being met. The disharmony gets more distorted than it was from the start of the selfish relationship. What I just described is called, by this world, as co-dependency. Dependency on having wants and needs met sets up conditionality.
Unconditional love for each other keeps the other free to follow their truth, love and faith according to God's will. Not be each others will.
I am just reminding you, that a relationship is based on two innermost beings attracted to each others Truth, nourishes each others inner being with truth, love and faith. There is no room for false-selves in any true relationship. The false-self can never be trusted, and as soon as you do trust it, you will be led astray as a lost sheep without the shepherd.
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