Ok to date someone who is divorced?

[Tainted]

Nevermind

 

[Ahermit]

Is it ok to be with this woman she had 2 civil marriages and that was before Christ came into her life and both relationships I believe the former husbands left her and cheated on her and abused her.. is it ok to be with her in this type of situation?

If your intentions have anything to do for your own wants and needs, then how can it be okay.

 

[A_Thinker]

Is it ok to be with this woman she had 2 civil marriages and that was before Christ came into her life and both relationships I believe the former husbands left her and cheated on her and abused her.. is it ok to be with her in this type of situation?

If her husbands cheated on her, they broke the marriage union, ... and she is free to remarry ...

Matthew 5

31 “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

1 Corinthians 7

13 And if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him go. The believing brother or sister is not bound in such cases.

 

[Monksailor]

Divorced twice people have a VERY high probability of getting another divorce.

Some things in a character, most things, do not necessarily change overnight or for that matter in a lifetime. They DO become forgiven by God. That forgiveness cost someone unbearable torture and the most long-lasting death the Romans could devise. It takes two to Tango. Do not even begin to think this person's marital issues were all her CHOSEN life time partners faults two times in a row. I am not saying forget her, I would but that is me, but I would advise yo to move very, very ,very slow. I would say that it is a high probability that she comes from a very abusive childhood from her father, hence the choice of men who abuse her. Has she dealt with the emotional baggage impaled upon her from that, if that is the case? Victims can become victimizers if their abuse fallout isn't dealt with and worked through with forgiveness. Please, do not allow yourself to come to any quick decisions about your relationship. I would advise IF you date (NO SEX) you take at least a year to move into marriage and have had at least 2 or 3 serious conflicts where anger and hurt and forgiveness and compromise/concession are worked through. Most of all, pray to God to reveal what HE wants for you, NOT what you want. And lastly, I'll share what a missionary counseled me with once about contemplating a relationship with a woman: in God's presence do you feel peace about the decision? If not, DON'T.

 

[joshua 1 9]

Is it ok

I think Paul answers that when he says: "But such will have tribulation in the flesh, and I am sparing you." (1Cor7:8) You have to decide if it is worth putting up with the problems or not. My son says when you get involved with someone you have to consider how difficult it is going to be when you break up with them. I just talked to a girl that broke up with him 5 years ago and she is still mad at him for whatever her reason is. I think he was just so busy with work and school that he did not have enough time to pamper her and treat her like a princess and she could not deal with being neglected like that. We got to know her pretty good because she just about moved in with us and became a part of the family when she was spending so much time here. Which I am told is becoming more and more common now a days.

 

[Dave L]

Divorce is not an option in the New Covenant. You are married for life even if separated.

 

[joshua 1 9]

Do not even begin to think this person's marital issues were her CHOSEN life time partners faults two times in a row.

They just get involved with the same type of person all over again. There is a lot of passion and then a lot of fights and arguments. I know a girl that he broke her arm so bad that he ended up going to jail for 5 years. So can you imagine how much passion there was when they had to deal with an equal amount of turbulence. Even if you do manage to find a different type of person, you still miss the type of person that you know is going to cause you all sorts of problems and there will be a very high price to pay.

When you look at people like Elizabeth Taylor and Mickey Rooney you really wonder how they manage to go through all of those marriages.

 

[joshua 1 9]

Divorce is not an option in the New Covenant. You are married for life even if separated.

Yet in Jeremiah 3:8 we read: "I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries".

The issue as a Christian has to do with our priesthood, our ministry and the ability of God to be able to use us. In Leviticus a Priest is not to marry a widow or a divorced women. He is to marry a virgin in her youth. If he wants to be qualified to serve God in the temple. Even today a lot of churches will not allow a divorced man to preach or pastor a church. Because it sets a bad example for people.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Is it ok to be with this woman she had 2 civil marriages and that was before Christ came into her life and both relationships I believe the former husbands left her and cheated on her and abused her.. is it ok to be with her in this type of situation?

Do you believe that when a person comes to Christ and is born again they become a totally new creature in Christ? If a person's past is totally wiped out and buried in God's sea of forgetfulness, wouldn't that mean that her divorces before she was born again are no longer existent? Or do you have doubts that when a person comes to Christ, old things not necessarily pass away and not all things become new?

Who would be right -
God who totally forgives, cleanses, and forgets a person's past when they come to Christ...
Or you who are having difficulties because you are not sure that her past is totally erased and forgiven?

I guess if you are not happy and accepting of her as she is in Christ because of her two past divorces, then she may not be the woman for you.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

If her husbands cheated on her, they broke the marriage union, ... and she is free to remarry ...

Matthew 5

31 “Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

1 Corinthians 7

13 And if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let him go. The believing brother or sister is not bound in such cases.

You are not taking into account that if any person be in Christ they are a new creature. Old things have passed away, all things have become new. If her divorces were before she came to Christ, then God has totally forgiven, cleansed and transformed her. If you don't have forgiveness for someone who failed to keep the accepted standards before they became a Christian, then God might not forgive you for the sins you committed before you became a Christian. Something to think about...

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Divorced twice people have a VERY high probability of getting another divorce.

Some things in a character, most things, do not necessarily change overnight or for that matter in a lifetime. They DO become forgiven by God. That forgiveness cost someone unbearable torture and the most long-lasting death the Romans could devise. It takes two to Tango. Do not even begin to think this person's marital issues were all her CHOSEN life time partners faults two times in a row. I am not saying forget her, I would but that is me, but I would advise yo to move very, very ,very slow. I would say that it is a high probability that she comes from a very abusive childhood from her father, hence the choice of men who abuse her. Has she dealt with the emotional baggage impaled upon her from that, if that is the case? Victims can become victimizers if their abuse fallout isn't dealt with and worked through with forgiveness. Please, do not allow yourself to come to any quick decisions about your relationship. I would advise IF you date (NO SEX) you take at least a year to move into marriage and have had at least 2 or 3 serious conflicts where anger and hurt and forgiveness and compromise/concession are worked through. Most of all, pray to God to reveal what HE wants for you, NOT what you want. And lastly, I'll share what a missionary counseled me with once about contemplating a relationship with a woman: in God's presence do you feel peace about the decision? If not, DON'T.

You are taking the position that she was divorced since she became a Christ, instead of what she said - that her divorces happened before she became a Christian. Do you actually believe that when a person becomes a Christian all things don't become new?

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Divorce is not an option in the New Covenant. You are married for life even if separated.

She wasn't part of the New Covenant when she was divorced. You can't impose New Covenant values on someone who did things before she became converted to Christ. When she got converted to Christ she became a whole new creature in Christ, she died to her old life, and all things became new. Because God has buried her past in the deepest sea of His forgetfulness, it is no longer an issue to Him. So if you are going to judge her for her past which God has forgotten, then it would be right for God to judge you on your sinful past before you became a Christian.

 

[Dave L]

She wasn't part of the New Covenant when she was divorced. You can't impose New Covenant values on someone who did things before she became converted to Christ. When she got converted to Christ she became a whole new creature in Christ, she died to her old life, and all things became new. Because God has buried her past in the deepest sea of His forgetfulness, it is no longer an issue to Him. So if you are going to judge her for her past which God has forgotten, then it would be right for God to judge you on your sinful past before you became a Christian.

So bank robbers can continue since they started before becoming saved?

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Yet in Jeremiah 3:8 we read: "I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of all her adulteries".

The issue as a Christian has to do with our priesthood, our ministry and the ability of God to be able to use us. In Leviticus a Priest is not to marry a widow or a divorced women. He is to marry a virgin in her youth. If he wants to be qualified to serve God in the temple. Even today a lot of churches will not allow a divorced man to preach or pastor a church. Because it sets a bad example for people.

You are missing the point. She was an unconverted sinner when she got divorced. You are imposing Christian values on someone who was not a Christian. Paul was a persecutor of Christians, causing people to be imprisoned and killed before he became a Christian. By yours and other's mentality on this thread, Paul should never have been chosen to the the Apostle of the Gentiles because of his extreme sinfulness before conversion to Christ. In actual fact, you are presuming that nothing changes when a person is converted to Christ, when the Scripture says that everything changes and the person becomes totally new.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

So bank robbers can continue since they started before becoming saved?

There is no indication that she will become divorced for the third time after being converted to Christ, unless you don't believe that old things pass away and all things become new when a person is converted.

If a person was a bank robber before they were converted, then they will no longer rob banks after conversion because they will become new creatures in Christ.

 

[Dave L]

You are missing the point. She was an unconverted sinner when she got divorced. You are imposing Christian values on someone who was not a Christian. Paul was a persecutor of Christians, causing people to be imprisoned and killed before he became a Christian. By yours and other's mentality on this thread, Paul should never have been chosen to the the Apostle of the Gentiles because of his extreme sinfulness before conversion to Christ. In actual fact, you are presuming that nothing changes when a person is converted to Christ, when the Scripture says that everything changes and the person becomes totally new.

Paul repented. How do you repent from adultery while practicing it?

 

[Dave L]

There is no indication that she will become divorced for the third time after being converted to Christ, unless you don't believe that old things pass away and all things become new when a person is converted.

If a person was a bank robber before they were converted, then they will no longer rob banks after conversion because they will become new creatures in Christ.

Are you saying repentance is not necessary?

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Paul repented. How do you repent from adultery while practicing it?

How do you know she is practicing adultery when she doesn't appear to be in a relationship?

 

[A_Thinker]

Paul repented. How do you repent from adultery while practicing it?

She, obviously, would been forgiven at the time of her conversion ... if, indeed, she had any responsibility in the past divorces.

So ... adultery never occurs ... due to remarriage after conversion ...

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Are you saying repentance is not necessary?

My question is - is Jesus a complete Savour or just a partial one for divorced women?