Ok I have a problem....

[MelWright]

Ive started a thread here about my mum thats had a lot of replies and support.Im so grateful for that.

Ive finally realised im getting a problem myself. Ive learnt things from my mum. I hope I can get through this with no major problems. I dont need a drink every day. Its just when I do, I dont know when to stop. Ive ended up really bad a lot of times. Do you think it's possible to sort out this kind of problem? I hope so.

 

[BelindaP]

Admitting you have a problem is the hardest step to make. Now that you've done that, you can start down the road to healing. I'm not an expert on alcoholism, though, so I will leave it to the other wonderful people here to give you solid advice on how to proceed. *hugs*

 

[MelWright]

Ok, thanks. Its not majorly bad at the moment, I just want to sort this before I get too far when it will get to the stage that I can never drink again.

 

[rocklife]

Ive started a thread here about my mum thats had a lot of replies and support.Im so grateful for that.

Ive finally realised im getting a problem myself. Ive learnt things from my mum. I hope I can get through this with no major problems. I dont need a drink every day. Its just when I do, I dont know when to stop. Ive ended up really bad a lot of times. Do you think it's possible to sort out this kind of problem? I hope so.

maybe you can learn more about alcohol, and its effects. maybe try to find an article about alcohol education or responsible drinking or something like that. I personally abstain nowadays, but at least you should try to educate yourself about it, how much is too much for your body, etc, maybe that can help you make more informed decisions. Maybe you can find out from the legal stand point, or from the medical, they both can probably help you learn a bit about it, how much is too much, any medical consequences, etc.

 

[rocklife]

I found a couple examples of what I was talking about. http://www.lcb.state.pa.us/edu/cwp/view.asp?a=1346&q=555677 this shows from the police in Pennsylvania how many drinks starts making it illegal to drive.

http://www.liquor.qld.gov.au/Patrons/Healthy+drinking Here is a website from Australia talking about health risks.

You should remember for responsible drinking, what does the law say (police, they are here to help, don't want to drive drunk), and it is good to listen to doctors. You should ask your own personal doctor what is best for you. These sites are just general information, please research for yourself responsibly. I hope this helps a little.

and at your age, is this legal for you? (my country you have to be 21) I do not recommend alcohol at all, especially for young people. I think abstinance is best, personally. I do encourage you to educate yourself to be responsible and law abiding in your personal choices.

 

[MelWright]

Yes it is legal. And quite normal where I am too. But I know that im drinking more to forget the things that keep hurting me. Even if it is only a quick fix.

 

[MelWright]

Ive just looked at them articles, thank you for that.

 

[Healed_IHS]

Do you think it's possible to sort out this kind of problem?

It says in your profile that you are a christian. Let me ask you this. Do you believe in the power of Christ? Do you believe one who could transform matter from water to wine or to be bodily resurrected... do you believe that person can help you battle something as minor (in the grand scheme of it all) as alcohol abuse? I am not pronouncing you an alcoholic, but when you say:
But I know that im drinking more to forget the things that keep hurting me. Even if it is only a quick fix.
Yes, sister, that is abuse. I'm reading C.S Lewis Screwtape Letters right now and it sums it all up by saying the devil loves for us to take pleasures and corrupt them by our use of it. Sex, Liquor, Grass, whatever... the point is you are making it into a God, by giving it the power to heal (drinking more to forget the things that keep hurting me) that you should be bringing to God.
Nothing wrong with drinking, for most people. I myself, have several years on you. Hopefully what's occurred in my life will always be your "yets" (hasn't happened to me... yet), but I pray they never happen because you either
A- use alcohol as it is intended (not for hiding)
B- realize the cost is way to high.
Any way the Pastor who wrote "Purpose filled life" - Rick Warren, out of his church sprung Celebrate Recovery. Google it, check it out, good stuff and they are nationwide.
Honestly, I will pray you are able to discern clearly where you are at with this, and feel free to PM if you would like.

 

[AxionEsti]

Do you have an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) group near you? That would be one way of getting support for yourself. Another way would be to get some advice from your pastor or priest.

 

[MelWright]

Yes, someones told me where a meeting is I can go to. I may well do. Im in pain at the moment. Ive really hurt my back from my mum pushing me over into the kitchen cupboards. I think I need to get out of here sooner rather than later. Maybe not having these problems at home will make things easier on me.

 

[Healed_IHS]

It's quite possible not having the home issues will help.
Just remember, wherever you go there you are - so the next time that something happens, if you react in the same manner, it wasn't the situation, but something that needs to be looked at closer.

 

[MelWright]

I dont really understand that. Sorry. All I know is that it's really dragging me down being so upset and worried when im at home. Im finding it so hard to try and stay positive.

 

[Healed_IHS]

What I meant was if you choose to deal with issues at home through drinking and you move, only the home problem stops. Put it like this... if I get into a fight with my girlfriend, then as a result I hit myself in the head with a hammer. I break up with the girlfriend - but have problems at work. As a result... I hit myself with a hammer. Then it's not really because of the girlfriend/work issue, it's that I cope with problems by destructive means.

 

[MelWright]

Oh right, I understand now. Thanks. So your talking about the way I deal with problems, not the problems themselves. I dont have a clue how to change that.

 

[Healed_IHS]

We are supposed to love our enemies... not to be pincushions for them. If you are in a position where you keep getting into fights with the same person-- removing yourself may be advisable (IMHO).

Take the situation with the 3 suicide bombers in Scottland. One of the bombers was in fire next to the car, and one of the Scotts put them out. That takes a supernatural (greater than our natural capacity) love. The type of love we are commanded to have.

That being said, they aren't commanded to keep being bombed... but to show compassion to their attackers.

 

[MelWright]

How do you show compassion to someone who has none themselves? Thats something I cant get my head around yet.

 

[Healed_IHS]

That's why it's "super"natural. It's not through our nature but via God's. I think we all struggle with this.

 

[LoG]

How do you show compassion to someone who has none themselves? Thats something I cant get my head around yet.

Like Prodigal says, it is through God's power that we are able to that which isn't humanly possible. We bring a little willingness and He brings the power. If we were all to wait for the other person to show compassion first then there wouldn't be a lot of compassion or love going around. Neither do we look to be compassionate hoping for the other person to also change but rather we are compassionate because it is the right thing to do and God will pour his blessings on us as a result.

 

[MelWright]

I get all that but it's so hard. When your life has been completely turned upside down by so many people and they really really hurt you. It can be so painful and make you bitter. Thanks for taking the time to tell me your thoughts. I know you are right. Ive just got to have a complete makeover of my mind. Im thinking the wrong ways and ive got to change it. So hard though.

 

[Healed_IHS]

Your right. It's hard, no changing that. What are you going to do about it?