Offending Someone

[corvus_corax]

No they don't. Many "stupid little words" are intended to be offensive. People don't get together and decide a word is offensive. It is used in an offensive way, so it gains the offensive connotation.

Be careful there.
On this very thread, someone was using the word "homo" with no intention of using it offensively. But see below

So when people use them, they are going to be taken as offensive.

When they are used in an offensive way (ie with intent), then yes.
EDIT- when the offense has been explained (see below regarding me an Fijian culture) and they still refuse to change their wording, then yes as well

But I suppose it really depends on what words we are talking about.

Actually, given social and cultural context, no it doesnt.
Apparently (assuming a previous poster was being honest, which I doubt) the word "that" is offensive in a certain culture

Are we talking about people getting offended by the word "homo" (which, as I have stated, in much of western culture that I know of, is used as a pejorative) or getting offended over the use of "master/slave" in describing computer drives?

Good point, and one I would like to elaborate on.
JesusWalks has already stated that the word "homo" is not offensive in his culture. He has also stated that the word "gay" is, essentially, the Fijian equivalent of "homo" in the United States. IOW, "gay" is offensive and hence he wont use it.
Assuming his words are accurate, were I ever to travel to Fiji, I would do my level best to avoid the word "gay", since the Fijians apparently find that word offensive. Likewise, I would avoid the casual use of that word online when speaking to someone from Fiji*.

It's not that Im "PC", it's that Im simply polite and try to observe normal expectations of courtesy. Politically Correct and simply polite are two vastly different things (although the former tries to cloak itself in the latter, oftentimes).

Speaking your mind does not mean you have to be offensive to people. I think if somebody says "hey, when you use that word, it makes it look like you are insulting me" it's not asking much to alter the word you use. At the very least, for your own benefit of making your intentions in the conversation clear.

Absolutely correct!
It sound to me like you understand the concept of basic politeness and common courtesy.
Harkening back to my earlier post, I refuse to use the "F-Word" around my mother in law, even as a sentence intensifier. The reason has already been explained- She finds it offensive, even when it's not used as an insult or in a malignant way, so I, observing basic understood (at least to me) courtesy*, avoid using that word around her.

*JesusWalks could learn something from this example of obvious courtesty, IMO.

Hail and Greetings

Greetings babochka!

Since when am I responsible for you being insulted? People choose to be insulted by stupid little words.

Yes, there is a choice, but it's mostly not a conscious choice. Usually, in my experience, it's something that is ingrained through one circumstance or another.
For example, I have been around blacks/negros/African Americans (pick your poison ) who bandy the N-Bomb around like it's no big deal. However, if someone from outside their culture or group uses the same word (even in the same friendly context), then that someone better get ready for a world of hurt. Been there, done that (and I had been with a particular group of African Americans, and was considered a friend, for more than a year when I dropped the N-Bomb)
And yes, people are insulted by words, whether they are stupid, little or not. The cliche "sticks and stones" is utter garbage for most people.

Now, more to your point, am I actually responsible for the offense they take? Objectively, of course not.
But of course, most people arent objective. Every human on this planet tends to "think" with their emotions. Rather like my mother-in-law. Knowing this, those who tend to think more objectively should take the consideration necessary to simply be polite. As I said earlier, Im not, in any way, Politically Correct. Heck, Im rather crude and outspoken IRL.
But we have to realize that communication is not a one way street. It should be two way conversation (at least) and people should observe some basic guidelines of courtesy, if for no other reason than to open up lines of communication (assuming one wants to actually communicate, which most people- even those on these boards- dont want to do)

I tend to speak my mind. I've noticed that on many boards like this, the Americans are too PC and sensitive. Where I come from, many people speak 'rough' but they have good hearts and would make for great mates. I understand the difference between someone speaking to communicate with you and someone deliberately trying to start something.

So if you and I met, and I had a southern USA accent, and I was an admitted member of the KKK (yes, sorry, Im giving an extreme example), but you and I got along personally*, everything would be okay?
What if I dropped the N-Bomb? What if I referred to YOU by that term? What if I referred to your mother by that term?
What if I called your mother a spear chucker?

If you can honestly say that you wouldn't be offended in any way whatsoever then I may concede that you view words in a truly objective manner.
But you have to be honest if you are going to bother responding to this point


*Every group has exceptions. For example, certain racists hate negroes, but the negroes who live next door aren't (and I quote) "the same, they aren't like them"

BTW: I LOVE that [wash me mouth] thing. I laugh whenever i see it. Someone in CF has a weird sense of humour.

Yeah, they used to just ******** it out. Now they repeat "wash my mouth" three or four times in brackets and it takes up your limit on post length.

Destroy PC! Speak your mind!

We cant do that on this board, you [wash my mouth]ing [wash my mouth]ing [wash my mouth]r!!
**



** mods and members, please note the winky. Yes, Im just joking. Babochka and I have spoken before and we have nothing against each other

 

[rhyddid_rose]

Hail and Greetings

For example, I have been around blacks/negros/African Americans (pick your poison ) who bandy the N-Bomb around like it's no big deal. However, if someone from outside their culture or group uses the same word (even in the same friendly context), then that someone better get ready for a world of hurt. Been there, done that (and I had been with a particular group of African Americans, and was considered a friend, for more than a year when I dropped the N-Bomb)

And yes, people are insulted by words, whether they are stupid, little or not. The cliche "sticks and stones" is utter garbage for most people.

Aye, I understand that. I can be rude and say things with me mates that would get me in trouble on CF. We know each other well enough not to cross a certain line, even when being rowdy. I wouldnt use the same words and tone with, say, my boss or my grandmother, or even you, Corvus.

Now, more to your point, am I actually responsible for the offense they take? Objectively, of course not.
But of course, most people arent objective. Every human on this planet tends to "think" with their emotions. Rather like my mother-in-law. Knowing this, those who tend to think more objectively should take the consideration necessary to simply be polite. As I said earlier, Im not, in any way, Politically Correct. Heck, Im rather crude and outspoken IRL.
But we have to realize that communication is not a one way street. It should be two way conversation (at least) and people should observe some basic guidelines of courtesy, if for no other reason than to open up lines of communication (assuming one wants to actually communicate, which most people- even those on these boards- dont want to do)

Point well taken. I am outspoken and tend to be honest in my dealing with people, but I am also polite. I dont want people to think I'm a total git of somekind. One can be forthright and be civil about it.

So if you and I met, and I had a southern USA accent, and I was an admitted member of the KKK (yes, sorry, Im giving an extreme example), but you and I got along personally*, everything would be okay?

What if I dropped the N-Bomb? What if I referred to YOU by that term? What if I referred to your mother by that term?
What if I called your mother a spear chucker?

The context (and my state of mind) would determine the consequences. If you were a very close mate and we joked about in that way, no worries.

If we weren't close, and I was in one of my Evil Black Celtic Woman moods..........you had better run and quite quickly, I may add.

Destroy PC! Speak your mind!

We cant do that on this board, you [wash my mouth]ing [wash my mouth]ing [wash my mouth]r!!
**

Aye, you're right, you great bloody [wash me mouth]ing [wash me mouth]!

Hail the Aesir; Hail the Vanir

Babochka